The Best 35 Doctor Engineer Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Doctor Engineer jokes. There are some doctor engineer scientist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these doctor engineer doctor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Doctor Engineer Jokes and Puns

Isn't it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?

It's stupid. You don't hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.

I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers...

Like you don't see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

Don't you just hate it when med students call themselves doctors?

I mean you don't see engineering students calling themselves engineers or arts students calling themselves baristas

During the French Revolution a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer were facing execution on the guillotine.

The doctor was first, but the blade jammed and the doctor was set free due to Divine Intervention.

The lawyer was next, again the blade jammed, and was also set free.

As the engineer was being led to his doom, he glanced up at the blade and said Wait a minute! I think I see the problem…

A Doctor and engineer

A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
Doctor used to give her a rose daily
and engineer used to give the girl an apple.
Girl got confused and asked engineer : There is a meaning of giving rose in Love,
Why are you giving apple ?
Engineer answered : Because
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away".


An engineer said: When I was young I decided to go to medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets

P N E I S

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.

Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers.

Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store

Once a DOCTOR and an ENGINEER entered a chocolate store...

As they were busy looking around,
doctor stole 3 chocolate bars...

As they left the store, doctor said to Engineer :
"Man! I'm the best thief ever,
I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me. You can't beat that"

Engineer replied: "You wanna see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing"

So they went to the counter and Engineer said to the Shop boy:
"Do you wanna see magic..?"

The Shop boy replied: "Yes..!!!"

Engineer said: "Give me one chocolate bar!"

The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it...
He asked for the second, and he ate that as well..
He asked for the third, and finished that one too...

The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic..?"

Engineer replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find them..!!!"

I hate it when

I hate it when engineering students call themselves engineer.
I don't see medical students calling themselves doctor or history students calling themselves unemployed

Men get paid more than women because they choose high paying careers like doctor, engineer, and CEO

Women pick low paying careers like woman doctor, woman engineer, or woman CEO

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer

were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

An engineer, a doctor and a priest are playing golf

There is an old joke about an engineer, a priest, and a doctor enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. That's a group of blind firefighters, they are told. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse last year, so we let them play for free.

The priest says, I will say a prayer for them tonight.

The doctor says, Let me ask my ophthalmologist colleagues if anything can be done for them.

And the engineer says, Why can't they play at night?"

You can explore doctor engineer technician reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean doctor engineer remove appendix dad jokes. There are also doctor engineer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A gynecologist decides to make a career change...

He always loved cars, and because he made so much money, salary really didnt matter to him. He decides to become a mechanic. He approaches his local shop and inquires about a job. "You need to get certified first" says the head mechanic, "ill give you the test myself, in the shop."

The doctor studies day and night and finally feels ready for his practical exam.

He comes in and is asked to fix the transmission and engine of a beaten down, old car.

After the test, he is seated in the office and the head mechanic comes in.

"Congratulations doctor, you scored 150 out of 100 points"

"im confused" the doctor says, "how did i get 150 out of 100"

"well..." the mechanic says "you fixed the engine perfectly, so thats 50. You also fixed the transmission perfectly, for another 50"

"Great! But where did the last 50 come from?"

"I gave you a bonus. You did it all through the exhaust pipe"

Why do you make more money?

A heart surgeon takes his Cadillac to his mechanic to get his engine fixed. When he returns a few days after to pick up the car, the mechanic calls him over to show him something. He says, "Okay Doc, I've changed the seals out and fixed everything up but I have one question. The engine is to the car as the heart is to the body. Why is it that you make some much more money than me?"

The doctor examines the engine carefully and says, "try fixing it while the engine is running."

I hate it when engineering students call themselves "Engineer"

you don't see med students calling themselves doctor, or art students calling themselves unemployed.

A man walks into his doctor's office and says: My nose just keeps on running,

But that's not even the worst part about me either, doc. My feet smell an awful lot! Surely you must have a remedy for both.

The doctor replies: Well I'm sorry to tell you there's nothing I can do. It doesn't seem like you need a medical professional, but rather a bio-mechanical engineer!

