Diving Jokes

• Short Diving Jokes
• Diving One Liners
• Diving Board Jokes
• Scuba Diving Jokes
• High Diving Jokes
• Football Diving Jokes
• Olympic Diving Jokes
• More Diving Jokes

Funniest Diving Short Jokes

Short diving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The diving humour may include short dive jokes also.

1. Everyone pees in the pool... But you do it once from the high dive and you're some sort of monster.
2. "Sir, you'll need to leave, you can't pee in the pool." "But everyone pees in the pool!"
   "Yes, but not from the diving board."
3. All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river.
4. I got kicked out of a pool for peeing in it The lifeguard started yelling, telling me to stop.
   "But all the little kids do it too!" I yelled back.
   "But not while standing on the diving board!"
5. The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
6. Some lifeguard kicked me out of the pool for peeing in it. I told him everyone does it. He told me not off the diving board
7. One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison. I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.
8. You would think with an entire soccer team stuck in a cave.... One of them would have known how to dive
9. I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor the first day at work. Deep down.., I realized it wasn't for me.
10. What did the professional diving roach say to his captain right before being lost to the sea? Suffocation, no breathing, this is my last report.

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Diving One Liners

Which diving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with diving? I can suggest the ones about scuba divers and scuba.

1. If at first you don't suceed... sky diving isn't for you.
2. What did Mr. T say after throwing five $10 bills off the diving board? I fitty da pool!
3. I hate scuba diving It was the lowest moment of my life.
4. Deep down... ...I knew scuba diving wasn't for me.
5. I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure.
6. Every bar in Houston right now.. ..is a dive bar.
7. Where do mermaids go to watch movies? The dive in.
8. I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving... One day I lobster and never flounder again.
9. Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving? It's all over town.
10. Why can't bill clinton go scuba diving? He won't inhale.
11. Guy walks into a bar... Find out more on the next episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
12. How do you know a swimming pool is safe for diving It deep ends.
13. An Expensive Scuba Diving Store in My Town Just Opened It went under
14. You know what they say? If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.
15. My friends tried to take me to an underwater tavern but I declined. I hate dive bars.

Diving Board Jokes

Here is a list of funny diving board jokes and even better diving board puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why am I being banned from the pool?! Because you're peeing in it.
  But everyone pees in the pool!
  Yes, but not from the diving board.
• Pee in the pool and nobody bats an eye Do it from the diving board and everyone loses their minds
• At the swimming pool A lifeguard reprimand a kid:
  - Boy! Stop peeing in the pool!
  - But everyone does!
  - I know, but not from the diving board!
• What does Mr. T say after tossing two 20's and a 10 off the diving board? I fitty da pool. Peckahs
• Jacob was at his neighbourhood community swimming pool. Lifeguard: Jacob! Stop Peeing in the pool!
  Jacob: But everyone does it!?
  Lifeguard: Yes, but not when on the DIVING BOARD.
• Olympics synchronized-diving hopeful from a country so poor he had to practice in a pool with one diving board . . . And a mirror.
• Me and the wife are getting swimming costumes I'm going as a diving board
• How did the hipster break his neck? He jump off the diving board before it was pool.
• "Madam, Please ask your son to stop peeing in the pool!" "Oh, But everyone pees in the pool! Are you saying you haven't?"
  ​
  ***'Not from the Diving board!!!"***

Scuba Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny scuba diving jokes and even better scuba diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver? He was convicted of diving under the influence.
• Why do scuba divers dive out of the boat backwards? 'cause if they dive forward they fall in the boat
• My wife wants to go scuba diving while I prefer sky diving... We cant find any common ground
• Why do perfectionists not go scuba diving? Because they don't like going under the C
• What do you call an actor that scuba dives? Johnny Depth
• The reason why Scuba-divers dive backwards is because they'll just hit their heads in their boats if they dive forward.
• I went SCUBA-diving and my equipment malfunctioned. I was so mad... ... it literally made my blood boil.
• Chris Rea just got his scuba certification Diving home for christmas
• I used to have a scuba diving business But it went under.
• What do you get when you go scuba diving with your iPhone 6 The bends.

High Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny high diving jokes and even better high diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I got caught peeing in the pool, want to know how? I was on the high dive.

Football Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny football diving jokes and even better football diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• It's kinda ironic that 12 kid football team got trapped by water Judging by the World Cup, I thought every team knew how to dive
• Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave ...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive
• Neymar is meeting up with the Thailand football team who were trapped in a cave... He's going to teach them how to dive
• How do you know the thai football team are fair football players? Because they don't know how to dive.
• This just in: Argentina's football team to represent their country as the diving team in 2020 Olympic Games
• If I ever became a footballer I'll never ever take a dive. Said no one ever

Olympic Diving Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic diving jokes and even better olympic diving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics He's Brazil's next star in the Diving competition.
• Why is FIFA never on the same year as the summer olympics? Because all the players are on the diving team.
• What did the cat score at the Olympic Diving Event? A Purrrrrrrfect 10
• It doesn't matter if you come third in the water olympics... All dives matter.

Happy Diving Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about diving you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean swimming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make diving pranks.