The Best 60 Display Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Display jokes. There are some display shown jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these display showcase puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Display Jokes and Puns

A Broken Watch

A guy is walking down the street and suddenly notices that his watch has stopped working. As he stands there musing over this discovery, he notices that the display window of a nearby shop has several dozen watches and clocks in it.

The man steps inside the door of the shop and asks the proprietor, "Excuse me, my watch has stopped working. I wonder if you can repair it for me?"

The proprietor looks up from his desk and says, "What are you talking about? I'm not a watchmaker--I'm a mohel. I perform circumcisions."

Confused, the gentleman asks, "Well then why do you have so many watches and clocks in your window?"

The mohel calmly replies, "What would you prefer that I display?"

A guy passes by a shop with three beautiful watches in the window...

He goes inside, and says to the proprietor: "Those are beautiful watches you have on display, how much for one?"

The proprietor says: "Oh, those aren't for sale. We don't make watches here, we do circumcisions."

The man is a bit taken aback: "If you do circumcisions, why do you have watches in your shop window?"

The proprietor says: "Well, what would you put in the window?"

So I bought a pedometer the other day...

I think it's broken. The display keeps reading "TOO OLD".

Display joke, So I bought a pedometer the other day...

I saw an entire display of beer fall over onto a small child
at the grocery store today.

Luckily the kid was okay. It was Bud Light.

Last year I took a visual design class...

...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display.

I passed with flying colors.


Coloured Eggs

A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.

The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.

A Zen Buddhist and a Christian got in a fight over a neighborhood nativity scene last winter. The Buddhist trashed the 3 Wisemen display right before he went to temple.


They charged him with premeditated myrrhder.

Display joke, A Zen Buddhist and a Christian got in a fight over a neighborhood nativity scene last winter. The Bu

What's common to the cockpit of a modern fighter aircraft and the inside of a headhunter's hut?

The heads-up display

What does the lunar eclipse have in common with the baboon?

They both display a red moon.

vintage Bush joke

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

An art museum in Virginia...

An art museum in Virginia recently opened an exhibition of Robert Mapplethorpe's male nudes. The display of that kind of art in a conservative state has lead to a great deal of local controversy, with local church groups picketing the museum, along with counter-demonstrators by art lovers, civil libertarians, and gay rights groups.

The local paper has begun referring to it as the Battle of Manasses.

You can explore display pensively reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean display gallery dad jokes. There are also display puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I fell over a toilet roll display at my local supermarket

I cut my leg badly and was rushed to hospital. I said to the doctor, "what's the damage" He replied, "just some torn tissue".

My son has been really nervous ever since he lost the specimen he was going to display at his upcoming insect "show and tell" seminar

i just hope he doesn't have butterflies in his stomach

A man walks into a t-shirt store...

There are 3 shirts on display.

The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."

How many X does it take to change a light bulb?

N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!

The Pope and Hillary Clinton

The Pope and Hillary Clinton are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leans towards Hillary and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in the crowd go wild with joy? The joy will not be a momentary display , but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice."

Hillary replied, "I seriously doubt that with one little wave of your hand that is possible; show me."

His Holiness then backhanded Hillary and knocked her off the stage! The crowd roared and cheered wildly and there was happiness throughout the land.

Display joke, The Pope and Hillary Clinton

COUNTING CONDOMS

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

Why don't dentists display their awards?

Because they want to prevent plaque build-up.

Where does the Emperor keep all his past dead Sith's gear for display?

The Sithsonian.


An artist gets some good and bad news.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy is your doctor !"

Slightly adapted for translation

A black guy walks into a gun shop and asks the fellow behind the counter:

-Do you have rifles?

-No.

-Do you have shotguns?

-No.

-Pistols?

-No.

Confused, the black guy exits the shop and realizes the shop has all those items on display. Angered, he runs in and confronts the seller:

-What do you have against black people?!

-Rifles, shotguns, pistols...

What do you call a display of Australian patriotism?

Stockholm Syndrome.

A black man walks into a gun store in Texas.

"I would like to see that glock on the display wall"
"I am sorry sir we are out of stock for those" replied the salesman.
"Ok, show me the one beside it, the rifle"
"We are out of those, as well"

Suspecting the salesman is a racist he goes to a lawyer.
When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against blacks..." when he is interrupted.
"Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns..."

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The gentleman was your doctor."

What's more annoying than a monkey trying to steal your banana?

Working at a Tesco supermarket in Produce, putting out loose bananas on display, and while trying to do so, customers keep barging their way in to you and remove the lovely bananas you just put there and leave with a remark on the lines of, "Sorry, I'm just going to ruin your display, HA HA".

Selling Condoms

An 18-yr-old starts work as a pharmacist's assistant. The pharmacist is showing the new kid around the aisles when they stop at the condom display and the kid asks why they come in different quantities per package.

The pharmacist tells the noob that the 3-packs are for high school guy, who gets it on once on Friday night, once on Saturday and once on Sunday.
The 6-packs are for the more-experienced college guys, who do it twice each on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday.