After a confused look from the man the doctor explains: You've been built upside down.

I know the feeling...

An auto mechanic in the hospital was chatting nervously with his surgeon while being prepped for an operation. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone into your line of work," he told the doctor. "Everything you doctors do is so cut and dried and tidy. With me, I spend half a day taking an engine apart and putting it back together, and it seems like I always have a couple of parts left over."

"Yes," said the surgeon. "I know the feeling."

A doctor changes Careers.

A Gynecologist is tired of dealing with Insurance companies and decides to become an auto mechanic. He studies hard, and for the final, he needs to diagnose and rebuild an engine. He need an 80 to pass an become a certified Mechanic.

He takes test, and waits for his score.

He gets a 150 out 100. He calls the instructor to find out why he scored it that way.

The instructor says " Well you got 50 points for Diagnosing the issue correctly, 50 points for rebuilding the engine correctly, and 50 points for doing it all thru the exhaust manifold.

A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession

The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"

A doctor and an engineer both want to date the same girl.

The doctor decides to make a move, so gives her a rose. Meanwhile the engineer chooses to give her an apple daily.

Doctor: "Why you give her an apple everyday?"
Engineer: "Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

I'll see myself out


A priest, a doctor and an engineer walk into a bar..

.. The bartender glances at them as they enter the door and starts pouring drinks. Before they reach the counter their preferred drinks are ready for them. The engineer asks the bartender "How did you know what drinks we wanted?". The bartender mumbles "Repost from yesterday"

A doctor and an Engineer loved the same girl

The doctor gave her a rose everyday while the engineer gave her an apple. One day, the girl got confused and asked the engineer,

"The rose has a meaning but why do you give an apple everyday?"

The engineer replied,

"Why? An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"

A doctor and an engineer fell in love with the same girl. The doctor would bring her expensive gifts everyday, but the engineer only gave her an apple everyday, WHY?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away...

Doctor and Engineer wanted to date the same girl

The girl said to both what can you do for me. The Doctor being well-off bought the girl a diamond ring and the girl smiled and said thank you. The Engineer brought the girl an apple and the girl was confused. She said "why did you bring an apple?". The Engineer replied "An apple a day, keeps the Doctor away"

3 men in a bar talking about there sons

The first man says my son is doing so well he just got a job as a doctor and just bought his girlfriend a new car.

The next man says my son is an engineer and he just took his girlfriend to the Bahamas.

The third guy says my son is a male stripper. One of his boyfriends just bought him a car and went to the Bahamas with the other one.

The gender pay gap is mostly caused by the types of professions that men and women go into

Men are more likely to be doctors, lawyers, or engineers.

Women are more likely to be female doctors, female lawyers, or female engineers.

What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer?

A doctor kills people one at a time.

Why did the biologist lock himself in jail with an engineer, a physicist and a medical doctor?

Because he wanted to work with STEM Cells

Job choices for Asians

1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Engineer
4. Shame of family

What is globalization?

Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death

Question : How come?

Answer :

An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
Japanese.

And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!

I don't get why engineering students call themselves engineers when they aren't yet

I mean people in med schooling don't call themselves doctors,

law students don't call themselves lawyers,

and art students don't call themselves broke

A network engineer goes to the doctor......

He told the doctor, "It hurts when IP"

Kids career choice

I asked my son what he wanted to do for a living. He's a smart kid, I thought he wanted to be an engineer or doctor. He told me with a stern face he wanted to be a scarecrow. I didn't get it at first, but then I saw that he is outstanding in that field.

What does prosthetics engineers do?

They give orthopedic doctors a hand.

IT hurts

Rick Grimes: A network engineer went to the doctor.
Coral: Shut up, Dad!
RG: He said, "It hurts when I pee".
Coral: .......
RG: IT Hertz when IP, Coral!

Why did Michael Jackson see a software engineer instead of a medical doctor?

Because he had a race condition.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the doctor engineer neurologist jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working doctor engineer doctors piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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