Doesnt Jokes
110 doesnt jokes and hilarious doesnt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doesnt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Doesnt Short Jokes
Short doesnt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doesnt humour may include short pizza jokes also.
- (popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team? They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..
- Two people are walking down the street...... One is a musician. The other doesnt have any money either.
- please help laptop problem I painted my laptop black in hope of it running faster, now it doesnt work at all.
- My dad doesnt trust anyone, in fact he has a saying about it But he wouldnt tell me
Credits: Anthony Jeselnik - Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing? I just cant see them taking off.
(edit) : why doesnt this joke have any upvotes? I guess it kind of flew under the radar. - Whats the difference between a piano, a keyboard and a bottle of glue? The piano doesnt need electricity, the keyboard does.
- When I heard of an air fryer that doesnt use any oil I thought there was no way it would actually fry foods But then I found out it was full of hot air.
- Three men walk in to a bar. One of them is wearing a hat Oops!
Your current data plan doesnt cover this feature. Click here to upgrade. - Whats the difference between your mom and my dishwasher? My dishwasher doesnt follow me around for two weeks after I put a load in it.
- Trump doesnt like desserts Really? I dont believe you.
Yes, he doesn't like Macrons, whether you believe me or not its trudeau.
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Doesnt One Liners
Which doesnt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doesnt? I can suggest the ones about catchy and whats.
- Why arent There Many jewish gardeners? Because money doesnt grow on trees
- How do you call an alcoholic that doesnt admit the addiction? Jack Denials
- I have a joke about nihilism but I guess it doesnt matter...
- I bought a new puppy for my son (3) Now he doesnt have to wait alone in the hot car
- Little Debbie doesnt have a friend with benefits.... She has a Nutty Buddy
- I was gonna post a joke about a bad artist but it really doesnt paint a pretty picture
- Why doesnt Dracula attack chickens Because their blood is fowl
- Why cant the chef finish making his food? He doesnt have thyme.
- What goes down but doesnt go up? A yo
- The only kids drake doesnt want to be around Are his own
- Why doesnt Sephiroth go outside? There are too many clouds.
- My girlfriend is like a unicorn She doesnt exist
- The job market The only place where being to good at something doesnt get you in
- Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
- My friend told me his favourite word was 'many' It doesnt mean much to me...
Great Doesnt Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about doesnt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hereditary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doesnt pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between a black guy and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 guys..
Are lost and in the woods, when they get captured by indians. The indian chief tells the first man "Either we kill you or we give you b**... b**...." Well the first guy doesnt want to die, so he decides b**... b**.... The chief yells "Yeah!!!b**... b**...!!", and the whole tribe proceeds to r**... the man for two hours, leaving him beaten and near death. The chief then asks the second guy the same question. Well he decides he sure doesn't want b**... b**..., so he tells the chief they can kill him. The chief looks around and yells "Yeah!!! Death by b**... b**...!!!!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good Blonde Joke
A blind guy walks into a lesbian bar and orders a drink. He sits for a while and doesnt hear much so he asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. The bartender says, before you tell your joke I want you to know that there is a big blonde softball player sitting next to you, two blondes that cage fight playing pool behind you, and I myself am a blonde female hockey player...So, do you still want to tell you joke? No. The man replies, not if Im going to have to explain it four times!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joke directed insult
A woman walks into the doctors office. She says she wants a child, but doesnt want to have s**.... The doctor says ok and asks what kind of child she wants. The woman said she wanted a smart and handsome kid. The doctor then hands her a blue pill.
A few months later, the woman comes back and says she has had a miscarriage but still wants a child. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she wants. The woman said she will have a regular kid this time. The doctor then hands her a red pill.
Even more months later, the woman returns and says shes had a miscarriage but still wants a kid. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she will want. She says since the other ones did not work out she will have a ugly, s**... kid. The doctor says ok and hands her a pill.
*At this point the joke teller asks the victim what color they think the pill is.
*The response will most likely be "I don't know, what?"
*The joke teller then says "I don't know, try asking your mother."
Immaturity at its best.
Cheese Jokes
Q:What type of cheese do you use if you need to hide a horse?
A: Mascarpone
Q:What type of cheese do you use to make a Polar Bear come to you?
A:Camembert
Q: What type of cheese is made backwards?
A: Edam
Q:What type of cheese doesnt belong to you?
A: Nacho Cheese
A man and his memories
A man was going on vacation for the first time in 20 years. He is very grumpy becuase he has not been off of work in a long time. So he is driving down the highway, and he sees an advertisement for a free chance to meet an Indian man who claims that he can tell you one of your most distant memories. He doesnt beleive it and continues driving. Soon, he pulls over for gas, and as he fills up, he sees the tee-pee that the old Indian man was living in. He figures since he has already stopped, he should go over and check it out. He walks over and enters. Without so much as a simple "Hello", he blurts out "What did I have for breakfast 20 years ago?" The Indian folds his arms and concentrates. After a few seconds, he shouts out "EGGS!" The grumpy man snorts and says, "how would you know what I ate for breakfast 20 years ago?!" and storms out laughing.
