The Best 47 Division Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Division jokes. There are some division unit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these division divisible puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Division Jokes and Puns

French Jokes

Who won the first Tour de France?
The 6th Panzer division.

Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?
To see the front line.

How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows.

Police dog

One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."

The Montana Department of Employment

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.

AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.

RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.

He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.

AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.

RANCHER: That would be me.

Division joke, The Montana Department of Employment

Who won the Tour de France in 1940?

The Sixth German Panzer Division.

The Washington Redskins are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the Redskins.


Looking for a joke about religious divisions...

I heard a joke a long time ago about two people who were in the same religion. and they go through the sub-parts of the religion- they're both christians, protestants, lutherans, same synod, etc... but when they get to the smallest possible division - they are in different ones and they get into a big fight, yelling at each other about being apostates. Anyone know how it goes?

[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is

To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'

Division joke, [Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock

What did the blind kid miss most about math class?

Division.

Who was the winner of the first Tour De France?

The Wehrmacht Tank division.

Who won the first Tour De France?

The 6th Panzer division.

Of course the joke isn't historically accurate. It's a joke, not a fact.

Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses?

It helps with division.

You can explore division calculators reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean division department dad jokes. There are also division puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I wear glasses during math,

Because it improves division.

What was the General's answer...

to the President's inquiry, as to what military division has been most under appreciated during his term?

"Tanks, Obama."

Just bought one of these new Brexit calculators..

..nothing seems to add up, it just takes away and does division

Who won the first Tour De France?

The 2nd Panzer Division.

Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

Multiplication in biology means reproduction, which is microscopically accomplished by cell division.

Division joke, Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.

Why do cellular biologists never agree with mathematicians?

For them, division and multiplication are the same thing.

Who won the original Tour De France?

The 7th Panzer division

Hitler is in his Bunker

One day, Hitler is in his bunker planning his strategy for the next phase of the war when there is a knock at the door. He says "enter" and Goebbels walks in.
"What is it Goebbels? Can't you see I'm busy?!" asks Hitler, clearly irritated.
"Mein Fuhrer," says Goebbels, "I have news. The Italians joined the war today."
"No problem," replies Hitler, "send a division against them."
"Mein Fuhrer, they are on our side."
"Ah," says Hitler, "then send two divisions."


Why does the cell always fail at Math?

It performs division for multiplication.

Who won the first Tour de France?

The 3rd German Tank Division.

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?

Nuclear division.

What do you call a division that does the same things again for no reason?

The Department of Redundancy Department

Homework.

A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."

I always wear my glasses during math exams...

Because it help me with division.

The result of mutiplication is called a product

Does that mean division is counterproductive?

I have an idea for a movie about undead tank operators

I call it GHOST DIVISION

Can you explain cell division very fast??..

o
0
8
oo

What music do vegan goths listen to?

Soy division

The Gardai in Ireland are worried about diversity and are setting up a division consisting solely of black people.

They're called 'The Blaggards'

Talk Like A Pirate Day

"Okay, we know we said we'd come back stronger than ever this year, and we admit that 4th place in the division is not where we wanted to be. But it IS a better-than-.500 record, so there's that, and we have some good prospects in the pipe for 2019."

"Herr General, the Italians have entered the war"

said the Wehrmacht commander's subordinate.

"Really?" his boss sighed. "Send half a division to stop them."

"Nein, herr General." replied his subordinate; "they are entering on our side."

Upon hearing it, the General collapses onto the table, crying; "Send two armies to help them!"

If Cruella de Vil had a daughter, she would be named Lucy.

Lucy would aid the family business by taking up a logistics division, calling the child company Lucy's Fur.

My friend asked me to stop making Math jokes

I said that I'm sorry, but bad jokes are my division

I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house it's really causing division

Do you know who won the first 'Tour de France'?

The 5th Panzer Division

There is a fine line between numerator and denominator

some people appreciate these jokes, some do not.
The division is clear

You should wear glasses while you're doing math

It improves division

There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator

the division is clear

What is the Tactical Division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police called?

The Special Horses.

I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes...

but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.

Why do all math teachers wear glasses ?

Cuz it improves division

What is Wanda Maximoff's favorite subject?

Division.

What is the difference between COVID-19 and the 101st Infantry Division?

COVID-19 is Airborne

I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework.

It improves division

I really don't like when people argue about which math is the best.

I just really hate the division.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the division section jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working division surrender piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes