Division Jokes

82 division jokes and hilarious division puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about division that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Division jokes may sound silly, but they can be surprisingly serious. In this article, we'll explore the funny, the practical, and the surprising implications of division. Learn about multiplication and division, long division, cell division, and how calculators can help with the process. Discover how joy and absolutes can be found in the process, and how inferiority can be avoided. Read on to explore the humor behind division.

Funniest Division Short Jokes

Short division jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The division humour may include short divide jokes also.

  1. Why do cellular biologists never agree with mathematicians? For them, division and multiplication are the same thing.
  2. [Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'
  3. There is a fine line between numerator and denominator some people appreciate these jokes, some do not.
    The division is clear
  4. In a job swapping exercise , a politician was assigned the job Of a math teacher .
    Guess what did he teach the kids in the class.
  5. Who won the first Tour De France? The 6th Panzer division.
    Of course the joke isn't historically accurate. It's a joke, not a fact.
  6. I keep hearing about this great new MCU show featuring what I can only assume are Hispanic superheroes... but I can't seem to find this *Juan Division* on any streaming service.
  7. What is the difference between COVID-19 and the 101st Infantry Division? COVID-19 is Airborne
  8. I really don't like when people argue about which math is the best. I just really hate the division.
  9. What if J.K. Rowling is playing the long game and all her outrageous and divisive views and comments are setting us up for the final where she says But guys.... I'm J. K.
  10. You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by two

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Division One Liners

Which division one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with division? I can suggest the ones about district and portion.

  1. There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator the division is clear
  2. Who won the first Tour De France? The 2nd Panzer Division.
  3. Why do a lot of math nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
  4. What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis? Nuclear division.
  5. Who won the Tour de France in 1940? The Sixth German Panzer Division.
  6. Why does the cell always fail at Math? It performs division for multiplication.
  7. Why should you wear glasses when doing maths? Because they help with division.
  8. I always put my glasses on when doing Math homework. It improves division
  9. Maths make me feel numb But divisibility by 2 makes me even number.
  10. Why do all math teachers wear glasses ? Cuz it improves division
  11. You know what's odd? Any integer not wholly divisible by 2!
  12. Who won the original Tour De France? The 7th Panzer division
  13. Do you know who won the first 'Tour de France'? The 5th Panzer Division
  14. Who won the first Tour de France? The 3rd German Tank Division.
  15. You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two

Division Math Jokes

Here is a list of funny division math jokes and even better division math puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You should wear glasses while you're doing math It improves division
  • My friend asked me to stop making Math jokes I said that I'm sorry, but bad jokes are my division
  • I wear glasses during math, Because it improves division.
  • What did the blind kid miss most about math class? Division.
  • I always wear my glasses during math exams... Because it help me with division.
  • Maths teachers are the worst... ...they're always creating division.
  • You need glasses when you do maths Because it helps with division.
    -Barbara from Rooster Teeth
  • What's a surgeon's favourite type of maths? Lung division

Cell Division Jokes

Here is a list of funny cell division jokes and even better cell division puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division. Multiplication in biology means reproduction, which is microscopically accomplished by cell division.
  • Can you explain cell division very fast??.. o
Division joke, Can you explain cell division very fast??..

Long Division Jokes

Here is a list of funny long division jokes and even better long division puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Matching socks is like long division There always seems to be a remainder.
  • **What do you call it when an asian family has a feud** **LONG** division
Division joke, **What do you call it when an asian family has a feud**

Heartwarming Division Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about division you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boundary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make division pranks.

French Jokes

Who won the first Tour de France?
The 6th Panzer division.
Why do french tanks have rear-view mirrors?
To see the front line.
How many French troops does it take to defend Paris?
No one knows.

Police dog

One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."

The Montana Department of Employment

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.

The Washington r**... are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

....from now on they will be known simply as the r**....

Looking for a joke about religious divisions...

I heard a joke a long time ago about two people who were in the same religion. and they go through the sub-parts of the religion- they're both christians, protestants, lutherans, same synod, etc... but when they get to the smallest possible division - they are in different ones and they get into a big fight, yelling at each other about being apostates. Anyone know how it goes?

Who was the winner of the first Tour De France?

The Wehrmacht Tank division.

What was the General's answer...

to the President's inquiry, as to what military division has been most under appreciated during his term?
"Tanks, Obama."

What's the difference between novocaine and an index finger?

One's a digit divisible by two, the other is a prime number.

I really hate arguments about fractions.

They're divisive.

Just bought one of these new Brexit calculators..

..nothing seems to add up, it just takes away and does division

h**... is in his Bunker

One day, h**... is in his bunker planning his strategy for the next phase of the war when there is a knock at the door. He says "enter" and Goebbels walks in.
"What is it Goebbels? Can't you see I'm busy?!" asks h**..., clearly irritated.
"Mein Fuhrer," says Goebbels, "I have news. The Italians joined the war today."
"No problem," replies h**..., "send a division against them."
"Mein Fuhrer, they are on our side."
"Ah," says h**..., "then send two divisions."

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?


What do you call a division that does the same things again for no reason?

The Department of Redundancy Department

I have the hardest time with numbers divisible by 2.

I can't even.


A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."

I'm trying to spread "quotient" awareness

Please upvote for divisibility.

I have an idea for a movie about undead tank operators


Talk Like A Pirate Day

"Okay, we know we said we'd come back stronger than ever this year, and we admit that 4th place in the division is not where we wanted to be. But it IS a better-than-.500 record, so there's that, and we have some good prospects in the pipe for 2019."

If you want to go to heaven, make sure your sin count is divisible by 360.

Because sin(360)=sin(0).

"Herr General, the Italians have entered the war"

said the Wehrmacht commander's subordinate.
"Really?" his boss sighed. "Send half a division to stop them."
"Nein, herr General." replied his subordinate; "they are entering on our side."
Upon hearing it, the General collapses onto the table, crying; "Send two armies to help them!"

I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house it's really causing division

What is the Tactical Division of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police called?

The Special Horses.

What is Wanda Maximoff's favorite subject?


I'm so sick of all the right vs left BS! it's all 'the left are so evil all they do is ..' or 'the right is so evil all they care about is ..'

First off, it's divisive and bringing out the worst in people. Completely ruining the country. Secondly, who the h**... really judges people based solely on which Twix they prefer?!

Division joke, Why should you wear glasses when doing maths?

jokes about division