The Best 9 Dives Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dives jokes. There are some dives swam jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dives underwater puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dives Jokes and Puns

A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.

The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.

"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.

A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.

Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.

*(

the newlyweds go to the hotel swimming pool...

The guy goes to the diving board and performs a 2 1/2 sommersaults with 2 twists backwards.

-"Whoa, that was impressive," says the wife when the man comes back.

-"I was a double medallist in London olympics, dear".

So the woman dives in and does 90 lenghts of the pool in 2 1/2 minutes.

-"Baby, that WAS impressive", says the husband.

-"I was a prostitute in Venice, dear"

Guy walks into a bar...

Find out more on the next episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.

First baby asks second baby Are you a boy baby or a girl baby?

Second baby I don't know...
First baby Let me look. Dives under second baby's blanket and comes up red faced and says You're a boy baby!
Second baby How can you tell?
First baby (triumphantly) You have blue socks!

What's the difference between Neymar and a Dolphin?

When a dolphin dives he's fishing for a carp for food on a reef ...
When Neymar dives he's fishing for a card from a fool of a ref


Three gurus on top of a mountain sit in meditation.

One of them opens his eyes and whispers "Life...", then closes his eyes and keeps on meditating.
Seasons come and go, twenty years pass, then the second guru opens his eyes and whispers "...is suffering...". Then stops suddenly and dives deep into meditation again.
After another twenty years of meditation the third guru opens his eyes and says "C'mon guys, are we here for chitchat????"

TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war!

Sorry, wrong sub :(

Dives joke, TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most moder

Three fishermen

Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.

Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.

"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"

"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"

What do you call an actor that scuba dives?

Johnny Depth

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dives plunge jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dives leaps piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes