The Best 51 Dock Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dock jokes. There are some dock sail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dock antonio puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dock Jokes and Puns
Lately people have been trying to get me to jump off a dock
But I don't give into pier pressure.
What did the terminally-ill dock worker say about his health care?
"It's asbestos could be."
Bag limit.
A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
...
"What fish?"
A young boat dock is caught smoking
A young boat dock is caught smoking by his mother. When his father gets home the parents stand over the little boat dock lecturing him on the dangers of smoking. "What do you have to say for yourself?" The little boat dock replies, "It was pier pressure."
The fishing trip
So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.
"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."
Of course, the others were upset but told him they couldn't rearrange all the schedules to make it work out this year, so they stuck to the date.
The morning of trip, the guys are unloading on the dock when Jim comes running up with his stuff.
"What's the deal, Jim?" asked one of the fishermen.
"So I came home from work last night and I found my wife in the bedroom. She was laying down with a spool of rope, some duct tape and a ball-gag, and told me how she's been reading *50 Shades of Grey*. She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So, uhh, here I am!"
Seasick jokes
What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?
The Navy blues
What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time?
The Dock
Don Sterling is so old and so racist...
...He remembers when the NBA draft took place on a dock.
Hickory Dickory Dock
Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one and the other got through with only minor injuries.
Where does a tugboat go when it feels sick?
To the Dock
Where do you take a sick boat?
To the dock!
Where do sick boats go?
........to the dock!!
HAHHAHHAHAHHA
You can explore dock pier reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dock ferry dad jokes. There are also dock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where do mice park their boats?
At the Hickory Dickory Dock!
I was down on the dock with some friends and they kept on trying to get me to drink.
I reluctantly gave into pier pressure.
A man is sitting in the dock at court.
The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".
Where do dock workers like to shop?
Crate and Barrel.
Where do you take a sick ship?
To the doc(k)!
My friend pressured me into smoking weed with him on a dock.
I guess you could call that pier-pressure!
Who do you call when you need a dock fixed?
A docktor.
Hickory Dickory Dock...
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
But the rest escaped with minor injuries.
(Something my grandfather told me when I was five)
Why did the boat dock with the all of the other boats?
Pier Pressure
I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick.
So I took it to the dock.
[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock...
Whoops, wrong sub.
Job Security
After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Joe was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.
Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Joe's wages to pay for the repairs.
"How much will it cost?" asked Joe.
"About $5,500," said the owner.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Joe. "I've finally got job security!"
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
Hickory, Dickory, Dock ...
Three mice ran up the clock,
The clock struck one,
And the rest escaped with minor injuries
I wonder...
I wonder if a stripper has ever given a lap dance to a horse veterinarian to the song "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay."
The Titanic
So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.
A man was killed in a boating accident when he ran into a dock
They were going to charge the dock with manslaughter, but they couldn't find a jury of its piers.
Hickory dickory dock, the mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one
The rest barely escaped with their lives
How do you tie your spaceship to the dock?
With an astronaut.
I went down to the dock and I saw a boat with a for sale sign out front...
And I thought to myself "duh, what else would you use it for?"
Docking
It's a lot to wrap your head around.
Why does the Nintendo switch come with a dock?
Because of all the ports
(Told to me by my wife)
A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...
A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."
If a fish and a half weighs a pound and a half, what does a boatload come to?
A dock
Cr
I think docking would make for a great spectator sport.
It's really end to end.
Why did the lemmings jump from the dock?
Too much pier pressure
I put a weight on a dock,
Now that's what I call pier pressure.
I heard about the story of the magical dock
The story goes that the dock was never built by anyone, but one day, it just apiered
Hickery dickery dock. The mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
And the others suffered minor injuries.
A new shipment of dark blue shirts arrived at the loading dock at work today.
My coworker and I checked the boxes and the shirts felt differently so we started asking questions like, what distributors is this? and who makes it? . Finally after a lot of questions we ask from who? . The delivery driver looks at us and shouts Scan the Navy in!
Sean Connery used to sing Otis Redding songs as lullabies to his baby son.
He was ten years old before he realised the dock of the bay wasn't actually covered in excrement.
Why do Norwegian battleships have barcodes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
Thought I'd try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.
Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.
As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, Which part of the dog did you get?
My boss was fuming.
"I just went to the dock down the road for a leisurely stroll," he yelled, "and I dropped an official paper in the water."
"Can I ask you which document?" I asked.
He said, "I just told you, the one down the road."
what do you call it when a dock falls on you?
pier pressure
Why do Danish ships have bar codes on them?
So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 81, your two hour rental period is up, please return to the dock.
Boat rental intern to manager: uh, sir, we only have 60 boats.
Boat rental manager over loudspeaker: boat number 18, do you require assistance?
Why was no one able to go to the dock anymore
It collapsed because of Pier pressure
Two redneck guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.
One guy said, "Oh no. An alligator just bit one of my feet off." The other guy said, "Which one?" And the first guy said, "How should I know? All the alligators look alike."
hickory dickory dock,
The mouse went up the clock. The clock struck One, and the other two got away with minor injuries.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dock quay jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dock laddy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.