Doctor And Nurse Jokes
116 doctor and nurse jokes and hilarious doctor and nurse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doctor and nurse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Doctor And Nurse Short Jokes
Short doctor and nurse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doctor and nurse humour may include short doctors nurses jokes also.
- After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
- Doctor: I think the patient is dying. What's his blood type? Nurse: B positive.
Doctor: Okay. I think the patient is going to make it. - It was very difficult to switch off my wife's life support system. You try fighting off 2 nurses, a doctor and my sons.
- I woke up in the middle of an operation once. The nurse said Don't worry, you just drifted off for a minute doctor.
- I was in the hospital bed when a nurse came up to me and said, "Would you like me to inform anyone that you're here?" I said, "Yes. The doctor."
- (Really happened) went to the doctors with my wife Claire The nurse asked if she had an "I". I said she has 2 otherwise she couldn't have driven us here.
- What did the doctor tell the nurse after he made a mistake on the blood type record He made a type o
- A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy... "What are we waiting for?" the doctor asks.
"Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients." - My 9 year old son just told me this one Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship?
A: A decade
Ba dum tish. - What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital? When you ask the patients "what's the problem?" They'll say "nothing"
Share These Doctor And Nurse Jokes With Friends
Doctor And Nurse One Liners
Which doctor and nurse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doctor and nurse? I can suggest the ones about nurses and doctors and doctor and patient.
- I will never vaccinate my child. I'd rather a doctor or nurse do it.
- Why did the doctor despise his nurse? She was always testing his patients.
- I'm never going to vaccinate my children... ...I'll leave that to the doctors and nurses!
- What'd the doctor say to the nurse about skin patients? Don't make any rash decisions.
- A doctor, a nurse, and a scientist walk into a bar Just kidding, they know better.
- So I went to the doctor for low blood count today... The nurse told me I was a crip.
- Nurse: My phone just died. Doctor: Let's call it.
- A doctor says to a nurse, "Hey, wanna swab spit?"
- What did the teenage doctor say in an emergency? I need a registered nurse, RN!!!
Amusing Doctor And Nurse Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about doctor and nurse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean doctor and lawyer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doctor and nurse pranks.
While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”
A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.
However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.
Written in large black letters was the sentence.
"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."
Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."
Chinese doctor opens his new clinic.
A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens his own clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."
Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."
Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20."
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money.
Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."
Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth."
Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste."
Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20."
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all."
Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100."
Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!"
Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"
Me: I have a 1:30 appointment with my doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?
Me: No, just a regular doctor.
A nurse walks into the doctors office and says "Doctor, there's an invisible man here to see you"
The doctor replied "Tell him I can't see him" [](/perfect)
Nurse walks into the doctors office and says: Doctor, there's a man here who says he's invisible.
Oh that's my pal Steve from the optics lab at DARPA. They're developing electromagnetic metamaterials to use in a cloaking device.
Tell him I can't see him now.
Two with sausage and meatballs, two without
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young nurse is hired at a Glasgow hospital.
Towards the end of the shift, he is assigned to a ward with a number people with no obvious signs of injury or disease. He goes to greet the first patient. "Hello, sir, how are you today? Is there anything I can do for you?" The patient replies,
"Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm; Weel are ye wordy o' a grace as lang's my arm."
The nurse is confused but smiles, checks the man's bedpans and greets the next patient. "Hello ma'am, how are you doing today?" The patient beams and replies:
"Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some w**... eat that want it, but we hae meat and can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."
The nurse is further confused. He fluffs her pillows and moves on to the third patient, who is grimacing with pain. "What seems to be the matter, sir?" The third starts rattling off as follows:
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle! I w**... be laith to rin an chase thee, wi murdering pattle!"
The nurse is totally baffled. When he is done with his patients he steps outside and sees a doctor outside the entrance. "Doctor, what sort of ward is this? A mental ward? "No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns unit."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A shy woman decides to have surgery
She wants to have surgery to remove her large v**... lips which have always made her self conscious. She finds a doctor and schedules the procedure but swears him to secrecy. "No one can ever know" she admonishes, and he agrees. After the anesthesia wears off she awakes to find three roses on her hospital tray. Angry, she calls for the doctor.
"Let me explain" the doctor says..."No one knows...the first rose is from me. I know how difficult this was for you. The second is from my nurse...she had the same procedure a year ago"
The woman is somewhat calmer. "But what about the third???"
The doctor says "Now don't get upset...He doesn't know who you are. But the man in the burn unit wanted to thank you for his new ears".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed razor
blade?