10 years past, and the man is driving down the same highway going on another vacation. He sees the old tee-pee and pulls over. He thought to himself "I was pretty mean to the guy all those years ago, maybe I will go and apologize" He also figures he will try some of the Indians' native language. He knows that this particular language has "Hi" being said "How". So he walks in and aproaches the old Indian man saying "How" The Indian man folds his arms and thinks. Confused, the other man just stands there and waits for him to say hi back. After a few seconds, the old Indian yells out "SCRAMBLED!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesnt Justin Bieber shop at Modells?
He loves d**...
The sons of Superman, Flash and John are chatting...
Superman's sons says, "my dad travels the fastest, he doesnt care about traffic and returns home from work in a matter of minutes."
Flash's son says, "Nah, dude, my dad travels at the speed of light, the moment he finishes work, he's home."
John's sons says, "Please, my dad's shift ends at 5, he's home watching TV at 4:30 already"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best short jokes?
I need a joke for a meeting we have tomorrow at work but I cant remember any good ones after following this tradition weekly for the last few months.
It must be short with just an opening line and a punchline like this:
**Can a ninja throw a star?**
**Shuriken**
The punchline doesnt have to be one word of course, but it cant be a long joke.
Can anybody remember any good ones?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lenin in Poland
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland."
The artist is confused; "Lenin never went to Poland" he claims. The commissioner doesnt care about the facts however, and just wants the painting.
When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) n**... in bed with Leon Trotsky.
One guest asks, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."
My Dad just told me this joke.
A man walks into a bar and sees a guy sitting next to a dog at the bar table. He comes over to the guy and says "Hey, does your dog bite?" "No" the man replies. He claps the dog and it bites his hand aggressively, blood everywhere. "Ahh! I thought you said your dog doesnt bite!?" "....Thats not my dog" replies the man.
Aladdin's lamp
Husband: I found Aladdin's lamp today. Wife: Wow! What did you ask? Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times. Wife: Aww. Love you dear. Did he do it? Husband: He said multiplication doesnt apply to zero.
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
Both of their last big hits were....wait a second...this joke doesnt work anymore.
My wife tells me im always too negative
Well, doesnt that make me a positive?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
why dont dwarves smoke w**...
cause it doesnt get them high
The Music Major
A student has a music major final due, he must compose a symphony.
Out of time, he decides to go to the library to find sheet music and simply write it backwards and submit it as his own. He looks through the stacks and finds one from his very professor when he was a student. He copies it down very fast and doesnt even have a look before substituting it.
Days later, he gets an F. He asks his professor if the music was no good. The professor says it's the best he's ever heard, but wasn't sure why he thought he could get away with submitting Beethoven's 9th symphony.
What Slenderman doesnt have?
Facebook.
what is an pirates fav element
potassium because pirate doesnt want scurvy. it not argon k?
Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?
Because of sanitation reasons.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They should make a w**... strain called "WMD"
Except it turns out it doesnt exist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman goes to confession, tells the priest she has deviant s**... thoughts...
She says she cant help these s**... thoughts and doesnt know what to do. It has gotten so bad she even stopped wearing p**.... The priest says, "ok my child. I want you to do 10 hail marys 5 our fathers and 43 cartwheels."
A woman goes into labor...
A woman and her husband go to the hospital as she goes into labor. The doctor tells them that they are trying a new machine that will transfer a percentage of the pain to the father. The couple decides to try it out. They want to start at 10% and see from there. The husband doesnt feel too much, so they crank it up to 20%. He is still feeling good and they decide to bring it all the way up to 50%. At this point, he is still not feeling very much pain, and he sees how much it is helping his wife. They eventually go all the way up to 100% and the child is born with no pain for the mother. The couple finally gets home and finds the mailman dead on the porch.
I always told my mom shes like a lazy baker
When it comes to deserts, she doesnt knead any
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**... Cure
A lady walks into a doctors office. She says, " Sir I have a serious problem. I dont know when it started, but I lost control of my farts. Fortunately it doesnt sound or smell at all, but I f**... all the time. You must have not noticed, but I already f**... about 5 times since I walked into your office.
Doctor, silently listening, finally stood up and gave her few pills.
"One of these every day should fix you up in a week."
A week passed, and the lady returned.
She says angrily," I thought the pill was supposed to cure me, but it just made it smell horribly!"
The doctor, surprisingly happy with the result, says, "All right, lets move onto your ears then."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are certain professions where having experience doesnt account for anything
like being a s**... bomber
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does an older woman have between her breast that a younger one doesnt?
Her belly button.
It doesnt matter how popular apple is...
everyone has Windows.
What has four legs but doesnt come when u call it?
A table
I don't understand why people say that it doesnt work to just "pull out"
Whenever I pull out a gun, people listen right away!
I helped my brother out a few days ago and he said "thanks means a lot"
I said "no it doesnt"
What doesnt get wet when it rains?
The oceans
(The joke is the joke itself.)
