Dizziness Jokes
47 dizziness jokes and hilarious dizziness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dizziness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dizziness Short Jokes
Short dizziness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dizziness humour may include short jokes also.
- My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping. It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
- I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
- I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
- had to throw out my carbon monoxide detector tonight. All that beeping was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
- I wish I knew how to turn off my carbon monoxide alarm.... It's been going off for about fifteen minutes and the noise is making really dizzy and lightheaded.
- I had to remove the batteries from my monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a terrible headache and making me dizzy
- I got rid of my carbon monoxide detector last night The constant beeping was making me feel sick and dizzy.
- I've been feeling really dizzy since yesterday I think I need to stop these New Year revolutions.
- I've just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy
- An American guy ends up in the hospital with an Australian doctor Feeling very weak and dizzy, the patient asked:
-Did I come here to die?
-No, you came here yesterday.
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Dizziness One Liners
Which dizziness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dizziness? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What do you call a dizzy Asian? Disoriented.
- Why did the fisherman always feel dizzy? Because he had an eye-on the-fish-and-sea.
- I was hand washing my clothes the other day... Got a little dizzy during the spin cycle.
- Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial? It was a wobbly wallaby.
- Why are asexual people always dizzy? They're disoriented
- I once met a dyslexic who suffered from vertigo. Her name was Dizzy Spells.
- If you make an oriental dizzy.... does he become disoriented?
- What did the orchestra play to make it so dizzy? A centrifugue
- Why was the geometry teacher so dizzy? Cause he kept going in circles...
Dizziness Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dizziness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dizziness pranks.
A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, "What are you doing in there?" She says, "I'm washing my clothes." The man asks, "Why don't you use a washing machine?" The blonde says, "I tried that, but it was too dizzy.
Doctor: "What seems to be your trouble?"
Patient: "When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour."
Doctor: "Try getting up one hour later."
The husband and the horse.
The husband seated, reading his newspaper when his wife, furious, came from the kitchen and hits him in the head with a skillet .
Startled, he gets up and asks:
- Why did you do that? She responds: - I found this is the piece of paper in your pants with Mary's name and number. - Honey, remember the day I went to the horse racing? Yeah ... Mary was the horse I bet on, and the number was how much they were paying for the bet. The woman then left asking for apologies...
Days later, there he was again seated when he receives a new punch, this time with a pressure cooker.
Even more surprised (and dizzy), he asks: - What happened now, my love? She replies: - Your horse just called ...
The best trick...
A cop was waiting outside of a bar because it was free drinks night. The cop was determined to catch all of the drunks so they wouldn't drive. He saw a man walk out the door, the man was limping and had a dizzy look on his face. The cop decided to wait for everyone else from the bar to leave, then he would bust the drunk man. Soon everybody left. The cop walked up to the man and asked him, " are your drunk sir? ". The man didn't respond and just looked at the cop. The cop measured his alcohol level through the mans blood, but it said 0. " how it that possible? " , said the cop. The man responded by saying, " i am tonight's drunk decoy ". :)
Blonde Co-Pilot
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."
A group of senior citizens were talking...
...at the breakfast table in a Palm Springs nursing home.
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills makes me dizzy," another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.
Then there was a short moment of silence.
"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully. "Thank God we can all still drive."
A husband and wife are arguing...
"What would you do if I won the lottery?" he demands.
"I'd take half the money and be gone so fast you'd be dizzy," she replies.
"My scratch ticket won ten bucks. Here's five. Let me get the door."
Story of a dizzy blond !!!!
This is a story of a poor dizzy blond flying in a seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She,frantic,calls out a May Day.
"May day! May day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead and i dont know how to fly. Help me! Please Help me!"
She heards a voice over the radio saying:
"This is air traffic control and i have you loud and clear.i willtalk you through this and get you back on ground. i've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now,just take a deep breath. Everything wil be fine! Now give me your height and position! "
She says , "I'm 5'4 and i'm in front seat."
(Pause)
"O.K." says the voice in the radio.......
"Reapeat after me : Our father who art in heaven"
I was attacked at a birthday party by a Mexican man with a baseball bat.
Thankfully he was blindfolded and extremely dizzy.
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus that can play any instrument in the world. Everyone laughs, so he says he'll bet $50. A guy walks up with a guitar and sits it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, so the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet, and the octopus plays it better than Dizzy Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sets it down with a confused look. "Ha!" the man says, "Can't you play it?" The octopus looks up at the man and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I get its pajamas off."
Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives
His Obnoxious brother: Please Gogh.
His Dizzy aunt: Verti Gogh.
His prune-loving brother: Gotta Gogh.
His Convenience-Store-Owner cousin: Stop'n'Gogh
His Constipated uncle: Can't Gogh
The Ballroom dancer aunt: Tan Gogh
His Nephew psychoanalyst: E Gogh
His Fruit Loving cousin: Man Gogh
His sister who loves disco: Go Gogh
His bouncy little Nephew: Poe Gogh.
Curse the time
Patient: Doctor, whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right.'
Doctor: Then wait for half an hour before getting up.
So this doe comes stumbling dizzy and holding her head out behind two bushes.
And says to her self I'll never do that for two bucks again.
Van Gogh Family
Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:
* The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
* The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
* His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
* An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
* And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh
A man went to a doctor and said Doctor, I feel dizzy for half an hour when I wake up, and then I feel fine
To which the doctor replied, Well then, wake up half an hour later!
Okay, so get this.
A guy walks into a bar, the guy gets dizzy because the bar is made out of metal.
p**... is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and getting dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick". Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" p**... replies "No I only live round the corner".
I'm sorry your mother in law is dead
I'm sorry your mother in law is dead he says..how did it happen?
Well it was very unfortunate..she tried to stand up but got dizzy and caught the curtains and ripped them.
oh, thats how she died
no, from the t**... she hit the 65' inch tv and fell on the crystal table.
so, thats how she died
no, fragments hit her and fell on the balcony doors, smashing them and destroying the balcony furniture
well then she died
no. i shot the b**.... she destroyed my whole house
I took the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide tester
Because the loud beeping was making me dizzy and feeling nauseous!