She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My old man (a doctor)'s Favorite.
A man waits patiently in the lobby of the ICU to see his wife, who has been in a coma for over a month, when a nurse runs out and says that he is needed right away.
Standing outside the room, the nurse tells the husband, "This morning we were giving your wife a sponge bath and we noticed something amazing!"
"What is it?!? the husband asked
The nurse explained, "Well, while we were giving her the sponge bath, we noticed that when we would touch her...uh....v**...... her vitals would spike on the monitor!"
Confused, the husband asked, "Well what do you need me for?"
The nurse responded, "Well we need you to go in there and perform o**... s**... on her, to see if that won't wake her up."
The man immediately agreed and closed the curtains as he entered the room.
5 minutes later the alarms sounded as the woman flat lined.
"Shes dead!" proclaimed the nurse, "What did you do?"
The man replied, "... I think I choked her..."
I had my prostate examined the other day. After it was all over, the doctor left at the same time the nurse came in, and whispered the three words no one wants to hear.
Who was that?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend told me this gem the other day
A man walks into a doctor's office with his 8 year-old daughter. Looking at the nurse he asks "Excuse me, miss? I need to see someone about getting my daughter on birth control."
The nurse replies, "My god! Your daughter is s**... active?"
"Nah, she just lays there like her Mom."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a man's wife is in a coma...
...and the nurse notices that when she bed-bathes the woman's g**..., there are small fleeting signs of life.
So the doctor explains to the husband and suggests that perhaps if he performed o**... s**... on her, it might bring her out of the coma.
So the husband goes in, but after a minute or so the woman's heart monitor flatlines and all the staff rush in to find her dead.
"What happened?" the doctor screams to the man.
"I'm not sure..." he says,
"...I think she choked"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An older couple goes to the doctor
and asks the doctor if he can watch them have s**.... The doctor, confused a bit, agrees and the couple goes at it.
When they're done the doc says, "I can't see anything wrong. You both seemed to be enjoying yourselves and it doesn't look like either of you was in distress." The couple thanks him and leaves.
This continues every week for a few weeks and finally the doctor just has to ask why they're coming to his office to have him watch them have s**....
"Well, doc," the man says, "she lives with her daughter who is a stay-at-home mom with a young child, so there's no privacy. I live in a nursing home but just got a roommate, so there's no privacy. A hotel is too expensive, but Medicare takes care of your bill."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nurse is giving a sponge bath to a woman who has been in a coma for months....
When she runs the sponge up the woman's thigh the monitor beeps.
The nurse runs to the doctor and tells him this! He comes back, she does it again, and they are both shocked.
So they call the husband in and tell him what has happened.
"I know this is awkward, but we are going to suggest that you have o**... s**... with your wife." Says the doctor to the husband.
"Oh... Okay... If you think it will help..." Replies the husband. And he goes into the room and shuts the door behind him.
About ten minutes later the husband comes out and says,
"She's.... She's dead."
The nurse and doctor are shocked! "What happened?!?"
The husband replies,
"Well... She probably choked to death."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
the r**...
A r**... shows up at the doctors office wearing a tux. The nurse asks him "What are you seeing the doctor for?" The r**... replies "I'm a have one oh them there vasectomies." The nurse looks at him and asks "Then why the tux?" The r**... replies "Well If'en I'm gonna be impotent I wanna look impotent."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Woman in a Coma
A woman has been on a coma for almost 3 years following a tragic accident. Her husband couldn't let go so he decided to just keep her on life support. One day, as the nurse on duty was giving her a bed bath, she noticed a slight response from the monitors hooked onto the woman everytime she wipes her privates. She immediately informed the attending physician who in turn called the husband. When the husband arrived the doctor told him that there may still be hope, and o**... s**... might revive his wife. The doctor led the husband to his wife's room and left him to do the job in private. After 20 minutes the alarms sounded and the doctor and the nurses quickly rushed into the woman's room. What they found was a flat line, her husband zipping up his pants saying:"I think she choked.."
Why was the prettiest nurse in the hospital called 'Appendix'?
Because only doctors were allowed to take her out.
A pizza guy enters an obesity clinic and says, "I have 15 meat lover pizzas with extra cheese."
The nurse at the receptionist desk angrily asks him, "Why would you come here and mock our patients?"
The pizza guy defensively answers, "It's just what the doctor ordered!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Soviet Doctor appointment
One day a man walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse that
he wants to see the eye/ear doctor. "There is no such doctor" she
tells him. "Perhaps he would like to see someone else?" No, I
need to see an eye/ear doctor he says. But there is no such doctor, she
replies. We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose
and t**..., but no eye/ear doctor. No help. He repeats, "I want to
see the eye/ear doctor." They go around like this for a few minutes and
then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye/ear doctor, but if there
were one, why would you want to see one? Because," he replies, "I keep
hearing one thing and seeing another."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How Men Think...
A nurse was giving a female coma patient a sponge bath, when she accidently brushed up on the womans private parts. Suddenly, the patients vital signs jumped up. So the nurse tried it again, and once again, the vital signs jumped up...so she called the Doctor, and showed him what had happened.
The Doctor grew excited, and called the womans husband. He explained what had happened, and said "I think it's worth trying for you to try o**... s**... with her, and that might be enough to wake her up."
So the husband agreed, and came over to the hospital, where they left him alone with his wife to get going....
a few minutes later, however, the alarms began to ring, and the Doctor found the woman to be dead.
He turned to the husband and asked him "What happened? Didn't you try o**... with her?"
"Yeah... I guess she must have choked on it."
In a hospital
A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, It's a very simple operation, don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you. What's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
A man walks into an eye doctor and asks to see the doctor...
The nurse replies, "Not with that eye!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can tell we still live in a sexist society because...
Doctors still make more money than nurses.
Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well.
Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nurse notices that a doctor is walking around with a r**... thermometer behind his ear. Embarrassed, she pulls him aside to discreetly inform him...
"Doctor," says the nurse, "you've got a r**... thermometer behind your ear."
The doctor pulls the thermometer from behind his ear and looks at it incredulously. "Nurse, do you know what this means? Some a**...'s got my pencil!"
"Sorry, that name is already taken"
A lady tells to the nurse at the maternity hospital:
- I think I will call my little newborn Anna.
Doctor:
- Sorry, that name is already taken, but you can name her Anna532 or Anna_153.
Always Pay Attention!
After my Prostate Exam, the Doctor left.
Then the Nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she whispered the three words that no man wants to hear:
"Who was that?
You know you're in for a rough Prostate Exam...
...when you get into "position" and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the "safe word"
Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?
Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange.
.
.
Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out.
Can I talk to my son?
A father was nervously waiting for the risky surgery of his son to end. When he saw the doctor come out of the operating room he asked him: Doctor, could I talk to my son? So the doctor reassuringly responds: Of course. Nurse! Bring this man a ouija board!
Southern man getting a Vasectomy, no not the cherry bomb joke.
A man from the southern US goes to the doctor to get a vasectomy. He wears his finest 3 piece suit with his best shoes. When the nurse is getting him ready she asks him why he's dressed so fancy. The man replies, "Well heck, if I'ma be impotent, I'ma look impo'tant too."
A nurse runs up to a doctor
"Doctor, Doctor!" she exclaims. "This patient's blood sugar is crashing!"
"This calls for a cool refreshing beverage!" says the doctor.
The nurse says, "Dr. Pepper! not now."
A doctor is looking for the next patient
Doctor: Where is the next patient?
Blonde Nurse: I told him to go home.
Doctor: Why did you do that?
Blonde Nurse: He told me he is not feeling well.
A patient collapses minutes after visiting the doctor
Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor! The man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'
Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'
It was difficult to turn off my wife's life support today
You try fighting off 2 nurses, 1 doctor, and my 3 kids!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I was in the emergency room
and while I was waiting for the doctor to come back I overheard a couple nurses at the nurses' station discussing another ER patient's case.
Apparently this dude had come in complaining of r**... pain. They took an X-Ray and found at least 8 toy horses in his colon. It sounded serious, but they described his condition as stable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nurse calls a doctor
•Doctor, doctor, come quick, hypochondriac from the room 110 has died.
-g**..., he really crossed the line this time!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Hindu, a Christian, A Sikh, an atheist, and a Buddhist walk into a clinic...
One of them is called to see the doctor, he goes in, and after a while leaves the clinic. After that, everyone else was angry because they had not received service from the doctor. They ask the nurse standing outside why this is so, to which she said: "I'm sorry, we only serve the sikh."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady came in for a routine physical at the doctor's office.
Here , said the nurse, handing her a u**... specimen container. The bathroom is over there on your right.
The doctor will be with you in a few minutes.
A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom with an empty container and a relieved look on her face.
Thanks! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn't need this after all!
A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'
He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
Please stop hating on Trump, he saved my friend's life!
Earlier last year my friend had been in a coma for years. The doctors tried everything and told us to pray for a miracle.
