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Dispose Jokes

27 dispose jokes and hilarious dispose puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dispose that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dispose Short Jokes

Short dispose jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dispose humour may include short dump jokes also.

  1. Just realized I really like eggs Benedict when they're served on disposable dishes.. There's just no plates like foam for the Hollandaise
  2. When I was young I remember me and my crush behind the school bins. Fortunately I didn't get caught disposing of her body.
  3. Occam's Disposable Razor When given multiple equally valid choices, choose the one that costs the least money.
  4. I've just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead. There was a lot of thinking outside of the box.
  5. Do you know what they say about Bomb Disposal Operators? They only make one mistake in their whole life.
  6. What is the difference between a corrupt cop and a disposable camera? A disposable camera doesn't have to reload 3 times to take 30 shots.
  7. Scientists are using a new geometric formula to produce hypodermic needles that can be used up to ten times before being disposed. They're calling this new product the "Hypo- ten use"
  8. A little known fact about English footballer Danny Welbeck. His father was a bomb disposal expert called Stan.
  9. The plumber was so generous with his time I asked how long he could stay to fix that other problem I had with the sink and he said … I'm at your disposal
  10. What is someone doing when they are disposing of diseased radishes? Dropping some ill beets.

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Dispose One Liners

Which dispose one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dispose? I can suggest the ones about quit and disposal.

  1. If at first you don't succeed... ... then bomb disposal probably isn't the career for you
  2. If Beyblade's were a video game the final boss would be a garbage disposal
  3. I used to know a bomb disposal expert He wasn't very good
  4. What does a 90's kid get when they see a disposable camera? a flashback
  5. My son fed half of the petting zoo. That was the best way to dispose of the body.
  6. The best bodies... ...are the ones that dispose of themselves.
  7. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of civil waste disposal systems I'm a real connisewer
  8. Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert?
    A: "Yes, the red wire."
  9. What do you call an amputated finger? Disposable thumb
  10. I couldn't live with my mistakes anymore... So I became a bomb disposal technician
  11. My friends are like my disposable income, non existent.
  12. I like my men like I like my tea in little disposable bags
  13. I prefer my women like I like my phone… silent, yet always at my disposal.
  14. The rat was hungry but he had a lot of garbage at his disposal.
  15. How do you dispose of a human body Wait this isn't Google
Dispose joke, How do you dispose of a human body

Howlingly Hilarious Dispose Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about dispose you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean withdraw jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dispose pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Man, you gotta hand it to Elon Musk…

He knows how to dispose of a dead body in style.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I found a used c**... in my son's bed.

Clearly my wife and I forgot to dispose of it.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Need advice: I'm 35 years old but due to drinking problems I have the liver of a 65 year old

I got drunk and before I knew it I was performing surgery on an older man. How can I either dispose of his liver or sell it on the black market?

How does Tom Wolfe dispose of the debris from his bathroom remodel?

He has a bonfire of the vanities.
I'll let myself out.

I would travel to the moon and back for my wife.

If I had nowhere else to dispose of the body.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How does J R.R. Tolkein dispose of dead bodies?

Boil 'em Mash 'em Stick 'em in a stew

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the best way to dispose of bodies?

Put the ashes in the donuts.

A blonde, brunette, and a red head...

So a blonde, brunette,and a red head are each forced to kill their husbands and dispose of the corpse. They all kill their victim and have the responsibility of disposing of the body so they all throw the body in the trunks of their cars. Now, they each have to drive to the location where they can safely dispose of the body. The red head gets in her car and decides she'll drive in the left lane since that's the fast lane, so she can go fast, get to the location quickly, and dispose of the body. A cop pulls her over for going too fast, she gets a ticket but gets back on her way to get rid of the body, no problem. Brunette gets into her car decides she'll drive in the right lane since that's the lane with slower traffic, to not look suspicious. Cop pulls her over for driving too slow and impeding traffic, gives her a ticket but she continues on her way, no problem. Blonde gets into her car decides to drive in the HOV lane since she never sees anyone there it'll be a smooth ride to the location. Cop pulls her over for driving in the HOV lane with only person. Cop writes her a ticket for that, blonde reads the ticket and says "No, officer, I'm not the only person in the car I have my husband in the trunk.
Made it up myself not the best but I think it is OC

Dispose joke, A blonde, brunette, and a red head...