Distillery Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Who would win in a drinking game between an Irishman and a Scotsman?

The distillery.

Two Chinese Guys Break Into a Distillery

The one guy looks to his friend and asks: "Is it whiskey?"

His friend replies: "Yea, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."

My great-grandfather started up an underground distillery during Prohibition

It was a whiskey business

Two Chinese men break into a distillery

One turns to the other and says is this whiskey? The other replies yes, but not a whisky as wobbing a bank.

Two chinese men break into a distillery one night

One of them grabs a bottle, takes a swig and asks his friend: "Is this whiskey?"

His friend replied nodding: "yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"

what causes arthritis?

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

I want to start my own distillery, but i'm a bit hesitant....

it's a whisky business.

Is it whisky?

Two Chinese men break into a Scottish Distillery. One turns to the other and says "is it whisky?". His accomplice turns to him and says "yes! But not as whisky as wobbing a bank".

Did you hear about the allegations on the forged distillery?

Sorry, fake brews.


A drunkard gets home and he's banging on the door for his wife to open.

"C'mon baby! Open up!"

"I'm not letting you in smelling like a distillery!

"C'mon baby... I've been mugged!"

"Oh my God" she thinks as she runs down the stairs to open up for him. "Let me look at you! Are you hurt, baby? Are you missing something? What did they take from you?"

" $175 and she had the smallest tits I've seen."

Two Jewish brothers started up a craft beer distillery

called He-Brews

If Tom Cruise owned a liquor distillery, what would he call it?

Whiskey Business

A man falls into a vat at a scotch distillery...

he drowns in the vat and the workers decide that despite this they'll still bottle this batch.

While tasting they agreed that despite the odd taste it was full bodied.

Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?

Because he couldn't concentrate

What are the funniest distillery jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Distillery? Well, here are the best Distillery puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Distillery pick up lines to share with friends.


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