The Best 35 Dog Breed Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dog Breed jokes. There are some dog breed dogs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dog breed dog breeds puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dog Breed Jokes and Puns

What dog breed always arrives in 2nd place?

Silver retrievers.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender

"Give me two beers. Rough day at work."

And the bartender says, "Oh? what do you do?"

The guy says, "I take care of the Corgis - you know, the dogs that the royal family owns."

The bartender says, "Tough job, huh?"

The guy says, "Well, all that in-breeding has led to low intelligence
and bad temperament. And the dogs aren't that smart either."

The pug

A guy tells his buddy, "I got my wife a dog for her birthday."

His buddy asks, "What breed?"

"It's a pug, the guys says. "And, despite the squashed nose, the bulging eyes and the rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her."

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow

"Ooh!" said thew presenter, "This is a rare breed, do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks." replied Paddy.

jokes about dog breed

What dog breed is the funniest?

Pit bulls, they leave everyone in stitches.

Disclaimer: I am a pit owner, and I still found this funny. Please don't inundate me with pro-pitty rebuttals, I already know.

[OC] I have a friend who breeds hound dogs and I'm trying to get into the business myself, but I don't know where to start.

Maybe I should get some pointers from him

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can't jump.

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, buildings can't jump

Dog Show Hair Remover

A young woman had entered her dog in the dog show in the smooth-haired breed category. To give it an advantage, she went to the pharmacist for some hair remover. The pharmacist gave her the product requested and advised, "Just remember to keep your arms up for at least five minutes." "Errr... it's not for my armpits," she flustered, embarrassed, "it's for my Chihuahua" "Oh well, in that case," said the pharmacist, "don't ride a bike for twenty minutes."

The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog...

He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him

What is El Chapo's favorite dog breed?

A Meth Lab

You can explore dog breed bred reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dog breed breeds dad jokes. There are also dog breed puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My hairdresser friend has started breeding dogs.

He calls them shampoodles.

Top 10 most aggressive dog breeds

10: You

9: can't

8: Rank

7: Dog breeds

6: Based on

5: Their aggressiveness

4: As every

3: Dog breed

2: Is different.

1: Chihuahuas

How many different dog breeds can jump higher than a skyscraper?

All of them. Skyscrapers can't jump!

Did you know that there's a breed of dog who loves science?

You can tell which one it is because they're always wearing a lab coat.

My friend told me her dogs breed was Havanese

And i told her, of course your dog has knee's, how else would it be able to walk?

My neighbor has a 15 acre farm, he breeds dogs to do work on them. He grows cantaloupe, and come harvest time the dogs sniff out the ripe ones and bring them back to the barn.

He says the breed are Melon Collies

What are scientists favorite breed of dogs?


[Long] A redneck was walking with its dog...

A redneck was walking with his dog, when another dog starts to pick a fight with the redneck's dog, the redneck's dog with just one bite kills the other dog.

A lot of people get scared, cause there's a lot of blood and carnage, them a guy asks the redneck "What is your dog's breed?"

To wich the Redneck responds "Before we cut the tail it was a gator"

Apparently Jesus had a dog...

It was a cross breed.

My dog died. He exploded.

He was a mixed breed. Half golden lab, half meth lab.

Tell me about yourself

1: Well uhh.. I like dogs

2: Oh, what's your favourite breed?

1: Any breed is good, they all taste the same anyway

3 dogs met at the park

The Husky mentioned that God has blessed Huskies as the superior breed.

The Rottweiler snapped quickly and replied that God said Rottweilers are the absolute best!

The German Sheppard turned and asked, I said what ?

What's the smelliest breed of dog?

A poo-dle

Most popular dog breed in New Mexico?

The Meth Lab.

What breed of dog is magical?

The Labra-Cadabrador

What dog breed will always leave you behind?

A ciao ciao

What breed of dog is the most depressing...?

A melancholy.

What dog breed do Jewish pet owners desire most?

A Golden Retriever

Hey, check out my new dog!

"He used to be police dog down in Florida."

"Oh, what breed is he?"

"He's a meth lab."

Achilles had an affinity for large breed dogs

Mostly because he couldn't stand ankle bitters.

What's Donald Trump's favorite dog breed?

A close-the-border collie.

What is a Persian person's favourite dog breed?


What is Jeremy Wade's favorite dog breed?


What breed of dog does Spanish drug lord have?

Coker Spaniard

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dog breed terriers puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dog breed terrier piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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