disrespect Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious disrespect puns

A trucker walks into a whorehouse..

The Madam walks up to the trucker and says "How can I help you?" to which the trucker replies " I have $1000, I want the ugliest, meanest, foul mouthed women you have." The Madame says "for $1000 you have can the sexiest, smoothest, most beautiful lady we have." the Trucker replies" ma'am I mean no disrespect, but I'm not horny, I'm homesick"

Courtesy of my late grandfather.


Fergie sang that anthem so bad

Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the anthem like that


I saw my disrespectful co-worker today she was hot.

"Wow, words can't describe how pretty you are." I said walking up to her.

She then replied looking at me as if I was a creep: "Uh thanks.. weirdo"

"But numbers can" I smirked.

"2/10. Bitch."


"You want to know the most disrespected man in the world?"

"Jesus Christ Dave I'm trying to concentrate!"

"You know it."


Disrespectful parrot.

A little girl is playing around her sleeping dad, when she notices that her dad is naked from the waist down under the blanket. Curious, she wakes up her dad and point to his junk and asks him what is it? Her dad embarrassed tries to explain keeping her innocence,
"sweetheart, this is a parrot, the one's in the bottom are its eggs and the foliage surrounding it is its nest". Saying that he sends her away and goes back to sleep.
A few hours later the girls mom comes home and is shocked to find EMT's taking her husband in an ambulance. While the little girl sits terrified and crying. The mom runs to her and asks what happened?
"Mommy, i got bored and decided to play with the parrot, but after a few minutes of playing the parrot spit on me and i got angry. So i cut the parrots neck, smashed its eggs with a wrench and burned its nest".



If you use the term "respectively" respectfully or you use the term "respectively" disrespectfully, I have a lot of respect for you and I disrespect you, respectively.


A man walks into a hardware store to buy a file

A man walked into a hardware store to buy a metal file. The clerk asks him which one he wants and he says "that flat bastard right there." The clerk gets angry and says that she will not be talked to like that and calls the owner to deal with the unruly customer. The owner comes down and explains that a flat bastard is a type of file and the customer meant no disrespect. The clerk apologized and sold the file to the man. Another man walks into the store asking for a file. The clerk points up and asks if he would like a flat bastard. The man says "no thank you but you can give me that round mother fucker right there"


What do you call 2 Muslim people fighting?

Halal beef....hahaha

***just a joke, no disrespect :)


My kid lost his first tooth today.

Hopefully he learned not to disrespect me.


I hired someone to relentlessly disrespect and make fun of me, but I was let down.

It was a diss-appointment.


I heard a joke so good that I didn't even laugh at it

Sorry, but didn't want to disrespect it.


My wife and I disagree on spanking our son but I just did it anyway.

That will teach him to disrespect the gift I got him for his 30th birthday.


What are the most funny Disrespect jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Disrespect? Well, here are the best Disrespect dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Disrespect pick up lines to share with friends.


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