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Doctors Visit Jokes

113 doctors visit jokes and hilarious doctors visit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doctors visit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Doctors Visit Short Jokes

Short doctors visit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doctors visit humour may include short doctor visit jokes also.

  1. A teenage girl went to visit the doctor for her cough complaint. The doctor examined her with his stethoscope. 'Big breaths' he said. 'Yeah, and I am only thixteen' she replied.
  2. Did you hear about the cannibal who visited the ICU ward? His doctor told him to eat more vegetables.
  3. I told my doctor that I've broken my arm in 2 places. He suggested that I shouldn't visit these 2 places again.
  4. Visited my doctor today He said I was a paranoid schizophrenic..
    Well.. he didn't actually say it.. but WE KNEW he was thinking it.
  5. While in Soviet Russia, I went to visit a doctor. "What happened to you?" He said.
    "Migraine" i replied.
    He bent forward, push upped his glasses and said, "Correction. Ourgrain."
  6. Doctor Visit After my Prostate Exam, the doctor left. When the nurse came in as she shut the door, she whispered three words no man wants to hear:
    Who was that?"
  7. At the doctor "Doctor, I have suicidal thoughts what should I do?"
    "First you should pay your visit."
  8. Colorblind I went to visit the doctor and he told me I was colorblind. The news came out of the purple.
  9. I visited the doctor today and he said my sugar was too high So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf
  10. My doctor told me he doesn't want to work anymore and we'll have to cancel my next visit. I got disappointed.

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Doctors Visit One Liners

Which doctors visit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doctors visit? I can suggest the ones about doctors day and doctors nurses.

  1. My doctor cancelled my visit today. I was Disappointed.
  2. Why did the cookie visit the doctor's office? because he was feeling a little crummy!
  3. What state do doctors visit most? Prostate
  4. Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit?
    A: A Ducktor.
  5. What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back? A Chiroptopracter.
  6. A poacher visits his doctor who asks
  7. Why did the French man visit the doctor? Because his Eifel with tears.
  8. s**... with me is like a visit to the doctor's office. I'll be in shortly.

Doctors Visit joke, s**... with me is like a visit to the doctor's office.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Doctors Visit Jokes

What funny jokes about doctors visit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doctors visit pranks.

A chinese couple, new parents, visit their doctor. "We're a little concerned about our son", the mother says...

..."He looks, well, caucasian!". The doctor has a look and agrees. " I see what you mean. Two wongs don't make a white". The parents nod. "By the way, what's his name?". The doctor asks. The father replies "Sum Ting Wong".

A man goes to visit the doctor

Man: Did the test results come back?
Doc: Yes, and the prognosis isn't good.
Man: Well how long do I have?
Doc: About 10.
Man: 10 what? Years? Months?
Doc: 8... 7....

What does Moses have in common with a h**... who visited her doctor?

Both took two tablets after discovering a burning bush.

Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.

A Pakistani living in England (offensive)

A pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."

A man visits the doctor...

...who says to him "*Okay, Sir, I think you're going to have to stop m**..."*
*"But why, Doc?*" the man replies.
"*Because this is the waiting room*".

A question for your doctor

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Blonde at the doctor's office

A gorgeous blonde pays a visit to a gynecologist. She undresses and lays down waiting for the doc. The doc enters the room and he's mesmerized by her beauty, totally loses his mind, and soon, starts having s**... with her.
She's quiet and not responsive, and the doc asks: You do realize what I'm doing, right?
She says: Of course, taking out my h**....

A young lady, pregnant for the first time, visits her doctor for a check-up

After the exam, she says to the doctor, "My husband wants me to ask you..."
The doctor cuts her off and says, "I know, I know - it's normal. You can have s**... until your third trimester."
The lady says, "No, that's not it. He wants to know how much longer can I can keep mowing the lawn."

An old man at the doctors office...

His daughter took him to a doctor for a check up. During the check up - the doctor asks the old man about his visits to the toilet at night, and he replies: "I wake up, walk to the bathroom and God turns on the light for me". Confused, the doctor finishes his procedure and tells the old mans daughter about the whole "God-light" thing. To which she replies: "Oh no! He's been using the fridge again!"

