Dispute Jokes
35 dispute jokes and hilarious dispute puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dispute that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn about the use of dispute jokes to resolve legal cases in court. Find out how humor and comedy can help end a brawl or spat without a drawn-out court battle. Discover what types of jokes can be used in dispute resolution.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Dispute Short Jokes
Short dispute jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dispute humour may include short disagreement jokes also.
- I've been reading so much about the scary trade disputes between the US and Canada, I see headlines when I blink... ...Frankly, I'm tariff-eyed.
- Mike Tyson starts a club to dispute the fundamental rules of mathematics He names it: The Math Debate Club
There was a lot of confusion in their first meeting. - My ex-wife calls me "earthquake." Because whenever we have a dispute, I'm always at fault.
- Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag. It was a briefcase.
- I went into walmart to buy the album "Get Rich or Die Trying" but I had to dispute the price when it rang up for ten dollars... ... because it clearly says 50 Cent on it.
- I dispute those studies that claim people often die from smoking. My uncle smoked, and he only died once.
- I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler. He lost my case.
- The ISDS (Investor-State Dispute Settlement) clause of TTIP sounds so crazy that I begin to wonder: ISDS the real life? Or ISDS just fantasy?
- Why do tectonic plates keep rubbing each other up without any reason? They have some dispute over whose fault it is.
- What do you call it when a non-binary gendered couple has a legal dispute over custody of their children? A transparency review.
Share These Dispute Jokes With Friends
Dispute One Liners
Which dispute one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dispute? I can suggest the ones about conflict and debate.
- Americans: "This is not who we are." ⓘ This claim is disputed
- My neighbor and I are having a land dispute. Well, it's actually more of a ground beef.
- How do two black boards settle their dispute? They chalk it out
- Where did the two bananas settle their legal dispute? The court of A-peels
- How did the virus and the vaccine end their dispute? They immunocompromised.
- I helped two Vietnamese brothers settle a dispute It really was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation
- Why is there never domestic disputes at a horses house? Because they are the most stable.
- If an orange or banana gets a ticket... They must dispute it in the court of apeels
- How do you solve a dispute between rebellious daimyo and the shogun? With a Manga Carta.
- What do you call someone who resolves construction toy disputes? A duplomat
- How does a bunch of urophiliac dwarfs settle their disputes? With a Pee-low fight
- So where do hypebeasts go to settle clothing disputes? The Supreme Court
- Don't be disputing with Putin... Or you'll make Vlad mad.
- Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court! - In the good old days, the disputes ended with a fight. Now they end up with Google.
Giggle-Inducing Dispute Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about dispute you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arguing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dispute pranks.
These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...
It got really n**... and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.
The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.
Two american tourists are having lunch at a McDonald's in Leicester square
They are arguing how to pronounce Leicester. To solve their dispute, they decide to walk up to the counter and ask the cashier.
"Excuse me ma'am, but can you tell me where we are? But can you pronounce it slowly, as you see, we're not from around here."
The cashier nods and says "Mic...don...alds"
There are two types of people on Indian roads
Traffic Police and a beggar.
One doesn't leave you until you give some money and other is the begger.
I told this joke to my friend and he was offended because his father was a traffic police. Then we settled the dispute for 25 dollars
A dispute between two vegans at green grocers shop turned violent when one of them started throwing a leaf vegetable with somewhat jagged leaves at the other! The second vegan responded by picking them up and hurling them back!
It was either kale or be kaled.
God and the devil were in a dispute over a broken fence.
God said you have to pay for half.
The devil said "not paying"
God said "you have to, or I'll sue!"
The devil laughed and said "where are you gonna get a lawyer?
Bready dispute
I heard a couple of Pakistani friends of mine arguing for hours about bread rolls.
It was much Urdu about muffins.