Please clap.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is blue and doesnt fit?
A dead epileptic.
Batman doesnt know how to invest
All his money goes in vain enterprises
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My s**... life is like the eclipse.
It doesnt happen often and only lasts a minute or so.
The reason we know time travel doesnt exist
No mysterious investor pooled all their money into Apple when it first started out.
An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants
It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.
Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"
"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"
If a tree falls in the forest
And the wife doesnt hear it
Is it still the husbands fault?
Whats the difference between higher education and google?
Google doesnt put you in debt for the rest of your life
What do you call an AI that doesnt operate in base 2?
gay
me playing some mentally hard games
"welp, this doesnt look like something i can beat and just forget about like i did with my wife..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A h**... in a vest values his second amendment right almost as much
as he doesnt understand it.
Last night we had passover, so this morning I told my wife I have been reflecting and decided I will stop drinking. She was so happy she started crying.
She doesnt realise yet its April 1rst
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know whats the difference between a pimple and a pastor?
The pimple doesnt come on your face before youre 13.
A man marries a women who is a very good cook..
Every time she makes something he says,
"This doesnt taste like how my mom used to make it."
Final after a year of this at every meal she angrily asks, " How did your moms taste??!!"
"Awful" He replies.
I really hate posting in forums when trying to troubleshoot a tech problem
person 1: Having the same problem please fix
person 2: same pls halp
person 3: same someone please find solution
person 4: doesnt work for me either
person 5: yeah please solve
i took a dna test with my black friend.
Turns out im a little black and he's a little white.
My other friend said
"Doesnt matter if you're both midgets."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A japanese guy gets off the plane to New York
He needs American money so he goes to the bank but doesnt know much english. He goes to the teller and says "me, change" and hands over 10,000. The bank teller understands and takes it and hands over $100
The next day, he does the same thing and gives 10,000 yen to the teller but only gets $90 in return.
He says "last day i got $100, not $90 you made mistake"
The teller replies "flucuations"
The japanese guy is furious and a has a look of digust. He replies "well, f*** you white guy" and storms off.
*dont know if its repeated here but i remember my dad telling me somewhere a decade ago*
What do you call someone who doesnt drink coffee for caffeine or believe in religion?
A Teaist
On the topic of pleasurable foods, my friend said she likes cucumbers for their "multiple uses." She said she doesnt like pickles. I said...
It's better with some dill dho
Since Link doesnt speak, he was having a hard time telling Zelda he liked her. Ganon had an idea and told Link...
"Triforce"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Janitor in the church
The church janitor is cleaning the large overhead ducts from the inside when he notices a nun praying by herself and decides to have some fun. With the echo and a booming voice he proclaims "your prayers will answered", but the nun doesnt even flinch. He tries again "my child, your sins are forgiven", and again no response from the nun. Thinking she might be deaf, he tries one last time "I Jesus will lead you to salvation", upon which the nun firmly responds "shut up, I'm talking to your mother"
Do you know why Ohio State football is so good?
Urban Meyer doesnt have a problem with his team beating everybody.
A woman opens up a stand near the train station selling apples for 1$
Each day, the same man walks over to the stand, leaves a 1$, but doesnt take any apples. This went on for an entire year, until one day, the man left a dollar and was about to leave but the woman grabbed him by the hand. The man says: "I see you are finally interested why I keep leaving a dollar but not buying any apples well-" The woman cuts him off: "No I am not the least bit interested, apples now cost 2$ instead of one".
People think a clock has 3 hands, it doesnt.
People say there are 3 hands but the 3rd hand is just the second hand.
Chuck Norris doesnt sleep.
He waits.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to get big d**...?
Google doesnt work why?
Why doesnt google search what i want?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
ALLERGY
After 2 months of dating, i asked my girlfriend why she doesnt go down on me. she told me she had a nut allergy
What is similar to a boomerang that doesnt come back?
My Dad.
Why doesnt McDonalds sell filet mignon?
It would be a huge McSteak
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A good girl doesnt kiss until the third date...
Sure makes for awkward s**... on the first two
If Michael Jackson saw his mom kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe...
...maybe that explains why he doesnt exist anymore after he told Joe Jackson.
My GF is in the hospital for anorexia. There is a chance she might not recover and she doesnt care because she thinks she looks perfect.
What a waist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats black and doesnt work?
Decaffeinated coffee, you racist
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Donald Trump doesnt drink alcohol
unless a russian h**... drank it first
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What doesnt kill you makes you strong
Tell that to 37 million people with h**...
A little boy called Harry hangs out at the local shop.
The shop owner doesnt know why, but the other boys tease him. They say hes slow and to prove it they always give him the choice between a 5$ note and a 1$ note. He always takes the 1$ note because he likes the look more. The owner asks him one day why he always takes the 1$ to which he simply responds: If i took the 5$ one they would stop doing it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife doesnt like me greeting people at a f**...
Good mourning.
How does a robot identify?
It doesnt its non-binary...well technically it is but...nevermind