A man visits his doctor...

and asks him how to improve his s**... performance because he has a date with his girlfriend the next day. The doctor suggests m**... a couple of hours before a s**... encounter.
After leaving the doctor's office, he decides he needs to find a window of time to do the deed. He can't risk doing it at work for fear of being fired, and he can't do it at home because he is meeting his girlfriend at a nice restaurant and won't have time to stop. After a little more thinking, he devises a brilliant plan: he will pretend he is fixing the underside of his car and do it there so no one can see him.
The next day, the man leaves work and heads to the restaurant. He pulls over to the side of the busy highway, discreetly slides under his car, closes his eyes and begins furiously slapping the salami. Some time goes by when another car pulls up behind him. A police officer steps out and says, "Excuse me sir, can I ask what you're doing there?"
"Oh, I'm just fixing my axles." The man replies.
The officer responds, "Well you might want to fix your brakes too, because your car rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

5 p**...

A man visits his doctor and tells him,
"You've got to help me doc. I've got 5 p**...!"
To which the doctor replies,
"5 p**...! How do your pants fit?"
"Like a glove!"

A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor....

A man with a stutter is visiting the doctor.
"How's the stutter?", asks the doctor.
"It's g-getting better. My mate calls me D-Donkey," replies the man.
"Any idea why?" The doctor asks.
"No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that."

A man visits the doctor

and then he meets a friend.
Friend: Whatsup, where you been?
Man: Ive visited the doctor
Friend: What did he say?
Man: 200 Dollars
Friend: Yeah, but what do you have
Man: I have 50 dollars
Friend: I Mean whats the problem?
Man: 150 dollars
I m not sure if it makes any sense in English, but i tried

A woman visits her hypnotherapist

A weeping woman visits her hypnotherapist and laments, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and slept with another man... The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"
To which the hypnotherapist replies, "Jesus Christ, not again!"

A shrinking man visits his doctor yelling, "Doctor! Doctor! I'm getting smaller and smaller and smaller!!!"

His Doctor replies, "Now now, I can't fix things right away, you'll just have to be a little patient."

There was a business man that used to travel a lot

But every time he went to the airport, he got sick right away.
When he visited his doctor, the doc said "Its nothing serious. You're just terminally ill".

I have a good news and a bad news.

A patient visits his doctor.
Doc: "I have a good news and a bad news."
Patient: "What's the good news?"
Doc: "You have 24 hours to live."
Patient: "WHAT THE h**...'S THE BAD NEWS!??!"
Doc: "I forgot to tell you yesterday"

Psych visit

A guys shows up at a psychiatrist's office n**..., wrapped in celophane. The doctor says, "I can clearly see you're nuts".

A woman is visiting her doctor.

The doctor is monitoring her heartbeat with a stethoscope.
Woman: (*jokingly*) Tell me doctor, how much time do I have left?
Doctor: Ten
Woman: Ten what?
Doctor: Nine...

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.

The VA Doctors don't appreciate the nurses there. (Overheard this great joke while visiting Grandpa)

What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet?
* A bullet can draw blood
* A bullet can be fired
* A bullet can only kill one person

A Blonde Visits a Doctor

One day, a blonde goes to a doctor. She told the doctor, "Doctor, my son has dandruff, what do I do?" The doctor replied, "Give him Head and Shoulders." So the next day, the blonde comes back and asks, "Doctor, how do I give him shoulders?"

A man visit's a Psychologist

Man: Doctor, you've got to help me! I'm afraid of backstories.
Psychologist: When did this all start?
Man: Well- AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop m**.... I asked him why, because surely it's not dangerous.

He said it was distracting him.

A man visits his doctor...

and says "Doc, you gotta help me. I have a terrible case of flatulence. Fortunately it's completely silent and there's no smell, but I haven't stopped passing gas for two days ! Can you help me ? "
Doc says "Yes, but first we need to check your hearing and your sinuses."
[ok, I'm walking off, no need to throw stuff.]

"Silent farts that don't stink..."

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.
"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"
The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.
Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.
"Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!"
Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."

A doctor was visiting a patient

She asked him 'doctor am I going to die?'
Out of pity the doctor told her the truth, 'we are all dying slowly, some just faster than others.'
The patient said, 'how fast am I dying.'
The doctor leaned over and said 'you are the usain bolt of dying.'