So the kid says, "what about these 12-packs?"

The pharmacist replies "the 12-packs are for the guys who've been married for a long time - January, February, March..."

Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians

Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.

Time to update my display to 4K.

I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room.

For Jesus.

What is it called what a man goes down on a woman in a bar?

A pub.lic display of affection

Where does the White House keep the broken, old and dirty crockery that is not suitable for public display?

Trump's Cabinet.

Pennsylvania and New Jersey changed their state mottos today in order to cut their highway budgets.

Now they both proudly display "Road Work Ahead. Expect Delays" on their welcome signs to better reflect the status of their roadways.

What's the difference between a circus and a whorehouse?

One is a display of cunning stunts.

I went to a space museum today but was a bit disappointed...

It was completely empty! Well, except for the black hole on display, but it sucked.

A guy walks into a store

He sees three brains on display.

One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250.

The second is a Republican Brain, priced at $275.

The third is a Democrat Brain, priced at $5,000,000.

The Guy asks the sales clerk, Man, why does the Democrat brain cost so much more than the other two? Clerk replies, Well, sir, that brain has never been used.

A pastor was giving a sermon on the evils of alcohol.

After endless anecdotes about its evils and dozens of bible passages regarding its sinfulness he concludes quite passionately that if it were up to him he'd dump all the town's booze into the river.

Following this display the organist leads the congregation in a hymn. They sang Shall we gather at the river?

This old Scottish friend of mine has saved every toothbrush he has used since childhood!

He even puts them both out on display occassionaly.

I guess you could say the iPhone X...

Really has a top-notch display

-Son, remember that in many ways, life is like a display of fireworks on a clear winter night.

-Beautiful?

-Nope. A pure loss, but fun none the less!

Where does a penguin keep his money?

In a snow bank!

(disclaimer: saw this on the display of a local bank and I giggled).

Mark zuckerberg and i were in a band once. We gave him a choice to play the melody, the harmony, or display our newsfeed in chronological order.

But no matter how much we didn't want him to, he kept insisting, "I'll go rhythms. "

Have to give it the iPhone x

It's display is top notch

What's on display at the French War Museum?

Running shoes

The Secretary of Defense sits in the Oval Office briefing Bush on Iraq...

"Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaims the president, "That's terrible!" His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.
Finally, he looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

My ex should go into archaeology.

He's excellent at digging up and analyzing the past to put on display.

I went to a store and there was a sample table on display with depleted batteries:

Needless to say, they were free of charge.

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

They reach the road junction, and the sign display "Disneyland Left".

So, sadly, they went home...

Local Republicans complained about a public display supporting the migrant caravan

The Church apologized for the offense but refused to take down their Nativity set.

Today I lost my cool, when this obnoxious, mediterranean exchange student barged into our art class. I was trying to paint the kiwi fruits we had on display for a still life. Really messed up my painting.

Nobody expects the spanish in kiwi-session.

Two pieces of underwear are hanging on display in a lingerie shop. One turns to the other and says:

"I love you brah."

Anthony Fauci is giving the President his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: ''Yesterday, 300 Brazilians died of COVID.'' ''Oh no!'' President Trump exclaims. ''That's terrible!'' His staff are stunned at this uncharacteristic display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, Trump looks up and asks: ''How many is a brazillion?''

The worst zoo I ever visited with my kids had only one animal on display and it was a dog!

It was a Shih Tzu

Rotating bezel? Personalized engraving? Date display?

NOT ON MY WATCH!!

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''

A guy goes to a department store and sees a display of thermoses...

"What is this thing?" he asks the sales rep. "Why that's a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold." "Oh neat!" the guy says, "I'll take one!" The next day he goes to work with his new thermos under his arm. His boss sees him and says "Hey what is that you got there?" The guys says, "It's a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold." "Wow that's awesome," his boss asks, "What do you have in there?" The guy answers, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Went to the optometrist office today and bumped into an old friend!

I also bumped into the optometrist, the receptionist and I knocked over their sunglasses display.

The Pope and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.

The Pope says to Trump, Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!

Trump replies, I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Show me!

So the Pope slapped him.

Joe Biden and Donald Trump are standing in front of a large crowd.

As they are waving to everyone, Biden leans towards Trump saying,

Did you know, that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? Also, this joy will not be merely a momentary display, like that of your followers, but will go deep into their hearts, and for the rest of their lives, whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!

Trump replies, I seriously doubt that, with one wave of your hand? Come on, show me!

So Biden slapped him.

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

I Just Started My Job as a Minister's Assistant

My local church just hired me to assist the minister, and so far the job is going very well. The only real challenge is that he's very particular about the display towards the front of the sanctuary. He insists that it be kept spotless at all times, decorated with the freshest flowers, and have every detail placed perfectly on it. After a few weeks of this, I decided to ask him about it.

"Excuse me, Pastor" I asked. "Why are you so fixated on the front display?"

"Oh, that" he replied. "It's just my altar ego."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the display store jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working display presentation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes