Documents Jokes
45 documents jokes and hilarious documents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about documents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Documents Short Jokes
Short documents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The documents humour may include short paper jokes also.
- "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk
- I just checked my documents on my laptop to find they are all gone Who let the docx. out?
(This is my friend's joke) - JFK Assassination Document Release From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
- I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume.
- Trump says he could declassify documents by just thinking about it. So…how do we know this proves it never happened? Because he never thinks about anything but himself.
- After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide CHECK CZECH CHEQUES
- Why can't the scanned document go 50 feet near a school? Because it's a registered PDF file.
- Newly leaked documents from the Whitehouse show the results of Donald Trumps IQ test. It came back negative.
- My son's teacher keeps sending these weird looking documents I better have a word with him, but he might be a PDF file
- Some day, I'm going to catch whoever's been highlighting all of my documents Mark my words
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Documents One Liners
Which documents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with documents? I can suggest the ones about memo and record.
- Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio. On the moon.
- Why did the adobe acrobat document go to jail? Because it was a pdf file.
- What document is guaranteed to only contain the truth? Fax
- Why was the document arrested? Because he was a PDF-file
- Why did the chicken cross the road with a secret document? Who needs to know?
- What do you call a package of documents sent via boat? Pier to pier file transfer!
- What do you call a house elf that edits documents? A-Dobby.
(Adobe) - What is a Word documents least favorite blood type? Type-O
- I was burgled last night, someone stole all my documents. I was de-filed.
- How can California secede from the Us without any documents or agreements? Earthquakes
- There will be no documentation of the 1990's... ...Because only 90's kids will remember
- What's the worst document you can be? A PDF file.
- What's a pirate's favorite legal document? A seas and desist!
- What do you call a word document filled with HRC's emails? A corrupted file.
- What animals are on legal documents? Seals!!!!
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Documents Jokes
What funny jokes about documents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean books jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make documents pranks.
Why did Soviet policemen always walk around in groups of three?
One could read, and was needed to read ID documents in case of an arrest.
One could write, and was needed to write down the names for punishment.
The third one was needed to keep an eye on these two dangerous intellectuals.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A police officer pulls a man over
"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.
"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.
The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."
"Sir, the police doesn't have b**....", the officer says.
There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.
How was your job interview yesterday?
Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...
The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
---
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
---
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
---
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"
Why the different branches of the military can't work together:
The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.
My attempt to translate an old Polish joke to English
> A policeman approaches a man drinking beer in park and asks him for his documents. Student hands him the documents and the policeman begins reading aloud:
> -ahh, I see we don't have a job.
> -no, we don't.
> -we're jerking around all day.
> -yes, we are.
> -Oh! We are students!
> -No, only I am.
Not 100% sure if I translated it well, improvements welcome:
Ooops
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
I didn't see the end of that one coming....Bwaahaa!
The other day a Cop pulled me over...
After asking for my documentation he said, "your eyes seem a bit red, have you been doing drugs?" To which I replied, "well now sir your eyes seem a bit glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
We both laughed and laughed some more!
I need bail money!
A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time.
A news crew is there to document the story. The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past. "Let me get this right," he says. "Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?" She smirked and said "It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A colleague offered to document my workweek using Microsoft Excel, but I said h**... no.
I don't want anyone to spreadsheet about me.
Kurdish cunieform tablets
In ancient Kurdistan, they didn't have the material to make the cuneiform tablets they did down by the rivers in the Fertile Crescent, so they had to carve important documents into stone tablets.
That included contracts and treaties. There could be multiple signatories. For an invoice, for instance, it was possible to bill two Kurds with one stone.
Nautilus
Two succesful marine biologists come back from their recent expedition, near the seas of Indonesia.
Biologist 1: You won't believe our results. We documented so many different types of fish, including a lot of nautiluses.
Biologist 2: It's not a lie.
A man who made tie-dyed shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his business.
While filling out the documents, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of dye all over his paperwork. The poor man dyed a loan.
