Doctor Strange Jokes
59 doctor strange jokes and hilarious doctor strange puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doctor strange that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Doctor Strange Short Jokes
Short doctor strange jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doctor strange humour may include short dr strange jokes also.
- It's pretty strange, doctors are now prescribing cannabis for arthritis sufferers... I mean, the definition of arthritis is "inflammation of the joints"
- I took a Marvel version of those "which character are you?" quiz. I thought I would get Doctor Strange. I was wong
- A pirate goes to the doctor.. 'Thar be strange moles me back'
Doctors has a look.
'They're benign'
'Check again matey,I counted 10' - You shouldn't worry about headaches I mean, it's all in your head.
- In these strange times, the doctors forced me to wear glasses while I was giving birth to my son. They insisted on contactless delivery.
- Went to my doctor today for a check up and afterwards he told me my prostate was in peak physical condition.... I thought it was a strange thing for a dermatologist to say but hey good to know
- So, doctor strange walks into a bar and... Walks into a bar and...
Walks into a bar and...
Walks into a bar... - [NO SPOILERS] What do you call Doctor Strange's assistant in an elevator? Wong on so many levels.
- It's strange that Bill Cosby wasnt given a honorary doctorate untill 1976. Because apparently he's been administering drugs since the 60s
- Why can't an IT guy be a doctor? Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange.
.
.
Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
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Doctor Strange One Liners
Which doctor strange one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doctor strange? I can suggest the ones about dr who and doctor lawyer.
- What is Doctor Strange's favorite pizza? Sorcerer's Supreme
It's cheesy, I know. - What is Doctor Strange's favourite food? Eggs Benedict
- Why did doctor strange cross the road? The wind blew him far…
- Who would Doctor Strange be if he gave up earlier? Master Strange.
- The new Doctor Strange trailer just dropped... It's Mind Bendingdict ^^^Cumberbatch.
- What did the doctor say to the strange beer that walked into his clinic? What ails you?
- I've had so many one night stands They call me Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about doctor strange you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean doctor specialist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doctor strange pranks.
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup.
While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup.
While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during s**...."
The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup.
This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?"
The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
Anticipation (may be offensive)
A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."
Two with sausage and meatballs, two without
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
A teen boy wants to borrow the car, so he opens his parents' bedroom door to ask.
He sees his dad wearing only chaps and a cowboy hat, on top of his mother, who has a feathered headdress and an indian s**... outfit on. He quickly shuts their door and disappears.
The parents decided to finish what they were doing, but a few minutes later, the wife asks the dad to go talk to their son about the costumes and about walking into their bedroom without knocking.
The dad is walking down the hall toward his son's room, but hears strange noises coming from grandma's room. He opens the door, and sees his son wearing doctors' scrubs, but with his pants down - doing grandma from behind.
The dad yells out, "Jason! What are you doing?!"
The son says, "See dad - it's not so funny when it's your mother!"
An older man goes to see his doctor...
...for a physical. The doctor tells the man the results are fine and asks him how he is doing.
"I feel great!" he replied, "God and I have made a really strong connection lately."
The doctor find this a little odd, but is respectful and asks "How so?"
The man says "Well, when I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, God turns on the light for me. And when I'm done, he turns it off again."
Now the doctor is curious as to what the man is talking about. He sends him on his way and calls the man's wife.
"Hello ma'am this is your husbands doctor. His checkup was fine, however he said something strange about God turning the light on when he gets up to pee in the night, and turning it off again when he's done."
The wife sighs and says, "d**... he's peeing in the fridge again."
A Gynecologist walks into an exam room
Gynecologist walks into an exam room. The woman on the exam table shows the doctor two strange green dots, one on each inner thigh. Puzzled at first, the doctor examines them more closely. He then asks the woman "Would you happen to be a lesbian?" The woman answers "Why, yes, but I don't see what that has to do with these dots!" The doctor replied.. "Tell your girlfriend to get some REAL gold earrings!"
Project: Reimagined
There once was a secret government program that tried to create perfect soldiers through genetic modification, cloning, and strenuous conditioning.
What they wanted to achieve was the normal super soldier run down:
- Super strong
- Super fast
- Super smart
- Super obedient
They started out by impregnating 10 women with the altered embryos. For the sake of confidentiality the clones were numbered instead of named, 1-10.
The modifications seemed to work in some of the clones, but it caused some strange side effects in the other ones, not all of them survived childhood.
The first to go was 8. She wasn't told to eat, so she starved.
Then it was 2 and 10. 2 had become dangerously aggressive and attacked 10, who fought back just well enough.
Next went 4 to some disconnect in her nervous system.
Then 1, when she tried to escape after a mental break down.
3 and 5 committed s**....
The project was terminated after an incident where 9 went missing. In the file there was what seemed to be a transcript from an interview of 6, the terrified clone who witnessed it.
"Dr: Where has 9 gone? Has she told you her plan after she escaped.
6: 9 didn't escape.
Dr: What are you talking about? The whole base has been searched! 9 is nowhere to be found! Where is 9?
6: You aren't listening! 9 didn't escape, 7 killed her!
Dr: What? How? How did she kill her and then get rid of the body?
6: Isn't it obvious Doctor? 7 ate 9."
So, a mother takes her daughter to a doctor...
A mother and her daughter came to the doctor's office. The mother asked the
doctor to examine her daughter. "She has been having some strange symptoms and
I'm worried about her," the mother said.
The doctor examined the daughter carefully. Then he announced, "Madam, I
believe your daughter is pregnant."
The mother gasped. "That's nonsense!" she said. "Why, my little girl has never
even been out with a man, let alone... let alone..." She turns to the girl and
said, "Tell the doctor, Susie!"
"Yes, Mumsy," said the girl. "Doctor, I have never so much as kissed a man!"
The doctor looked from the mother to daughter, and back again. Then, silently
he stood up and walked to the window. He stared out. He continued staring
until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something wrong out
there?"
"No, Madam," said the doctor. "It's just that the last time anything like this
happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if another one
was going to show up."
A man goes to the doctor ...
... and says "Doctor, I'm having a really strange problem. I can't get the song *What's New, p**...* out of my head.
Doctor says, "Well, it sounds like you may have Tom Jones' Disease."
The man opens his eyes wide. "I never heard of that before," he said. "Is it rare?"
Doctor shakes his head. "It's not unusual."
George went for his annual physical.
He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"
A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."
Thelma exclaimed, "That fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"
A University professor goes to his German doctor about a strange mole...
"Ich bin ein doctor."
A pirate goes to the doctor
A doctor walks into his exam room and is greeted with a strange sight: a pirate captain with a ships steering wheel protruding from his waistline. The doctor says "Well, I'm not sure what you came in here for, but I think we should start by addressing the steering wheel down your pants."
The pirate nods fervently, and says "Yarr, it's been drivin' me nuts!"
A doctor has three patients lined up for breast exams...
The first comes in and takes her shirt off. The doctor sees a red letter "H" on her chest and asks what it is. She tells him "My boyfriend goes to Harvard and is so proud he keeps his sweatshirt on during s**... and the ink runs."
The next woman enters and disrobes, and there is a blue "Y" on her body. The doctor asks and she tells him how her boyfriend goes to Yale and is so proud he won't take his sweatshirt off, even during s**..., and the sweat caused a stain.
His last patient comes in, and she has a red "M" on her chest. The doctor thinks this new phenomenon is strange, but he knows a pattern when he sees it. He says to her, "Let me guess, you have a boyfriend that goes to Maryland, right?" "No," she replies, "I have a girlfriend that goes to Wisconsin, why?"
So we're telling our grandfathers jokes? Alright then.
My grandfather was a doctor, so he had some fun ones. This was one of his favorite:
A boy was born mostly healthy, but with a strange mutation that left him with no left eyelid. The doctors were a bit stunned at first, but called in a plastic surgeon to consult. They needed to figure out a way to protect and keep the eye moist, but how?
Finally the surgeon proposed an unorthodox idea: he suggested that if they circumcised the boy, they could fashion the f**... into a serviceable eyelid.
The parents consented, and off they went to surgery. Two hours later, the plastic surgeon appeared, looking tired but fairly content.
"How did it go?" the parents asked with concern.
The surgeon replied, "Well, he's a bit cockeyed, but I don't think anyone will notice."
I was getting a prostate exam the other day...
The strange thing is, during the exam the doctor had both of his hands on my shoulders.
A nurse is making her rounds through the halls of a hospital with a r**... thermometer tucked behind her ear...
As she goes to each room she gets plenty of strange looks from each of the patients, but none of them say anything. She finally walks past a doctor in the hall who stops her and asks "what's that you've got behind your ear?" she pulls it out and looks at in surprise, then exclaims "d**...! Some a**...'s got my pencil!"
Guy has a bad eye pain
Guy has a bad eye pain, he goes to the doctor and explains the strange pain he gets in his eye everytime he drinks coffe. Sometimes his left others times his right eye.
The doctor finds nothing worng, he suggests an excercise where he will have coffee and all the extras in his office , then he will then come in and make his coffee like usual so the doctor can see what is happening.
