Dog Adoption Jokes
50 dog adoption jokes and hilarious dog adoption puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog adoption that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dog Adoption Short Jokes
Short dog adoption jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog adoption humour may include short animal shelter jokes also.
- I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith... As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.
- I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today.. First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.
- Anti Vaxx Dating a girl with an unvaccinated kid is like adopting an old dog. You feel like you're being a good person for accepting it, then you get attached and they die when they're 12.
- Excuse me sir, are you this dogs dad? 'No, I adopted him'
This is something I get asked a lot. Thought it was funny enough to be a joke - What's the difference between a trump supporter and a newly adopted Siberian husky? The dog has the mental fortitude to realize he's just gotten owned by a Russian.
- I adopted a dog who used to belong to a blacksmith I know he used to belong to a blacksmith because as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
- I walked into a PETA adoption center and the receptionist asked me what kind of dog I wanted Apparently "Whatever's low in cholesterol" was not the right answer.
- Oldest joke in the world So my friend adopts a dog, and he tells me it's got no nose. "No nose?" I said, " How does it smell?"
He says,
"Awful" - My wife and I recently adopted 2 children from china and I came home today to find them trying to cook my poodle. Immediately I repeated what I said this morning.
"No kids! I said WALK the dog!" - I adopted a dog from an iron worker the other day As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
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Dog Adoption One Liners
Which dog adoption one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog adoption? I can suggest the ones about dog breeding and dog owner.
- I adopted a drug sniffing dog... she's having a real hard time quitting
- I adopted two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex They're my watch dogs.
- Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He was told to get a long little doggy...
- At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?
- I adopted a dog last week. I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
- So I work with dogs Whenever they get unruly I just tell them they are adopted.
- How do you know if someone adopted their dog? Don't worry they will tell you
- What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog? All of them are adopted
- If I ever got a dog... I don't know how I could bring myself to tell her she was adopted.
- At what age is it proper to tell my dog that he's adopted?
- I've read The Rock is thinking about adopting a dog Apparently a rockweiler
- I adopted a dog with no feet. He has all the tricks down except heel.
- Why do lawyers never adopt a dog? Because they see dogs as only an invitation to treat.
- Why did the cowboy adopt a w**... dog? He wanted to git a long little doggy.
Dog Adoption Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dog adoption you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog lover jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog adoption pranks.
So an elf walks into an animal shelter...
...and, being from the North Pole, he wants a hound dog to run a transport system. This particular shelter stocks only mutts.
On the first day, the elf says, "What type of dog is that one there?" he asks, pointing to a cage. "That's a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle," responds the clerk. The elf shakes his head, and moves on to the next cage.
"What type is this one?" he asks. "A German Shepherd and Beagle cross," replies the clerk. Again, the elf shakes his head, and walks to the third and final cage.
"What type is this one?" he asks again. "That's a Pointer and Irish Setter cross," says the clerk. The elf nods his head vigorously, and adopts the animal immediately.
Mystified, the clerk's assistant asks, "Why did he chose that one?" the clerk laughs, and replies, "It was a Point-Setter."
An orphan had a rough year...
He had been adopted three times. The first family had a dog that the boy loved, but the father beat the dog daily. The boy reported the family, and he returned to the foster home. The second family had a loving mother that took care of the boy, but the father beat his wife daily. The boy reported the father, and the mother was forced to return the boy to the foster home. The third family seemed very nice at first, but when the father got drunk, he beat the boy. Yet again, the boy reported the father, and returned to the foster home. At this point, the boy was feeling like he would never find a home he could stay in. But a local judge, hearing his story, wanted to give the boy a Christmas present. He visited the boy, and asked what he wanted for Christmas. The boy said, "I want to be adopted by the Houston Texans." Confused, the judge asks the boy why he would want to be adopted by a sports team. The boy smiles and yells, "Cause they don't beat anybody."
[Insert the listener's favorite sports team for bonus laughs]
I was visiting my blonde friend, who just adopted two new dogs...
I asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I asked why she would ever name her dogs that. She answered "I needed some watch dogs"
I adopted a rescue dog early this morning...
But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is b**....
My neighbor, an elderly p**..., adopted a puppy
and asked me if I could help train it.
I told her "No sorry, you can't teach an old trick's new dog."
Found out some horrible news about my dog of 10 years today...
Turns out hes adopted and we dont know how to tell him...
My Chinese neighbors just adopted three new dogs.
Their names are Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.
Did you hear about the old lady who adopted a couple of pound dogs?
Turns out it was two mutts for her.
Is that your dog?
No, actually it's adopted. My wife and I were unable to conceive a dog naturally.
I decided to call my newly adopted dog "Onions"
So I could have a reason for crying when I cut him up at the dinner table
Just thought of a physics joke in class
One day, Newton adopts a dog to play catch with his apple, naming it Theta. Busy with writing the *Principia*, Newton doesn't notice that Theta has been p**... all over the lawn. When he finally steps outside and sees the mess, he energetically graps his shovel and gets to work.
A visitor asked the neighbor, "Why is the lawn all messed up?", and the neighbor replied, "Oh, Newton's just expending energy. He's madcos(θ).
(Kinetic Energy=Fdcos(θ))
A woman and her husband got a dog
They show off their new dog to their friend, who absolutely adores the little guy.
What a good boy! Their friend says. Did you adopt him?
No, says the wife, he's our biological dog