The Best 28 Dispute Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dispute jokes. There are some dispute lawyer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dispute counsel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dispute Jokes and Puns

My neighbor and I are having a land dispute.

Well, it's actually more of a ground beef.

These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...

It got really nasty and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.

The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.

Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics

He names it: The Math Debate Club

There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting.

Dispute joke, Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics

How do two black boards settle their dispute?

They chalk it out

Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute?

The court of A-peels


My ex-wife calls me "earthquake."

Because whenever we have a dispute, I'm always at fault.

Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag.

It was a briefcase.

Dispute joke, Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag.

How did the virus and the vaccine end their dispute?

They immunocompromised.

I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars...

... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.

Two american tourists are having lunch at a McDonald's in Leicester square

They are arguing how to pronounce Leicester. To solve their dispute, they decide to walk up to the counter and ask the cashier.

"Excuse me ma'am, but can you tell me where we are? But can you pronounce it slowly, as you see, we're not from around here."

The cashier nods and says "Mic...don...alds"

I dispute those studies that claim people often die from smoking.

My uncle smoked, and he only died once.

You can explore dispute spat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dispute altercation dad jokes. There are also dispute puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There are two types of people on Indian roads

Traffic Police and a beggar.
One doesn't leave you until you give some money and other is the begger.
I told this joke to my friend and he was offended because his father was a traffic police. Then we settled the dispute for 25 dollars

A dispute between two vegans at green grocers shop turned violent when one of them started throwing a leaf vegetable with somewhat jagged leaves at the other! The second vegan responded by picking them up and hurling them back!

It was either kale or be kaled.

I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler.

He lost my case.

The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder:

ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?

Why do tectonic plates keep rubbing each other up without any reason?

They have some dispute over whose fault it is.

Dispute joke, Why do tectonic plates keep rubbing each other up without any reason?

God and the devil were in a dispute over a broken fence.

God said you have to pay for half.

The devil said "not paying"

God said "you have to, or I'll sue!"

The devil laughed and said "where are you gonna get a lawyer?

What do you call it when a non-binary gendered couple has a legal dispute over custody of their children?

A transparency review.

Bready dispute

I heard a couple of Pakistani friends of mine arguing for hours about bread rolls.

It was much Urdu about muffins.


Why is it a terrible idea to get in a legal dispute with anyone at the sanitation department?

They have lots of Sewers

What do you call a border dispute along tectonic plates that's settled through improv?

Whose Fault Line is it Anyway?

If an orange or banana gets a ticket...

They must dispute it in the court of apeels

Nasreddin hodja imparting wisdom (Original in Turkish, let's see if this works)

Two guys were in dispute and came to Nasreddin Hodja for his wisdom. Hodja listenened to the first one and said, "You are right". He listened to the second one, and said "You are right, too". His wife overheard this and said to Hodja, "Hodja these men provided completely diffrent viewpoints, but you said they were both right. What kind of wisdom is this? Hodja said, "You are right, as well".

Me and the judge in the Traffic Court.

Me: your honor, i'm here to dispute 4 of my 5 tickets

Judge: i see, repeat infractions?

Me: Ok i'm here to dispute ⁴/₅ of my tickets

How do you solve a dispute between rebellious daimyo and the shogun?

With a Manga Carta.

The President of China got in a dispute with premier Li keqiang

It turned out to be a real he-said-Xi-said story

How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging?

Call customer service to dispute the purchase.

A PhD in Fencing would be pretty useful...

... if you ever had a backgarden dispute with a neighbor.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dispute micky jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dispute catan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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