Doctor Specialist Jokes
16 doctor specialist jokes and hilarious doctor specialist puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doctor specialist that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Doctor Specialist Short Jokes
Short doctor specialist jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doctor specialist humour may include short medical doctor jokes also.
- Eyes Specialist Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door. - He got a referral from his doctor to a specialist Him: I was told you can help me with my anhidrosis
Doctor: That would be no sweat
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Doctor Specialist Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about doctor specialist you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean er doctor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doctor specialist pranks.
A old Jewish man goes to the doctors...
He says "Doctor I've got a huge problem."
The doctor says "What is it?"
He says "I keep getting these silent, smelly, gassy emissions I was with my wife and the Grossmans yesterday and it happened about 100 times during dinner and created a nauseous gas but it was silent so no one new who it was and then again on the bus this morning and even in your office now I must have had 20 of them, Do you have anyway to fix this problem doc?"
The doctor looks up and says "Well first off I'm going to send you to specialist."
The man interrupts him "What kind of specialist doc?"
"A hearing specialist!"
A man goes to a specialist
He's been to every doctor in his area, and none of them can figure out what's wrong with him. So eventually he goes to the preeminent specialist for what's bothering him to try to get a diagnosis. After several weeks of tests the doctor calls the man into his office and has him sit down.
"I have good news and bad new for you."
The man, happy to finally have *something* says, "Tell me the good news first."
The doctor says, "We're going to name it after you."
Went to an eye specialist because I couldn't read fluently
The doctor told me "Son, I have bad news for you and for what I see, you will have to deal with this condition since we don't have a cure for it" and proceded to hand me a paper with my results. I was extremely happy with it!
How can it be bad news having daylisex for life?
An old man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!
"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.
Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."
Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
Four doctors are sitting in a boat in the reeds, duck hunting.
The family practitioner spots a flock of fowl flying overhead, turns to the specialist and says: "I think those are ducks. I need a second opinion."
The specialist says: "I can schedule you in for a consult in two months."
The surgeon picks up his shotgun. BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!!! Three of the birds fall down into the water. He turns to the pathologist and says: "Run a test on them, will you, and see if they're ducks."
Mr Andrew went to see a doctor about a pain during walking problem.
Since foot was not the doctor's specialty, the doctor recommended him to visit a podiatrist few blocks away.
At the specialist clinic, the podiatrist was optimistic. He declared confidently, "I'll have you walking in an hour!".
Later Mr Andrew return to the doctor's clinic on foot. The doctor was shocked . "How did he cure you in an hour?" the doctor asked.
"The secret lies in the consultation," said Mr Andrew.
"I had to sell my car to pay for it"
Hearing Better Now
An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength.
After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was.
The hearing specialist said, It all seems perfect. Your family should be delighted you can hear everything now."
Oh no," the man responded. I haven't told any of them. I just sit quietly, listening carefully. I've changed my will four times."
My wife was pregnant with our third child...
My wife was pregnant with our third child. Long story short, we had been having some complications and had been seeing a special Ob/Gyn but everything seemed to be going fine. Except my wife went into labor just a little early by just a couple weeks. We called our doctor's office, and of course, our specialist was unavailable, so we got patched in to whatever B-Team doctor they had available that evening. He got on the phone and I told him we believed my wife was going into labor, and that we were a little concerned about how early it was.
He asked, "Is this her first child?"
I responded, "No, this is her husband."
A s**...-reassignment specialist is trying to simplify the names of surgical procedures...
He takes his nurse aside and explains "Lots of people come in here and get confused and intimidated by the medical jargon we use to explain the operations. From now on I want you to call male-to-female procedures "misterectomies".
The nurse is somewhat perturbed, but the specialist reassures her, saying all the doctors are doing it but they're still working out standardized names.
Just then a patient walks up looking a little embarrassed. The specialist asks her what's wrong, and she says she's been referred to him by another doctor for a procedure. The specialist guides her to a chair and asks her for clarification.
The woman blushes and stammers "I'm not sure if I'm saying this right, but I'm here for my addadictome."
________________________________________
(If you don't get it, try reading it out loud).
*edited for clarity*
A New Kind of Speech Therapy
So there is a twelve year old boy who has never uttered a sound. He just DOESN'T speak. His mother has spent a fortune on various doctors, but no success.
One day she meets an old friend who's child had a similar problem. She suggested a certain specialist who might be able to help, but she said "I have to warn you, his methods are a little frightening!".
The woman takes her son to this new doctor, and he gives the boy a complete physical examination. At one point the Doc asks the boy to drop his shorts, and close his eyes. The boy does so, and the doctor grabs the boys t**... and twists them.
The boy screams out "AAAAAAYYYY!!!"
The doctor says "Good. Tomorrow we work on B!".
[Dad joke] A man would experience severe pain in his eye every time he drank tea
He went to his doctor, who referred him to an eye specialist. They performed every test possible, but found nothing wrong with his eye. Since the pain was still persistent, he showed a number of specialists, had every test done on him, consulted quacks, and all to no result. He still felt excruciating pain whenever he had tea.
Finally, he decides to visit an old sage. The sage sits him down and pours him some tea. As soon as he takes a sip, he feels the pain again.
The sage sets his own cup on the table, and quietly says
"Next time you drink tea, remember to remove the spoon from the cup."
[This is my dad's favorite joke]
An immigrant couple are trying for a baby...
and not having any luck. After months of trying and failing to get pregnant the wife finally visits a fertility specialist. The doctor examines her and when he is finished he looks grave.
He says "I'm sorry to tell you this but you have an deficient eggs. If you have a baby it will be a miracle."
The woman is devastated. Her spirts low, she returns home to break the news to her husband.
When she arrives she tells him withe her thick accent "Ze doctor says I haffa de fish eggs, and if I have a baby its gonna be a mackerel"
Two different doctors
Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.
The FIRST patient is examined by his regular doctor within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.
The SECOND sees his regular doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.
Why the different treatment for the two patients?
The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.