A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

A guy visits a doctor's office

Guy: "Doctor, I can't stop singing 'What's New, p**...'. You have to help me."
Doctor: "Hmmm, it sounds like you have 'Tom Jones syndrome'."
Guy: "Is it common?"
Doctor: "It's not unusual."

At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6?

He believes he's a wolf.
-
Doctor: Whatever you do, don't let his grandmother visit!

On the topic of good and bad news from the doctor...

Doctor: I've got good news and bad news for you!
Patient: So whats the good news?
Doctor: You won't have to pay anything for this visit!
Patient, confused: And the bad news?
Doctor: Well, we issue our bills quarterly, you'll be long dead by then.

A patient collapses minutes after visiting the doctor

Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor! The man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'

A woman visits the gynaecologist for the first time...

Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very uncomfortable. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"
She looks relieved and says "Yes, please."
So, the doctor puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.

Brad Pitt visits his doctor. "Hey Doc, you ever see me in that movie Seven with Morgurt Freeman?"

"Uh do you mean Morgan?"
"Oh yeah, sorry Doc. Morgurt Morgan".

Doctor's visit

Doctor: It's bad news, Jim.
Jim: What is it, doc?
Doctor: You have to stop m**....
Jim: Oh god...why?
Doctor: Because I'm talking to you.

A girl visits the Doctor.

The Doctor says "Big Breaths", to which the girl replies "yeth and I'm only thixteen!"

His cousin

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.

An old woman is visiting the doctor

"Where exactly in the body is the heart?" she asks.
"About 2 cm under the n**...." the doctor answers.
Headline of the newspaper on the next day:
"Woman tried to commit s**.... Shot herself in the knee instead."

A mother finds out she has cancer

A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."

Doctor, my son thinks he's a chicken.

A man visits a psychiatrist, saying, Doctor, my son thinks he's a chicken. The psychiatrist suggests that the boy be sent to an institution. We'd like to do that, says the man, but we need the eggs.

A guy visits his psychiatrist

"Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

An old lady visits her doctor...

...and says to him:
"Doctor, I have a problem. I keep f**... all day long, luckily they don't smell and are dead silent, can you do something to make it stop?"
"Take these pills and come back after a week for a checkup."
One week later she comes by and says:
"Doctor! Not only didn't the f**... stop, but now they are smelly as a landfill!"
The doctor replies:
"Calm down, miss. I cured your sense of smell, now to do something about that hearing."

A Second Opinion

Lenny tells the psychiatrist, Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.
Come to me three times a week for two years, and I'll cure your fears, says the shrink. And I'll charge you only $200 a visit.
Lenny says he'll think about it. Six months later, he runs into the doctor, who asks why he never came back. For $200 a visit? says Lenny. A bartender cured me for $10.
Is that so! How?
He told me to cut the legs off the bed.

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."

A patient visits his doctor to receive his test results.

The doctor tells his patient: "I have bad news and worse news, John."
"Oh dear," John replies. "What's the bad news?"
"You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible.... How can the news possibly be worse?"
"Your phone was off yesterday"

The doctor gave me a Rorschach test and asked, "what do you see?"

I answered, "I see an old, sad, overworked man, tired of doing the same thing over and over, only visited when others need something from him, and never being appreciated enough".
"I appreciate your honesty", said the doctor, "but I meant, what do you see *on the picture*?

A Chinese man visits the doctor

His hands are covered in severe burns from a cooking accident.
The man says, "I know it's bad, doctor, but how bad is it?"
The doctor replies, "I'm afraid you'll never wok again."

There was a man who swore he was getting smaller.

Everyday, his height decreases by an inch. Alarmed, he visits the doctor immediately, and asks the secretary to squeeze him in.
"Surely, sir. The doctor will be here any minute. You just have to sit down and be a little patient."

