Diving Jokes

Funniest Diving Short Jokes

Short diving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diving humour may include short scuba divers jokes also.

1. "Sir, you'll need to leave, you can't pee in the pool." "But everyone pees in the pool!"
   "Yes, but not from the diving board."
2. All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river.
3. I got kicked out of a pool for peeing in it The lifeguard started yelling, telling me to stop.
   "But all the little kids do it too!" I yelled back.
   "But not while standing on the diving board!"
4. The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
5. One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison. I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.
6. You would think with an entire soccer team stuck in a cave.... One of them would have known how to dive
7. I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day at work. Deep down.., I realized it wasn't for me.
8. What did the professional diving roach say to his captain right before being lost to the sea? Suffocation, no breathing, this is my last report.
9. Have you heard of the blind girl that went sky diving? She had a great time but her dog didn't
10. My friend keeps obnoxiously bragging that he broke my record for deep sea diving. That's a new low.

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Diving One Liners

Which diving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diving? I can suggest the ones about scuba and drowning.

1. If at first you don't suceed... sky diving isn't for you.
2. What did Mr. T say after throwing five $10 bills off the diving board? I fitty da pool!
3. I hate scuba diving It was the lowest moment of my life.
4. Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.
5. I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure.
6. Every bar in Houston right now.. ..is a dive bar.
7. Where do mermaids go to watch movies? The dive in.
8. I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving... One day I lobster and never flounder again.
9. Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving? It's all over town.
10. Why can't bill clinton go scuba diving? He won't inhale.
11. Guy walks into a bar... Find out more on the next episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
12. How do you know a swimming pool is safe for diving It deep ends.
13. An Expensive Scuba Diving Store in My Town Just Opened It went under
14. My friends tried to take me to an underwater tavern but I declined. I hate dive bars.
15. What do you call a Volleyball player who hurt her knee diving for the ball? Courtney

Diving Board Jokes

Here is a list of funny diving board jokes and even better diving board puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why am I being banned from the pool?! Because you're peeing in it.
  But everyone pees in the pool!
  Yes, but not from the diving board.
• Pee in the pool and nobody bats an eye Do it from the diving board and everyone loses their minds
• Jacob was at his neighbourhood community swimming pool. Lifeguard: Jacob! Stop Peeing in the pool!
  Jacob: But everyone does it!?
  Lifeguard: Yes, but not when on the DIVING BOARD.
• Me and the wife are getting swimming costumes I'm going as a diving board
• How did the hipster break his neck? He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

Scuba Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny scuba diving jokes and even better scuba diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver? He was convicted of diving under the influence.
• My wife wants to go scuba diving while I prefer sky diving... We cant find any common ground
• Why do perfectionists not go scuba diving? Because they don't like going under the C
• What do you call an actor that scuba dives? Johnny Depth
• The reason why Scuba-divers dive backwards is because they'll just hit their heads in their boats if they dive forward.
• I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil.
• Chris Rea just got his scuba certification Diving home for christmas
• I used to have a scuba diving business But it went under.
• What do you get when you go scuba diving with your iPhone 6 The bends.
• I tried learning to scuba dive but I was clearly out of my depth.

High Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny high diving jokes and even better high diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I got caught peeing in the pool, want to know how? I was on the high dive.

Olympic Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic diving jokes and even better olympic diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics He's Brazil's next star in the Diving competition.
• This just in: Argentina's football team to represent their country as the diving team in 2020 Olympic Games
• Why is FIFA never on the same year as the summer olympics? Because all the players are on the diving team.
• What did the cat score at the Olympic Diving Event? A Purrrrrrrfect 10
• It doesn't matter if you come third in the water olympics... All dives matter.

Happy Diving Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about diving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dive bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diving pranks.