Documents Jokes

45 documents jokes and hilarious documents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about documents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Documents Short Jokes

Short documents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The documents humour may include short paper jokes also.

  1. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk
  2. I just checked my documents on my laptop to find they are all gone Who let the docx. out?
    (This is my friend's joke)
  3. JFK Assassination Document Release From what I hear, they reveal some pretty mind-blowing information
  4. I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume.
  5. Trump says he could declassify documents by just thinking about it. So…how do we know this proves it never happened? Because he never thinks about anything but himself.
  6. After a flood of forged financial documents from a small eastern european country, an urgent warning was issued by banks worldwide CHECK CZECH CHEQUES
  7. My grandpa asked me how to print a document on his new computer. I said, Control, P.
    He replied: "I haven't been able to do that for years!"
  8. Why can't the scanned document go 50 feet near a school? Because it's a registered PDF file.
  9. Newly leaked documents from the Whitehouse show the results of Donald Trumps IQ test. It came back negative.
  10. What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of full moons and copies all the documents for the captain? Lycan sub scribe

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Documents One Liners

Which documents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with documents? I can suggest the ones about files and notes.

  1. Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio. On the moon.
  2. Why did the adobe acrobat document go to jail? Because it was a pdf file.
  3. What document is guaranteed to only contain the truth? Fax
  4. Why was the document arrested? Because he was a PDF-file
  5. Why was the Adobe Acrobat document arrested? It was a PDF file.
  6. Where does Chewbacca go to get confidential documents about his enemies? Wookieeleaks.
  7. Why did the chicken cross the road with a secret document? Who needs to know?
  8. What do you call a package of documents sent via boat? Pier to pier file transfer!
  9. What do you call a house elf that edits documents? A-Dobby.
  10. Why couldn't the incontinent man print his documents? He couldn't Ctrl+P
  11. What is a Word documents least favorite blood type? Type-O
  12. I was burgled last night, someone stole all my documents. I was de-filed.
  13. How can California secede from the Us without any documents or agreements? Earthquakes
  14. There will be no documentation of the 1990's... ...Because only 90's kids will remember
  15. What's the worst document you can be? A PDF file.

Documents joke, What's the worst document you can be?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Documents Jokes

What funny jokes about documents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean memo jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make documents pranks.

Why did Soviet policemen always walk around in groups of three?

One could read, and was needed to read ID documents in case of an arrest.
One could write, and was needed to write down the names for punishment.
The third one was needed to keep an eye on these two dangerous intellectuals.

A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.
"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.
The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."
"Sir, the police doesn't have b**....", the officer says.
There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??

A german man goes to Poland. Crossing the border, the guard asks reviews his documents.

Pole: Name?
German: Hans Guttermark
Pole: Age?
German: Neunundzwanzig.
Pole: Occupation?
German: *smiles* Nein, just visiting!

An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...

The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"

Why the different branches of the military can't work together:

The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.

My attempt to translate an old Polish joke to English

> A policeman approaches a man drinking beer in park and asks him for his documents. Student hands him the documents and the policeman begins reading aloud:
> -ahh, I see we don't have a job.
> -no, we don't.
> -we're jerking around all day.
> -yes, we are.
> -Oh! We are students!
> -No, only I am.
Not 100% sure if I translated it well, improvements welcome:

A 50-year-old lawyer who had been practicing law since he was 25 died suddenly in his sleep.

When he gets to the Pearly Gates, the lawyer says, "There must be some mistake. I was 50, that's too young to die."
St. Peter looks in his records and says, "That's odd. By adding up the hours on your billing documents, you should be 83 by now."


A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
I didn't see the end of that one coming....Bwaahaa!

The other day a Cop pulled me over...

After asking for my documentation he said, "your eyes seem a bit red, have you been doing drugs?" To which I replied, "well now sir your eyes seem a bit glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
We both laughed and laughed some more!
I need bail money!

A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time.

A news crew is there to document the story. The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past. "Let me get this right," he says. "Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?" She smirked and said "It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."

A colleague offered to document my workweek using Microsoft Excel, but I said h**... no.

I don't want anyone to spreadsheet about me.

Kurdish cunieform tablets

In ancient Kurdistan, they didn't have the material to make the cuneiform tablets they did down by the rivers in the Fertile Crescent, so they had to carve important documents into stone tablets.
That included contracts and treaties. There could be multiple signatories. For an invoice, for instance, it was possible to bill two Kurds with one stone.

Documents joke, What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of