Distinct Jokes
13 distinct jokes and hilarious distinct puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about distinct that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Distinct Short Jokes
Short distinct jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The distinct humour may include short unique jokes also.
- The Thinker by Rodin is... Rodin’s masterpiece sculptural work The Thinker is based on a distinctive Xi’an figure with a disturbed expression. The Terracotta Worrier.
- Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery? Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!
- A traveler meets a blind hermit Who tells him:"There's a clear distinction between us, young man", to which the traveler responds thoughtful: I see.. "
- Why is the Sagittarius distinct from other constellations? Because it is the centaur of attention.
- What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't? I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.
- Patriotism. Being in the American military gives one the rare and distinctively American opportunity to live under a bridge that may one day be posthumously dedicated to you.
- Do you remember that group of whales that had a distinct higher pitch to their songs? I believe they were Orcastrato
- There were five distinctive wet little thuds against the garden fence.... That told me mowing the lawn in my flip flops may not have been a great idea.
- I threw my phone out the window. It fell and broke. I am outraged. I distinctly remember putting it in flight mode first!
- Quarantining and social distancing for coronavirus has caused dating to become less distinct It's harder to make out
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Distinct One Liners
Which distinct one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with distinct? I can suggest the ones about distinguish and exclusive.
- The distinction between a sibling and a half-sibling is apparent.
- What do you call a flaccid snake? A reptile distinction.
Unearthly Funniest Distinct Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about distinct you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strict jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make distinct pranks.
I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...
On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.
A panda walks into a bar...
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
A panda walks into a restaurant
and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter.
As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter, and you didn't even pay for your sandwich!"
"Hey, man, I'm a PANDA!" the panda shouts back. "Look it up!
"The manager opens his dictionary and reads: "Panda: a tree-dwelling-mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white-coloring. Eats, shoots and leaves."
Why does the head of EA like micro transactions so much?
It describes two distinct parts of his s**... life
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
So my son came home drunk at 2am.
I said, "excuse me, but you are out past curfew and I distinctly smell beer on your breath." "No dad, I'm sorry I'm home late but I wasn't drinking. My buddies and I were eating froglegs." So I looked at him and said, "I have been around for a while I know what beer smells like." He started to panic and said,"dad you're just smelling the hops."
EDIT : Apostrophe
Preacher gets pulled over.
The officer asks for ID, when he says
"what have you had to drink tonight?"
The preacher replies
"Only water, sir."
The officer insists "I distinctly smell wine on your breath!"
The preacher, with a confident retort, says
"d**..., he's done it again."
The FBI is interviewing a bank manager who's been robbed 3 times by the same guy.
The agent says, "did you notice anything distinct about him when he came into the bank?"
Manager replies, "only that each time he showed up, he was much better dressed."
Hero of the Soviet Union
[[ Here's a joke from Soviet Russia. "Hero of the Soviet Union" was the highest distinction awarded. ]]
A fisherman catches a wish-granting goldfish. The goldfish tells him to wish for anything.
"I want to be a Hero of the Soviet Union", he says.
A moment later, the fisherman finds himself in Kursk. There are 5 Panzers approaching, and he has three grenades.
