dmv Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dmv puns

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.


The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'


"Can you read this?" the optician asked.


"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

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The Polish eye exam.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters

~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

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A Polish immigrant goes to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

But first, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.

The optician shows him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" replies the Polish man, "I went to school with the guy!"

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Never get stuck behind The Devil in a line at the DMV.

For The Devil can take many forms.

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Trying to date someone that doesn't like you is like going to the DMV...

...you get the run-around all day, get frustrated, and when they finally do call your number, you don't feel satisfied, you're just glad its over.

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What do mathematicians get at the DMV?

A deriver's license.

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Some sea mammals sleep with half their brain in deep sleep and the other half wide awake

This was developed as an evolutionary mechanism for survival, but biologists have documented a similar mechanism in workers at the DMV

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My computer's RAM isn't that great...

...but it still has faster processing than the DMV.

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The pretty lady at the DMV urged me to sign up to be an organ donor.

That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!

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What's a three letter word for Hell?

DMV.

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3 Main Evils

There are 3 main evils in the world: Dictators, Mosquitos and Vegans.

Or D.M.V for short.

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They didn't appreciate my joke at the DMV.

When I got my drivers license they asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I said "I don't own an organ".

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Two black eyes

Two guys are having a drink, when one brings up the others' two black eyes.

"Hows you get your black eyes?"

"Well, I was in line at the DMV, when I noticed that the lady in front of me had her skirt wedged between her butt cheeks, so I reached down and gave it a tug."

"So she hit you? That's rough, man. How'd you get the other?"

"Well, I figured that she must've wanted it there, so I put it back."

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Build a Bear "pay you're age day"

Better known as "make the dmv look fun day".

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No.1 Spring break destination

DMV office

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Where do you get a dog license?

At the DMV (Department of Mutt Verification)

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What did Russians hear at the dmv?

You can drive a car with a stick shift but you can't shift your own stick.

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What is the difference between the DMV, and a strip club?

One is tedious, the other is "titty-our"

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How to get sick fast, a comprehensive guide

Step 1: Wait in line at the DMV

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Why did Plato go to the DMV?

To find some forms.

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What are the most funny Dmv jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dmv? Well, here are the best Dmv dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dmv pick up lines to share with friends.

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