Dispatch Jokes
5 dispatch jokes and hilarious dispatch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dispatch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read up for some of the funniest jokes about the French Dispatch. From suspects to deliveries to patrolling the streets, these jokes will have you on the floor.
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Happy Dispatch Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What is a good dispatch joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A group of police officers are sitting outside a woman's house after she murdered her husband
One calls dispatch and says "we got a woman armed with a knife in here and she just killed her husband."
Dispatch says "do you know why she killed her husband?"
The officer replies "yeah, she told him not to step on the floor right after she mopped, and he stepped on it anyway"
Dispatch asks "well do you have her in custody yet?"
"No not yet" the officer says
Dispatch says "Why not?"
The officer hesitates for a moment, then finally replies "well the floor still looks wet"
Two guys out hunting, one has a heart attack and falls dead.
Second guy calls 911.
Hunter: My friend just died of a heart attack!
Dispatcher: Calm down, first make absolutely sure he's dead.
Hunter: Okay hold on... \*BANG\* Okay now what?
a policeman calls for backup
Dispatch, we've got a h**... here. Looks like This old lady just shot her husband. She claims it was because he kept tracking dirt over her freshly mopped floors. Over
Understood, is the suspect in custody? Over.
No dispatch. The floor isn't dry yet.
An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel
When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.
"What happened?" his friend asked.
"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."
"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"
"Nobody told me they read right to left!"
Cop: Suspect is dancing n**... downtown.
Dispatcher: Copy that.
Cop: I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer.
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