The Best 45 Diver Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Diver jokes. There are some diver breaststroke jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these diver skydiver puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Diver Jokes and Puns
I dated a professional diver
The relationship went swimmingly :)
Why are divers always so nervous?
Because they're always under pressure!
What's the difference between an Olympic swimmer and an Olympic diver?
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows
Yeah, I know it's old....
What's the name of the scared sky diver?
Hugo First
What goes in head first and dry and then comes out wet and smelling like a fish?
A scuba diver.
Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition?
He couldn't handle the pressure.
What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?
That's a moray!
It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver
they're under a lot of pressure.
Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school?
Because he was always below a C
What's the Top Job Requirement for Deep Sea Diver Position?
Ability to work under pressure.
What did the ocean ask the scooba diver?
Water you doing here?
You can explore diver waterproof reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean diver sinks dad jokes. There are also diver puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did a Chinese olympic diver receive a standing ovation?
Yellow and Green are Brazil's national colors.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't make that here."
Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.
He gets up and leaves.
He takes a seat and orders a Polynesian Pearl Diver.
What's the difference between a scuba diver and a crane driver?
The crane driver uses a bottle.
I think I'd be a good deep sea diver..
..because I work well under pressure
Why do divers fall backwards out of the boat whilst diving?
Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat.
What did the whale say to the diver?
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooo."
What did the whale say to the marine biologist?
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooo."
What did the whale say to my wife?
"Hey; you should lose weight."
DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Did you hear about the scuba diver who had trouble swimming?
He was under a lot of pressure.
I had sex with an irresponsible scuba diver.
I was in too deep.
Why did the turtle snap at the diver?
He was under a lot of pressure
A divers reached 300 meters under the sea
Diver : the pressure here is immense
Fish : all the cool kids take drugs
Diver : all the cool kids you say?
The best way to get the most diversity recognition is firing your diversity officer for not being diverse enough.
What did the pianist say to the cave diver?
C Sharp or B Flat
Why do divers drop backwards to dive?
If they'd drop forward, they'd land in the boat!
Why do divers fall back in the water after suiting up?
Because if they fall forward, they land IN the boat.
What is Spongebob's favorite song?
Holey Diver
What did the Thai soccer player say to the rescue diver?
I didn't want to follow the coach but I eventually caved in
Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment
They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.
Now that Neymar's out of the World cup, he's heading to Thailand.
To rescue those kids, no better diver in the world.
The best diver has been sent to Thailand to rescue the boys trapped in the cave
Neymar has left the World Cup and on his way there
Yo Mamma so fat...
Yo mamma so fat, that when you were being delivered at the hospital the doctor had to send in a rescue diver. He pulled out you, 11 other kids, and a soccer coach.
A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber penises, floated in the vicinity.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?
He wanted to have a manta-man talk
(I'm so sorry)
Why couldn't the one-eyed scuba diver gauge how far he dove?
He had no depth perception
What's the similarity between a scuba diver and a tortured person?
They both go underwater.
Why do divers have to dive backwards to get in the water?
Because if they dive forward, they fall on the boat.
Why did a diver that took a picture of fishes got arrested?
He shot a school of fish.
Whats the difference between
An epileptic clam diver and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic clam diver Shucks Between Fits
A scuba diver bends into a bar
Sadly, he died.
Why do divers always fall off the boat backwards?
Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat.
What do you call a dog underwater?
A Scooby diver
*My seven year old asked me to post this here.
A diver is applying a job
Hiring manager: what is your ability?
Diver: i can work under pressure
Do you know why divers fall backwards into the water.
If they fall forward they will fall on the boat floor
You can't have Juan ...
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health
From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams.
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"That much?"
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the diver underwater jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working diver swam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.