Dock Jokes
77 dock jokes and hilarious dock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This witty collection of Dock Jokes will have you belly-laughing! From MacGregor and his sunken pier to Hickory Dickory Dock, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. Get ready to dock your worries away with a few of these lighthearted puns.
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Funniest Dock Short Jokes
Short dock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dock humour may include short pong jokes also.
- Hickory Dickory Dock Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got through with only minor injuries.
- [WP] You are an assassin in wwii trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock... Whoops, wrong sub.
- Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock? Because of all the ports
(Told to me by my wife) - Hickory, Dickory, Dock ... Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the rest escaped with minor injuries - Why is it impossible to park your boat in two places at once? Because that would require a pair a docks.
- I heard about the story of the magical dock The story goes that the dock was never built by anyone, but one day, it just apiered
- I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick. So I took it to the dock.
- What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care? "It's asbestos could be."
- I went down to the dock and I saw a boat with a for sale sign out front... And I thought to myself "duh, what else would you use it for?"
- Why do they put protection buoys on boats during docking? To protect it from pier pressure.
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Dock One Liners
Which dock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dock? I can suggest the ones about desk and duct.
- Why do swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
- Where do sick boats go? ........to the dock!!
HAHHAHHAHAHHA - How do you tie your spaceship to the dock? With an astronaut.
- What kind of degree does a shipyard recieve? A dock-torate
- Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats? Pier Pressure
- Why was no one able to go to the dock anymore It collapsed because of Pier pressure
- Why does a Ferry Boat never get Sick? Because it's always going to the Dock.
- what do you call it when a dock falls on you? pier pressure
- I think docking would make for a great spectator sport. It's really end to end.
- Did you hear about the study done about boat docks? It was pier-reviewed research!
- I put a weight on a dock, Now that's what I call pier pressure.
- Why did the lemmings jump from the dock? Too much pier pressure
- Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor.
- Where do dock workers like to shop? Crate and Barrel.
- If a fish and a half weighs a pound and a half, what does a boatload come to? A dock
Cr
Hickory Dickory Dock Jokes
Here is a list of funny hickory dickory dock jokes and even better hickory dickory dock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock!
- Where do mice launch their jetskis? From the Hickory Dickory dock
Dock Dock Jokes
Here is a list of funny dock dock jokes and even better dock dock puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes.
- Docking It's a lot to wrap your head around.
- Did you hear about the woman who went into labor at the docks and had a 15lb baby? It was a wide birth.
- A man was killed in a boating accident when he ran into a dock They were going to charge the dock with manslaughter, but they couldn't find a jury of its piers.
- Where do you park Two Ships of Theseus? At a Pair of Docks
- Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick? To the Dock
- Seasick jokes What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?
The Navy blues
What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time?
The Dock
- Did you hear about the clumsy carpenter who went back in time? He accidentally made a pair a docks
- Hey Zoolander! Are you gonna dock your sub in that Mermaid? Murmansk! Murmansk!
- How do you ensure a dock gets a fair trial? Have it decided by a jury of his piers
Witty Dock Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about dock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shore jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dock pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock
But I don't give into pier pressure.
Bag limit.
A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
...
"What fish?"
A young boat dock is caught smoking
A young boat dock is caught smoking by his mother. When his father gets home the parents stand over the little boat dock lecturing him on the dangers of smoking. "What do you have to say for yourself?" The little boat dock replies, "It was pier pressure."
The fishing trip
So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.
"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."
Of course, the others were upset but told him they couldn't rearrange all the schedules to make it work out this year, so they stuck to the date.
The morning of trip, the guys are unloading on the dock when Jim comes running up with his stuff.
"What's the deal, Jim?" asked one of the fishermen.
"So I came home from work last night and I found my wife in the bedroom. She was laying down with a spool of rope, some duct tape and a ball-gag, and told me how she's been reading *50 Shades of Grey*. She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So, uhh, here I am!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A preist, a monk, and a rabbi are sitting on a boat...
The monk says "oh right I forgot something back at the dock" and then proceeds to run across the water to the dock and back. The priest is astonished at the powers of Buddhism and the rabbi simply nods. hours later the rabbi needs to use the restroom and proceeds to follow in the monks suit running across water to reach the bathroom. At this point the priest it blown away the powers of these two holy men, the priest then needs to use the restroom, he offers a prayer to god and leaps off the boat... Splash he falls right in. Undeterred he tries again and again prayer after prayer. hours later the priest gives up soaked and exhausted, defeated he begins to s**.... Seeing this the rabbi leans over to the monk and whispers " you did tell him about the rocks right?"
I was down on the dock with some friends and they kept on trying to get me to drink.
I reluctantly gave into pier pressure.
A man is sitting in the dock at court.
The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".
Why are dockhands never featured in Miley Cyrus music videos?
Because they're port workers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend pressured me into smoking w**... with him on a dock.
I guess you could call that pier-pressure!
What did the pirate say to the person picking him up at the dock?
I'll be there in an Arrrrrrr!!!
Job Security
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.
"How much will it cost?" asked Joe.
"About $5,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Joe. "I've finally got job security!"
Why did the psychopath cry as he stood in the dock awaiting his sentence?
Because he lachrymose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wonder...
I wonder if a stripper has ever given a lap dance to a horse veterinarian to the song "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay."
The Titanic
So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.
How did Otis Redding die?
He fell off the dock of the bay.
A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...
A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."
A new shipment of dark blue shirts arrived at the loading dock at work today.
My coworker and I checked the boxes and the shirts felt differently so we started asking questions like, what distributors is this? and who makes it? . Finally after a lot of questions we ask from who? . The delivery driver looks at us and shouts Scan the Navy in!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sean Connery used to sing Otis Redding songs as lullabies to his baby son.
He was ten years old before he realised the dock of the bay wasn't actually covered in e**....
Thought I'd try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.
Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.
As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, Which part of the dog did you get?
My boss was fuming.
"I just went to the dock down the road for a leisurely stroll," he yelled, "and I dropped an official paper in the water."
"Can I ask you which document?" I asked.
He said, "I just told you, the one down the road."
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.
Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.
o**... said, "Oh no. An alligator just bit one of my feet off." The other guy said, "Which one?" And the first guy said, "How should I know? All the alligators look alike."