And then one day his nurse came and switched the TV to Trump's campaign, he woke up and turned it off.
Zombies from wwz would make very good doctors. Patient would be like: am I dying anytime soon? Nurse: wait I'll bring doctor zombicus. Zombie:*walks right past through the patient*
Nurse to the doctor....
Nurse: Dr the malingerer in room 7 just died.
Dr: oh come... now he´s exaggerating.
hope its funny in english :O in german it is ^_^
Why did the doctor to tell the nurse to stop looking for the missing supplies?
It was a lost gauze
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... Rule.!
A new patient was quite upset when the doctor's nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That's a s**... rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe." "That's nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"
An Asian nurse goes in to see Mr Jones
A few minutes later she comes out angry, refusing to see such a racist patient. The doctor goes in and asks Mr. Jones what he said to upset the nurse.
"I have no idea doc. She asked me if anything was bothering me, and I said yeah, urination"
A Pun
*at a psycology cabinet*
Nurse : Doctor , there is a patient here that belives he is invisible !
The Doctor : Tell him i can't see him now !
A man is rushed to the hospital and is given blood.
When the man gets worse, a nurse goes running to the doctor, saying "We gave him the wrong blood!"
The doctor responds "Ah, must've been a Type-O!"
A man is recovering from surgery.
A man is recovering from a minor surgery when a nurse comes in to check on him.
How are you feeling? she asks.
I'm okay, he says, but I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used during surgery.
What did he say? the nurse asks.
Oops.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nurse comes out of doctor's office
Nurse comes out of doctor's office and says:
"Due to new GDPR rules I'm not allowed to call you in by names. The patient with s**..., please come in."
A nurse, A doctor, And an Anti-Vaxxer walk into a bar.
The doctor says how did we all hit that bar? The Anti-Vaxxer starts to say how crazy that is, but promptly falls over dead from polio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in the hospital and the doctor comes in and says I need a r**... exam. It's awful, but the doctor finally finishes and leaves. Then the nurse comes in and says.
Who was that?
Last week, hubby wanted to spice things up a little, and suggested we play doctors and nurses.....
.... so I strapped him to a trolley, put him in the hallway, and ignored him for 48 hours.
A doctor, a nurse, and a mom walk into a bar
The doctor sits first and orders a shot of Jack Daniels
The nurse sits second and orders a shot of Jose Cuervo
The mom sits last and says I'm sorry, I don't do shots. then falls to the floor dead from measles.
At the doctor's office, the nurse asked me if I was OK with drawing blood.
I said "I've never done it before, but I'm willing to give it a shot."
Prostate and apologies if its a repost
A man went though his Prostate exam with stoicism and thought good, thats done with, as the doctor walked out. Then the nurse walked in and muttered those three words no man wants to hear.
"Who was that?"
A doctor sees a brains for sale sign in front of a shop.
He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife and I, we wanted to spice up out s**... life so we did a bit of role playing. She dressed as a nurse and I dressed as a doctor.
And that coma girl was already dressed as a patient, so she obviously was into it from the very beginning, your honor.
John gets bitten by a wasp.
And that too on his pee pee.
He and his wife go to the doctor immediately. Doctor takes one look at it and asks the nurse to give him some medication to help him.
The wife quietly signals the doctor to come outside the room and says - can you please only give something for the pain, and leave the swelling alone?
A blonde woman showed up to her doctor's office looking disheveled and with bags under her eyes
The doctor told her that she looked exhausted.
The blonde woman replied, I am. Ever since your nurse told me yesterday that I had to come in for a Blood test I have been studying non-stop
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between an o**... and a r**... thermometer?
The taste.
(My dad loves this joke. He loves jokes that are slightly dirty and involve doctors, nurses, nuns or priests. Anyone got any more?)
Bonus joke:
A doctor is doing his rounds at the hospital, going from patient to patient. He turns to a nurse and asks, "Sister, have you got a pen?"
The nurse reaches into her pocket and pulls out a thermometer. "Oh no," she says, "some a**...'s got my pen."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, I went and got a vasectomy today..
So, I went and got a vasectomy today. The nurse came into the room and told me to take me clothes off and lay in the bed. I did. Then she jumped on me, did me, then said let's go to the operating room. I said,"What was that all about?" She said, "It's better to have some kind of s**... before the operation so the doctor can find the vein to plug up." As I'm walking down the hall wall, I noticed 5 guys in a room m**.... I said to the nurse, " what are they here for." She said, Vasectomies. I said,"So am i, but I didn't have to do that!" She said,"you have blue cross and they have Obamacare!"
