Distortions Jokes
5 distortions jokes and hilarious distortions puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about distortions that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Distortions Jokes With Friends
Distortions Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good distortions joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The man who invented distorted mirrors has died.
His f**... will be held in asymmetry.
Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.
Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processes it is intended to monitor.
Cole's law: A salad dish of shredded raw cabbage, carrots, and other vegetables mixed with mayonnaise.
Two cartographers, Mercator and Mollweide are sitting in a room
Mercator: Your map has too much distortion!
Mollweide: Looks like you have a problem with projection...
I practised my sweeping and tapping for a Mary Poppins audition...
I didn't get the part. They said I used too much distortion.
Twin Sisters
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in a nursing home and the editor of the local newspaper, "The Distorter", told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin ladies.
One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAID, WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE!"
So they wiggled up close to each other.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer.
Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS HE'S JUST GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US???"
Share These Distortions Jokes With Friends