Doberman Jokes

10 doberman jokes and hilarious doberman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doberman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article provides an amusing collection of Doberman jokes to make you smile. Whether you are a fan of the Doberman Pinscher breed, or just any breed of dog, these wholesome jokes will make a fun read! We also discuss Schnauzers, Collies, Chihuahuas, and some general dog-related humour. Don't miss out on this playful collection of canine jokes!

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Comical & Quirky Doberman Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What is a good doberman joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A German shepherd, a Doberman and a cat died.

In heaven they faced God,who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German shepherd said "i believe in discipline, loyalty and training to my master".
"Good" said God. "You may sit on my right side".
The Doberman said "I believe in love,care and protection of my master".
"Aha,you may sit on my left" said God.
Then God looked at the cat and said" and what do you believe in"?
The cat replied " I believe you are sitting in my seat".

My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex

They are watch dogs

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.
The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.
Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.
Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.
Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?
I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.
All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."
Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?
The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."
Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"
The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

Jesus is watching you

A burglar breaks into a dark house one night. He's moving around in the dark, when he hears a calm voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar freaks out, shines his flashlight around and spots a Parrot sitting in his cage. The parrot says again, "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved it was just a Parrot, and laughing, the thief asks the Parrot, "what's your name, Parrot?"
The Parrot replies, "My name is Moses."
Laughing again, the burglar asks, "Who would name their Parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who named their Doberman, Jesus."

I have two Dobermans, named Rolex and Timex.

Watch dogs

Jesus is watching

A burglar sneaks into someone's home, and while stealing he suddenly hears a voice in the dark.
"Jesus is watching."
Not knowing where it's from, he continues stealing until once again he hears "Jesus is watching". He then notices a bird cage with a parrot inside, with a name plate that says "Moses".
"Moses?" he asks. "What kind of m**... would name their parrot Moses?"
Moses then says "Same guy that names his doberman Jesus".

I bought two Dobermans named Rolex and Timex.

They're watch dogs.

Dogs and old tech

I work at a veterinary hospital.
We had to give booster shots to a dog today, specifically a Doberman Pinscher.
I noted that we were "updating a dobie."
Many groans were had.
I thought it was funny. :)

Some guys are talking about pets...

They get to talking about how good big dogs are because they can make good guard dogs.
One of the guys says "I preferred my old chihuahua pebbles better. And no other dog made me feel safer! He died killing a rabid full grown doberman for me!"
The other guys are confused and ask how that was even possible.
"The doberman choked to death."