Dog And Mailman Jokes
16 dog and mailman jokes and hilarious dog and mailman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog and mailman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dog And Mailman Short Jokes
Short dog and mailman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog and mailman humour may include short dog and cat jokes also.
- I recently got hired as a USPS mailman. I was really excited about it, but my dog wouldn't talk to me for a week afterwards!
- My friend made a puppy out of glue! I thought it was cool until it bit a mailman. He's a viscous dog.
- I dressed up my dog as a mailman for Halloween and He bit himself :D Very late entry for Halloween hahaha.
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Dog And Mailman One Liners
Which dog and mailman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog and mailman? I can suggest the ones about mailman and hound dog.
- Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the other mailman.
- What did the dog say when the mailman asked "how was your day"? ruff
- Why is dog man's best friend? They keep the mailman away from his wife
- Why does the Mexican man chain his dog away before the mailman comes? Because his panics.
Dog And Mailman Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dog and mailman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog owner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog and mailman pranks.
My son came home from school and I immediately asked him:
"Hey son, what has 4 legs but isn't alive?"
"Dad, you told me that one yesterday" he said, looking annoyed. "It's a chair."
"Not this time son...the mailman ran over your dog today."
A mailman walks up to a house...
He sees a pig with a wooden leg. When the owner answers the door, the mailman asks why the pig has a wooden leg.
"Well, you see, that pig is a life-saver."
"That doesn't explain why he has a wooden leg."
"A couple nights ago, our house caught on fire. That pig dragged every one out of the house- even the dog."
"Okay, but that still doesn't explain the leg."
"Well, with a pig that great, you can't eat him all at once!"
Haven't seen this one here yet
**How to install a southern home security system**
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 15 men's work boots, and place them on your porch with a copy of *Guns & Ammo* magazine.
2. Place four of the biggest dog bowls you can find on the porch next to the boots and magazines.
3. Leave a note on the door that reads:
Bubba,
Me, Jimbo and Buck went to get more beer and ammo. Be back in a bit. Don't mess with the pitbulls, they got the mailman real bad yesterday. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, locked 'em all in the house, so you better wait outside. Be right back.
-c**...
Three Dogs Are Sitting in the Vet's Waiting Room
The dogs ask each other what they're in for.
The first dog sadly says, "I just can't help myself when it comes to the mailman. I just get so angry when he walks up to the door that I bit him. Now I'm being put to sleep."
The second dog says, "Oh no, that's terrible. I'm a barker myself. I know I'm not supposed to bark all night, but I just can't help myself. So I'm being put to sleep too."
The first two look at the third dog for his story.
"Well, my owner likes to do her housework in the n**...," he said. "Yesterday, she was vacuuming and bent over to get under the couch. I mean, I couldn't help myself; I hopped right on and had the ride of my life!"
The other two dogs looked at him compassionately. "So you're being put to sleep too?"
"What? No, she's having my nails clipped!"
A guy says to his wife, "I'm in the mood for some 69."
She says, "It's that time of the month, but if you don't care, I don't care."
They go into the bedroom, and are 69ing like mad dogs when the doorbell rings.
She says, "Answer the door."
He says, "But my face is a mess."
She says, "It's just the postman. Answer the door, and if he says anything, just tell him you were eating a jam sandwich."
He opens the door and says, "I'm sorry about my mouth, I was eating a jam sandwich."
The mailman says, "I wasn't looking at the jam on your mouth...I was looking at the peanut butter on your forehead."