Divers Jokes
57 divers jokes and hilarious divers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about divers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Divers Short Jokes
Short divers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The divers humour may include short diving jokes also.
- Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver? He wanted to have a manta-man talk
(I'm so sorry) - TIL why scuba divers fall backwards into the water Because if they fall forward, they would land in the boat.
- Why do scuba-divers jump backwards into the water? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat.
- Tell you what, it's lucky that those Kids trapped in the cave in Thailand are footballers It means they're already good divers.
- The bartender says "Sorry, we don't make that here." Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.
He gets up and leaves.
He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver. - A diver is applying a job Hiring manager: what is your ability?
Diver: i can work under pressure - Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver? He was convicted of diving under the influence.
- Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.
- Now that Neymar's out of the World cup, he's heading to Thailand. To rescue those kids, no better diver in the world.
- What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver? Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows
Yeah, I know it's old....
Share These Divers Jokes With Friends
Divers One Liners
Which divers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with divers? I can suggest the ones about traveller and skydiver.
- With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed? A sea-saw
- Why don't Scuba Divers make good grades? They are always below C level.
- It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver they're under a lot of pressure.
- What do u call 11 divers and a net? A soccer team.
- Why are divers always so nervous? Because they're always under pressure!
- A scuba diver bends into a bar Sadly, he died.
- Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested? He shot a school of fish.
- What's the name of the scared sky diver? Hugo First
- What happened to the divers journal? It got waterlogged.
- What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel? That's a moray!
- I think I'd be a good deep sea diver.. ..because I work well under pressure
- What is Spongebob's favorite song? Holey Diver
- What did the pianist say to the cave diver? C Sharp or B Flat
- TIL Why divers fall backwards off of a boat You stay on the boat when you fall forwards.
- Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.
Scuba Divers Jokes
Here is a list of funny scuba divers jokes and even better scuba divers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What goes in head first and dry and then comes out wet and smelling like a fish? A scuba diver.
- Dad jokes win Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they didn't the would fall into the boat - What's the difference between a scuba diver and a crane driver? The crane driver uses a bottle.
- The reason why Scuba-divers dive backwards is because they'll just hit their heads in their boats if they dive forward.
- Why do scuba divers (sitting on edge on boat with face towards boat) fall back ? Coz if they fall ahead, they would just get into boat.
- What's the similarity between a scuba diver and a tortured person? They both go underwater.
- Why couldn't the one-eyed scuba diver gauge how far he dove? He had no depth perception
- Did you hear about the scuba diver who had trouble swimming? He was under a lot of pressure.
- Why do scuba divers throw themselves backwards off of boats? Because if they threw themselves forwards they would land in the boat.
- What type of car do wealthy scuba divers drive? The Bends of course.
Comedy Divers Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about divers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diving board jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make divers pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many people are needed to circumcise a whale?
How many people are needed to circumcise a whale?
f**... divers
What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit?
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
599$,1000m mechanical divers watch
Howard and Dale walk into a bar
They sit down at the bar and see people scuba diving on the tv.
"So here's a question" says Howard "How come scuba divers sit on the side of the boat with their oxygen tanks facing outward, and fall backwards off the boat?"
Dale thought for a minute and then said "Thats easy, if they fell forward they'd still be in the frigging boat!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... And Murphy Are In The Pub
p**... and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. p**... says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"
A divers reached 300 meters under the sea
Diver : the pressure here is immense
Fish : all the cool kids take drugs
Diver : all the cool kids you say?
What is the most common reason of depression amongst divers?
Depth
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
From a 70 year old dude in a bar
How many skin divers does it take to circumsize a whale......4
The best way to get the most diversity recognition is firing your diversity officer for not being diverse enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...
After all they're the world's most talented divers.
We should send Neymar to the cave and save the children
Because he is one of the best divers
The Thai Navy SEALS Have Rescued All The Boys...
Asians really are good divers!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Glad we didn't see the Thailand football team in the World Cup.
I hear their youth players are very good divers
Why did Neymar make a quick exit at the world cup in Russia?
He heard divers were needed in Thailand
The Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear as they maneuvered through the narrow caves
So they wouldn't Bangkok.
Dumpster divers children are statistically most likely to be adopted
because one mans trash, is another one's treasure
Why do divers have to dive backwards to get in the water?
Because if they dive forward, they fall on the boat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know how they circumcise whales?
Four skin divers.
How many flat earthers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three experts in logistics, one metereologist, two cooks plus six foragers, two engineers, two pilots, two drivers, one cartographer, a steward, a communications expert, someone in charge of the journal, eight porters, five mountain climbers, five divers, two armed bodyguards, and a captain for the expedition that will find the secret instructions written 6000 years ago on stone tablets by the Mayas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you circumcise a whale?
Fore skin divers.
What's the opposite of diversity?
Uni-versity
