JokoJokes

Dispenses Jokes

25 dispenses jokes and hilarious dispenses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dispenses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Dispenses Short Jokes

Short dispenses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dispenses humour may include short jokes also.

  1. The bar down the street has a cologne dispenser in the men's room. But it has a sign on it that says, 'Out of Odor.'
  2. You'd have to be so dumb to buy an electronic salt dispenser. You're literally asking for a salt and battery in your own home.
  3. J-Lo's new nickname Jennifer Lopez is called J-Lo. She dropped the last 3 letters of her last name. She got rid of them. Dispensed with them.
    Doesn't that make her a pez dispenser?
  4. At the men's bathroom of the local college... ... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti:
    "Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."
  5. I learned recently that people aren't hospitable to water dispensing machines... Just let that sink in.
  6. There's a rumor going around at work that we're getting a new beverage dispenser. Management hasn't confirmed yet, so it could just be water cooler gossip.
  7. Did you hear that jennifer lopez started a campaign against dispenser candy? It's called J Lo for No Pez.
  8. 7 Eleven apparently had to remove paper towels from the bathroom because people were flushing them. Apparently they were having problems with it clogging the chili dispenser.
  9. Bill Cosby now makes commercials for wall-mounted soap dispensers. They cannot be dropped so easily.
  10. Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust.

Share These Dispenses Jokes With Friends




Dispenses One Liners

Which dispenses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dispenses? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. I hate that ATMs don't dispense coins. It just doesn't make cents.
  2. What do you call a baby that is fed breast milk? A mustard dispenser.
  3. Did you hear about the OJ Simpson Pez dispenser? Used to be his wife

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about dispenses can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of dispenses puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Dispenses Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about dispenses you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make dispenses prank.

Marriage Advice

It was a long time ago, but I still remember my Father dispensing this important advice, "Son, marry a girl who has the same belief as the whole family."

To which I replied, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who believes I'm a m**...?"

A Mexican man puts two quarters and a nickel into a vending machine to buy a soda

but the price is 65 cents. Instead of dispensing the soda the machine it reads "DIME" so the man leans in and says Quiero una Coca

I can't believe it.

Yesterday i saw some kids that were no older than 12 years, standing by a cigarette dispenser. As I was watching them, one boy looked to me and decided to talk to me:,,Hey mister! Would you be so kind and buy some cigarettes for us?". I was astonished. I couldn't believe what i just heard. When did kids become so d**... polite?

Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Linus Torvalds walk into a restroom in 2005...

When Bill Gates finishes doing his business, he goes to the sink, washes his hands, pulls 20 paper towels from the dispenser, and dries his hands completely as Steve Jobs walks up.
Bill says "at Microsoft, we like to be thorough."
Steve Jobs washes his hands even cleaner than Bill, then takes only one paper towel, using every last little bit of it, and still managing to dry his hands completely.
Steve says "at Apple, we like to be thorough AND efficient."
Just then, Linus Torvalds walks up to the sink and pulls out a laptop.
Bill and Steve give Linus a confused look. "what are you doing?" they ask.
Linus says "I'm reading the man page for the sink."

How to be Insulting in Banks: Try to use one of the automatic cash dispensers, but use it incorrectly. If it's inside the bank, do this until someone is sent to help you out, or until you're asked to leave. If it's outside the bank, kick the machine and try to open it with your car keys, a penknife or your umbrella.

Reading between the lines.

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.
Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.

the soap dispensing priest

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it , not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.
Having no place to hide , he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled , he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look" says the first nun , "it's a soap dispenser". To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough , he drops the second bar of soap. Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times but nothing happens. So she gives several more tugs , then yells..."Holy Mary , Mother of God , HAND LOTION TOO!"

A priest goes to take a shower late at night.....

After going in he realizes that there is no soap and remembers he has soap in his room.And Goes To Get Soap Without Getting Dressed.
He Grabs Two Bars Of Soap In His Hands From His Room And Heads Back To The Shower.
He Gets Halfway Down The Hall Suddenly He Sees Three Nuns Coming His Way.
He Find No Place To Hide Than He Stands Against The Wall And Freezes Like He is A Statue.
The Nuns Stop And Comment: How Original This Statue Is Looking.
The First Nun Go Further And Pulls His D*c**....
Startled, Father John Drops A Bar Of Soap.
First Nun: Oh Look, This Statue Is A Soap Dispenser.
To Test Her Theory the Second Nun Also Pulls His D*c**..., And Sure Enough He Drops The Last Bar Of Soap.
Now The Third Nun Then Pulls First Once, Then Twice And Three Times. Still Nothing Happens.
So She With Confusion Tries Once more time then she suddenly Yells: Holy Mary, Mother Of God, It's Liquid Soap This Time! www

So a priest is taking a bath late at night

So a priest is taking a bath late at night when he remembered that he forgot his soap in his room, he figured it's late and no one will be up so he rushed to his room without a towel around his waist, he got the soap but on his way back he heard two nuns walking by so he stands by the wall like a statue. The two nuns walk up to him and one of them says to the other "Look, it's that soap dispenser they said they were gonna bring" and she pulls his d**..., he quickly drops his soap. The second nun says "Oh, cool! I want to that too" and she pulls his thing and nothing happens so she tries a few more times then she turns to the first nun and says "Oh! I got liquid soap!".

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these dispenses jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.