Dock Jokes

80 dock jokes and hilarious dock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This witty collection of Dock Jokes will have you belly-laughing! From MacGregor and his sunken pier to Hickory Dickory Dock, these jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. Get ready to dock your worries away with a few of these lighthearted puns.

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Funniest Dock Short Jokes

Short dock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dock humour may include short pong jokes also.

  1. Hickory Dickory Dock Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got through with only minor injuries.
  2. [WP] You are an assassin in wwii trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock... Whoops, wrong sub.
  3. hickory dickory dock, The mouse went up the clock. The clock struck One, and the other two got away with minor injuries.
  4. Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock But I don't give into pier pressure.
  5. Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock
    The clock struck one
    But the rest escaped with minor injuries.
    (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)
  6. Don Sterling is so old and so racist... ...He remembers when the nba draft took place on a dock.
  7. Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock? Because of all the ports
    (Told to me by my wife)
  8. Hickory, Dickory, Dock ... Three mice ran up the clock,
    The clock struck one,
    And the rest escaped with minor injuries
  9. Why do Norwegian battleships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
  10. Why is it impossible to park your boat in two places at once? Because that would require a pair a docks.

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Dock One Liners

Which dock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dock? I can suggest the ones about desk and duct.

  1. Why do swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
  2. Where do sick boats go? the dock!!
  3. How do you tie your spaceship to the dock? With an astronaut.
  4. What kind of degree does a shipyard recieve? A dock-torate
  5. Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats? Pier Pressure
  6. Why was no one able to go to the dock anymore It collapsed because of Pier pressure
  7. Why do Danish ships have bar codes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
  8. Why does a Ferry Boat never get Sick? Because it's always going to the Dock.
  9. Where do you take a sick ship? To the doc(k)!
  10. what do you call it when a dock falls on you? pier pressure
  11. I think docking would make for a great spectator sport. It's really end to end.
  12. Did you hear about the study done about boat docks? It was pier-reviewed research!
  13. I put a weight on a dock, Now that's what I call pier pressure.
  14. I really hate it when my gay friends joke about docking... It really gets under my skin.
  15. Why did the lemmings jump from the dock? Too much pier pressure

Hickory Dickory Dock Jokes

Here is a list of funny hickory dickory dock jokes and even better hickory dickory dock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hickory dickory dock, the mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one The rest barely escaped with their lives
  • Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock!
  • Where do mice launch their jetskis? From the Hickory Dickory dock
  • Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one, but the other two got away.
  • What's the 3 blind mices' favorite s**... act? Hickory Dickory Docking

Dock Dock Jokes

Here is a list of funny dock dock jokes and even better dock dock puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hickery dickery dock. The mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one,
    And the others suffered minor injuries.
  • I heard about the story of the magical dock The story goes that the dock was never built by anyone, but one day, it just apiered
  • I wonder... I wonder if a stripper has ever given a lap dance to a horse veterinarian to the song "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay."
  • I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick. So I took it to the dock.
  • What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care? "It's asbestos could be."
  • I went down to the dock and I saw a boat with a for sale sign out front... And I thought to myself "duh, what else would you use it for?"
  • Why do they put protection buoys on boats during docking? To protect it from pier pressure.
  • Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor.
  • Where do dock workers like to shop? Crate and Barrel.
  • Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes.
Dock joke, Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend?

Dock joke, Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend?

Witty Dock Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about dock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shore jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dock pranks.

Bag limit.

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
"What fish?"

A young boat dock is caught smoking

A young boat dock is caught smoking by his mother. When his father gets home the parents stand over the little boat dock lecturing him on the dangers of smoking. "What do you have to say for yourself?" The little boat dock replies, "It was pier pressure."

The fishing trip

So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.
"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."
Of course, the others were upset but told him they couldn't rearrange all the schedules to make it work out this year, so they stuck to the date.
The morning of trip, the guys are unloading on the dock when Jim comes running up with his stuff.
"What's the deal, Jim?" asked one of the fishermen.
"So I came home from work last night and I found my wife in the bedroom. She was laying down with a spool of rope, some duct tape and a ball-gag, and told me how she's been reading *50 Shades of Grey*. She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So, uhh, here I am!"

Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick?

To the Dock

Where do you take a sick boat?

To the dock!

A man is sitting in the dock at court.

The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".

My friend pressured me into smoking w**... with him on a dock.

I guess you could call that pier-pressure!

Job Security

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.
"How much will it cost?" asked Joe.
"About $5,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Joe. "I've finally got job security!"

The Titanic

So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.

A man was killed in a boating accident when he ran into a dock

They were going to charge the dock with manslaughter, but they couldn't find a jury of its piers.


It's a lot to wrap your head around.

A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

If a fish and a half weighs a pound and a half, what does a boatload come to?

A dock

A new shipment of dark blue shirts arrived at the loading dock at work today.

My coworker and I checked the boxes and the shirts felt differently so we started asking questions like, what distributors is this? and who makes it? . Finally after a lot of questions we ask from who? . The delivery driver looks at us and shouts Scan the Navy in!

Sean Connery used to sing Otis Redding songs as lullabies to his baby son.

He was ten years old before he realised the dock of the bay wasn't actually covered in e**....

Thought I'd try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.

Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.
As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, Which part of the dog did you get?

My boss was fuming.

"I just went to the dock down the road for a leisurely stroll," he yelled, "and I dropped an official paper in the water."
"Can I ask you which document?" I asked.
He said, "I just told you, the one down the road."

Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.

Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?

Two r**... guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.

o**... said, "Oh no. An alligator just bit one of my feet off." The other guy said, "Which one?" And the first guy said, "How should I know? All the alligators look alike."

Dock joke, Why does a Ferry Boat never get Sick?

jokes about dock