The Best 29 Distract Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Distract jokes. There are some distract communists jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these distract opponents puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Distract Jokes and Puns
While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn't seem amused...
**It must have been the delivery.**
I don't get what's so hard about No Nut November
It's the 3rd day and I haven't eaten any nuts yet. I just distract myself by constantly masturbating all day.
I got distracted today while driving and rear-ended the car in front of me.
The car door opened and out hopped the driver. He stormed up to me, all 3' 9" of him, and angrily blurted out "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
*"Which one are you then?"*
Is cakeday. Comment with best Latvian joke.
Make laugh. Is good distract from malnourish.
Its easy to distract fat people
It's a piece of cake
Urgent message to all older men...
There has been a terrible spate of robberies by a gang of young women. Their MO is to pull you over on the road and hitch a ride. They always wear skimpy bikinis, then start to rub themselves on you while you're driving in order to distract you. One of them then sneakily steals your wallet. I have already lost four wallets this week. But you can buy cheap wallets at the dollar store.
Urologist told me a joke during my vasectomy...
So during my vasectomy it was just me and the younger female doctor in the room. She was talking with me to distract me and said you want to hear a good vasectomy joke? Of course I said yes, not knowing it was going to go this way.
If a Bluebird has blue babies, a blackbird has black babies, a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?
A Swallow!
Don't let this election distract you...
From the fact that Slytherin blew a 472 to 312 point lead to Gryffindor for the House Cup during the trophy presentation ceremony at Hogwarts back in 1992.
Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..
..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776
Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you
From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
A man with a family and a 5 year old daughter frequently visited his hot neighbour at her house in morning.
But the neighbour had a son who was about 6 years old. One day, as a way to distract and have some private time with his mother, he said
A: Go to the patio and look at my house to see if anyone's there. If you find anyone inform me.
The son went as usual to check the neogbour's house and returend after half an hour and he said
Son: i didnt see anyone except your daughter who stood on the patio for half an hour like me!
You can explore distract seduce reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean distract homework dad jokes. There are also distract puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?
To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.
Sunday is Go Topless day but I'm not going to let it distract me...
I plan to go to the park and exercise hard
Don't let the Australians' defeat in the Emu War distract you from the fact that...
the Americans lost to Gorilla Warfare.
A man and his friend were being chased by a bunch of thugs
The man ran into a circular building so that he could distract them from his friend who was a slow runner, he was alone in the circular building and had to fight them alone.
5 minutes later he came out unscathed.
His friend asked, "How did you get out of there alive?"
"They couldn't corner me."
If you need a distraction from the election there is a new American reality TV series starting soon.
It's called The White House. Apparently the lead actor has been given a 4 season contract.
Distracted driving can be very dangerous
It can hit you when you leas
How many hits of acid do I need before I can change a light bulb?
Two. One to help me get the ladder and the other to distract all the spiders. Oh god - - there are SPIDERS everywhere!! And now they're purple cows. With fangs. Only 8 more hours of blblblblblblblblbl.
I committed a crime while costumed like a Ginger to distract the cops
It was a real Red Hairing
It's very easy to distract a fat person....
....it's a piece of cake!!!
Source: Jimmy Carr
Don't let this Superbowl distract you...
from the fact that the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead.
in response to a deleted post: How do you apologise when you're wrong? [knock knock joke]
Me: knock knock
(assuming they're still speaking to me and know what to say next)
Them: Who's there?
Me: Kenya Fork
Them: ...Kenya Fork who?
Me: Ken ya forg-ive me?! I'm sorry
(Works well to distract them from the fact that you were wrong about something by the lameness of the joke!)
Roger Ailes passing is another attempt by Fox news to distract from trump/russia
Now that's *deadication*
Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?
Because he couldn't concentrate
As a dyslexic rapper,
It's hard to release a distract without getting disstracked.
Don't let the Australians losing a war against Emus distract you from the fact that
The Americans lost a war against Gorillas
Do You know that guy who told communist jokes to distract you so that his friends could steal your wallet?
I don't know but I guess you could say he was Stalin
All conspiracy theories are false.
They're cooked up by the government to distract people from what they're doing.
A distracted man walks off a cliff while talking on his phone.
He was sentenced to death.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the distract deter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working distract entertain piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.