Following is our collection of funny Divine jokes. There are some divine heavenly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these divine renounce puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
The doctor was first, but the blade jammed and the doctor was set free due to Divine Intervention.
The lawyer was next, again the blade jammed, and was also set free.
As the engineer was being led to his doom, he glanced up at the blade and said Wait a minute! I think I see the problem…
She was wearing a see through blouse and no bra.
"You can't come into this church dressed like that!" Exclaimed the priest.
"But I have a divine right!" Replied Judy.
"You have a divine left too, but you still can't come in dressed like that!"
He couldn't decide if he was divine or simply gorgeous.
By chance, a priest, a laywer, and an engineer find themselves in line to be guillotined. They demand that the priest steps up, and he reluctantly does so. They put his head in the guillotine and pull the rope, but to everyone's surprise, nothing happens. The priest declares that he was saved by divine intervention, and they let him go.
They then make the lawyer step up to the guillotine. They pull the rope and again, nothing happens. The lawyer reminds them that he cannot be executed twice for the same crime, and so they reluctantly let him go.
Then they make the engineer step up, and they put his head in the guillotine. The engineer says, "Oh wait, *here's* your problem.."
After creating the world, the Lord looked at it and he said to the animals "Go forth and multiply!"
The snakes came to him and said "Oh Lord, please forgive us, we cannot do as you command, for we are adders".
The Lord turned to the trees and said "Fall over and build furniture from your trunk, because adders can multiply with the aid of log tables".
Words of the Lord of math.
After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " you can't come to church dressed like that " pointing at her blouse.
"But I have a divine right" complained Suzy.
" And you have a divine left too " noted the priest " still you can't come dressed like that " .
Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
1. Claim divine visitation of some nature
2. ???
3. Prophet
It was a clerical error.
It's pretty sack-religious.
Because the real joke is in the comets!
You can explore divine presbyterian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean divine miracles dad jokes. There are also divine puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
After the congregation,the priest called her aside and said " you can't come to church dressed like that " pointing at her blouse.
"But I have a divine right" complained Suzy.
" And you have a divine left too " noted the priest " but still you can't come dressed like that " .
The parish priest went up to her " you must not enter the house of God unless properly dressed"
" Oh, but I have a divine right"
"You also have a divine left" sighed the clergyman,"but I still have to insist that you should cover up"
So instead of calling it the "Holy Trinity" it would be the "Repentagon".
There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.
Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in public. Mere days later, a mysterious disease swept through the town and killed every last one of them.
They should have obeyed the Quran teen.
Al Dante.
Has tested positive for the virus!!!
And throwing trepidation to the winds, he stumbles towards home through Central Park. He gets terribly lost on 110th St. and ends up careering into St. John the Divine just as they're beginning midnight mass. The priest is walking up the aisle and swinging the censor when the man runs up to him and hisses, "sweetie, I love the dress, but your *handbag is on fire.*"
And you are the branches
You God Dam it!
-I thought this up after hearing mom say her 2nd favorite curse
The divine threesome
The battery charge alone lasts five years.
He's a bee-leaver
"Is the wine divine or vintage?"
"D-divine chef."
"Jesus Christ..."
"Yes, probably."
Divine intervention.
Altha'or syzygena
he has Divine Right of way
but I can never get past Purgatorio
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the divine creation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working divine merciful piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.