Dog Collars Jokes
29 dog collars jokes and hilarious dog collars puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog collars that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dog Collars Short Jokes
Short dog collars jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog collars humour may include short collar jokes also.
- What's the difference between a priest and his dog? One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.
- I don't have tags for my dog, but I bought her a phone in case she got lost. She ran away today. I really should collar.
Also, Lost: Seeing Eye Dog
Last Seen: Never - Please give me an advice... Our kid found a collar and a leash in our bedroom. how to explain to him that we are not buying him a dog?
- I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch. But he got the collar.
- I bought reflective tape to put on my dogs collar... Don't want to be responsible for a flat tire...
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Dog Collars One Liners
Which dog collars one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog collars? I can suggest the ones about collie dog and dog toy.
- How do dogs always know who is barking? They have collar ID
- What do all dogs get with their phones? Collar ID
- How do you know if your dog is calling you? Check his collar ID.
- Why didn't the dog answer his phone? It was ringing with no collar ID.
- Why do dogs have collars and cats don't? Because no one likes cat collars.
- How do dogs know that their owner is calling them? Collar ID
- I figured out how to discipline my kid without spanking Electric dog collar
- What do dogs and cell phones have in common? They both have collar ID.
- Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
Ridiculous Dog Collars Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about dog collars you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog collars pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cats and ladders
A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man runs into a pub all out of breath and asks at the first table:
"Guys, who's got a b**... fat dog with a white collar?"
Nobody raises their hand.
"Oh, s**..., so I ran over the vicar."
A man struggled into the animal hospital ...
A man struggled into the animal hospital carrying a large dog in his arms. The team quickly led them into a treatment room and in walked a doctor, who asked "What's wrong?"
"I ... need to put ... my dog down," said the man, breathing heavily, barely able to stand.
The doctor motioned to his assistants, who gently took the dog and exited through another door. "Wait here, sir. We'll be right back."
15 minutes later, the doctor re-entered the room carrying a collar and a beautiful porcelain urn.
The man, now relaxed and refreshed, jumped up and said "Oh, Doctor, hello! Now we can discuss my dog's flea problem!"
I have views on my hot neighbour but she's a cat person.
And this morning, my dog came with the cat in its mouth, dead of course.
I was horrified and realised I had to fix this if I ever want to hit her.
So I went to all the kennels in the shire to find the exact same cat.
Finally found it and put the dead cat's collar on it. Send it back to her garden and then ran away.
Ten minutes later, heard a big scream, she was unconscious on the lawn.
I rushed to wake her up and asked what happened, worried she would have spot that the cat was different. She replied, out of breath:
I found my cat dead this morning, my dad came and we buried it. And now I find it back to life!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
He Tries To Give A Little Girl Some Advice. But Didn't Expect This Reply.
One afternoon, firefighter Rick was working on the engine outside the Fire Station, when he noticed a little Susan nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The Susan was wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
So firefighter Rick walked over to take a closer look. That sure is a nice fire truck, the firefighter said with admiration to Susan.
Thanks, the little Susan replied.
Then firefighter Rick looked a little closer, The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
Little partner, firefighter Rick said, I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go a lot faster.
The little Susan replied thoughtfully, You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.
A rabbi, a priest and a nun ...
A rabbi, a priest and a nun were walking down a forest path chatting whence all of a sudden a bright light appeared and an angel came forth saying that God had offered each of them a small piece of cloth to do as they please with.
The rabbi exulted that he will fashion it into a skull cap and was so pleased that he promised immediately to return to the same spot every day for the rest of his life to see if he could procure even more holy cloth.
The priest said he will fashion it into a dog collar and also return to the same spot in the hope of getting more.
The rabbi and priest both looked at the nun as she stood their defiantly......"I'm NOT making a habit out of this".