Dr visits an Indian Tribe

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your s**... tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s**... with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

A depressed old woman decides it's time to end it all..

so she purchases a p**... and decides she is going to shoot herself in the heart. However, wanting to make sure that death is quick, she visits her doctor to inquire the exact location of the heart. Her doctor informs her that the heart is located just under the left breast, after which she thanks him and returns home.
Later that evening the old woman is rushed to the emergency room with a gunshot to the left knee.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some strange symptoms and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope your husband likes changing diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

A 90 Year Old gentleman visits the doctor's office and says

**"Doc, I want to live another 20 years"**
The Doctor asks:
*"Do you drink?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you smoke?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you do any drugs?"*
**"No"**
*"Do you chase women?"*
**"No"**
*"Then why do you want to live another 20 years?!"*

A Corpulent Woman visits the Doctor

Woman: Hey Doc, everytime I walk up the stairs my back hurts and my heart beats like crazy.
Doc: I imagined something like that right when you walked in here. You're morbidly obese.
Woman: That's outrageous. I want a second opinion!
Doc: Alrigt, you're also pretty ugly.

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.

He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
Which knee is hurting you, Walt?
The famous film producer points to his left knee.
Disney.

A r**... suffered a n**... fall...

So he visited a physician and sought treatment.
Apply this ointment to the area where injury was sustained, the doctor said.
The r**... happily left the clinic and proceeded to liberally apply ointment on the sidewalk where he fell.

A woman visited her doctor for her annual exam. The doctor asked, Are you and your husband s**... active? Yes, we have verbal s**... everyday. the woman answered. Verbal s**...? I think you mean o**... s**...! the doctor laughed. No, I mean verbal s**.... the woman persisted.

Every morning my husband and I pass each other in the hall and say, 'Fuck you!'"

A man visits a hotel in Spain and injures himself in the room.

So he calls the front desk and asks them to find him a doctor.
"you're in luck, sir! We have a doctor that lives in this very hotel."
They send the doctor up. After tending to the man's injuries the man remarks:
"Wow! I never would have thought this hotel would have its own doctor."
"Well you see," says the doctor "no one expects the Spanish in-physician"

A politicians promise

A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.

A man visits a doctor one day.

Man- Doctor,it hurts when i put one leg up, then put it down, then put the other leg up and then put that leg down.
Doctor-Have you tried not doing that?
Man- So i shouldnt try wearing an underwear then?

We went to visit my brother in hospital because he had crashed his motorbike into a tree and impaled himself onto a tree branch i asked the doctor "How is he?"...

The doctor said "He's not out of the woods yet"....

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"

He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"

A politician visited a village in India..

A politician visited an Indian village and asked what their needs were.
We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager.
Firstly, we have a hospital, but there's no doctor.
On hearing this, the politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in the village.

A big city doctor visits an Native American tribe full of men and he asks "How do you guys relieve your s**... tension?

"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not knowing what to do stands cluelessly until a tribesman explains to him: " Use the donkey".
The doctor: " what?"
"Yes use it, mount it"
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s**... with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc? We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

A big city doctor visits an indigenous tribe of only men,

He asks "How do you guys relieve your s**... tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
The leader of the tribe says "Since you're our guest you get to go first.".
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have s**... with the donkey.
15 min pass, then one of the tribeman in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

A politician visited a small remote rural town and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.

"We have two big needs," said the Town Mayor. "First, we have a clinic but no doctors."
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, "I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?"
"We have no cell phone reception at all in our town.

You are obese!

A woman visits the doctor
Doctor: Madame, you are obese.
Woman: What?? I demand a second opinion!
Doctor: Your hair looks s**....

The Mandalorian visited the Dr

The Mandalorian visited the Dr and they got into an argument because Mando wouldn't take his armor off when he got on the scale. He pointed to the scale and said, "this is the weight." The know it all doctor pointed to the armor and said, "no this is the weight." The nurse was called to show Mando the way to the room so he could cool off. Mando asked how long it would take, she said they were behind today and if could be a while, and before he got angry again she looked him dead in the mask, and pointedly said, "this is the wait! I have spoken."

Young couple at doctors office

Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,
"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need to know if there is some medical problem."
Doctor sat back on his chair crossed his hands and sighed,
"You boys are nuts."

Was all excited last night when my wife told me that she wanted us to role play as doctor and patient.

But then she told me that visiting hours are over and asked me to get out of the bedroom immediately.
She indeed is a genius...

Politicians these days.

A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them.
We have two big needs, said the village headman. First, we have a hospital but no doctor.
The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?
We have no cellphone reception at all in our village.

My Asian eye doctor

Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."
"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."

Doctors Visit joke, My Asian eye doctor

jokes about doctors visit