After the excercise the doctor says he knew exactly what is wrong. The guy says, what!? What is it?!
The doctor says, you should take the spoon out of your coffee before you drink it.
My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist...
I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer.
Dr. Strange comes out tomorrow
And I'm scheduled to work the same day. I'm really considering calling in sick. I'm just gonna tell my boss that I have to go see the doctor.
Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...
I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.
Wife is in hospital with unknown condition
So she asks her husband to go to her doctor and find out how bad is it.
'Well, her condition is very strange. Basically, you'll have to have s**... with her at least once a day or she will die' doctor sais.
Husband nods and goes back to his wife.
'Honey, what did the doctor say? ' wife is anxious to find out.
'He said you're going to die soon'...
So, I've been having really strange dreams about building small houses in Spain recently...
My doctor thinks I'm developing a complex!
A guy goes to the doctor and tells him "Lately I've been dreaming of squirrels playing soccer!"
the doctor says "No problem, take these pills before bed, and it will keep you from having strange dreams."
The guy says "Sounds great, but can i start tomorrow night, tonight are the finals!"
Migraines
Patient: I get migraines from heavy snow.
Doctor: Strange! Most people get their grains from large farms.
This guy comes in on Crutches to his Doctor.
This guy comes in on Crutches to his Doctor. The Doctor says, what's going on? The guy says, My leg really hurts. It's making funny noises too. He said Doc, Put your head down by my hip, and listen. The Doc hears "Got 5 bucks you can give me?" The Doctor said strange. Then the guy says, Listen to my knee "Anything Helps" is what he heard there. Then the guy said, One more place, Right above my ankle. Listen to that. "I'm really down and out right now"
The guy says, Doc can you help me? The Doctor said, I'm not sure about the voices, but your Leg is Broke in three places.
You know the guy in Doctor Strange starring in that Christmas movie?
Oh yeah, Benedixby Comethegrinch.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some strange symptoms and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope your husband likes changing diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
A lady goes to the doctor...
The doctor uses a stethoscope to measure the heartbeat of the lady and immediately discovered something strange.
Doctor: I'm sorry to say this but it's fatal and you do not have long to live
Lady: How long?
Doctor: Ten
Lady: Ten? Ten what?!
Doctor: Nine...
A couple of nurses are working in a children's hospital when all of a sudden a mysterious figure appears.
He is in doctor's clothing, but strangely he starts healing all the kids with just a few words and a touch of his fingers. As the man, in scrubs and sandals, disappears again the nurses look at each other in disbelief, one says: 'Wow, do you think that was Jesus?' To which the other replies: 'I think so... I almost did not recognize him in that outfit, he normally wears white robes.'
TL;DR: He was blessing in diguise.
At the doctors office
I went to the doctors office due to a strange abdominal pain. My doctor adviced me to stop m**.... "Is it dangerous?" I asked. "No", said the doctor " but it disturbs my concentration".
A farmer passing by his neighbours barn saw a strange sight inside
The farmer peered inside the barn door and there was his neighbour dancing around and taking off his clothes in front of an old John Deere. He knocks on the barn door, walks in and asks him why he's stripping and dancing in his barn. The neighbour says that him and his wife have been having trouble in the bedroom lately and that he has been going to the doctor to seek help. Still puzzled the farmer asks how this will help to which his neighbour replied Well, after the Doctor and I had a good chat he seemed to think I need to do a better job of getting her in the mood so he suggested I start with doing something s**..., to a tractor.
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
Doctor's know...
"Doc, there's something strange going on, it's not normal."
Doctor asks "What do you mean?"
"Whenever I f**... it sounds like I'm saying 'Honda'."
Doctor says "Go see your dentist, you've got a cavity."
So he goes to the dentist, and sure enough he has a cavity. Dentist fills it and, just like that, his farts sound normal again!
He calls his doctor: "Doc, you were right! I had a cavity, and once it was filled my farts were normal again! But you gotta tell me, how did you know?"
"Doctors know that abscess makes the farts go Honda".
Doctor. I think I'm a moth
A man goes to see a surgeon and says,
Man: "Doctor, I think I am a moth."
Surgeon: "Very strange, but surely you need a psychiatrist, not a surgeon. Why did you come to me?"
Man: "Your light was on."
A guy goes to a psychiatrist to see about his strange dreaming...
"doctor I'm dreaming everynight about a soccer tournament for ants. It's on everynight. They went though a group stage, a knockout phase and its the only thing I'm dreaming about the last week, it's driving me nuts."
so the doctor says: "well, that's easy, just take this medicine before going to bed tonight and the dreams will be gone".
to which the guy replies: "no no no doctor, not tonight because it's the FINALS".