Disorderly Jokes
123 disorderly jokes and hilarious disorderly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disorderly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Disorderly Short Jokes
Short disorderly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disorderly humour may include short jokes also.
- I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.
I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment. - My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
- What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist? "Let me be Frank with you."
- My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening
- Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder? *points thumbs at chest*
That guy. - Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.
She now have 45 lives. - I have an eating disorder... I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
- My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear. She has post traumatic dress disorder.
- I was diagnosed with Narcissictic Personality Disorder... ....or as I call it, Handsome Disease.
- My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder... And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him
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Disorderly One Liners
Which disorderly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disorderly? I can suggest the ones about and .
- There's no 'I' in 'team,' But there are six in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder.'
- Hi I'm Bob I'll be frank with you,
I have multiple personality disorder - My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried His life is at steak
- My boyfriend just left me because of my anxiety disorder!
- Why did the Mexican go to the psychiatrist? His-panic disorder.
- What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages? Peter Parkinsons
- Just found out I have multiple personality disorder I gotta tell the other guys
- Seasonal Affective Disorder More like Fall Damage, mirite?
- Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder. We're called "OC/DC."
- I had split personality disorder... Now we are cured.
- I deal with my anxiety disorder the same way I study for tests. I don't
- What do you call the outbreak of speaking disorders? The apocalisp
- What do you call a group of ducks quacking at once in a disorderly fashion? Quack-aphony
- I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go But it's not unusual
- What math class does a tree with a speech disorder take? Twigonometry.
Disorderly Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about disorderly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disorderly pranks.
OCD
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
How do you bid farewell to a s**... open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.
"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
A doctor diagnosed me with...
... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?
My girlfriend says I have compulsive lying disorder...
...she's right; I don't have a girlfriend.
A man walks up to another man...
...and in perfect unison they say to each other, How am I supposed to know if I suffer from narcissistic personality disorder? Taken aback they stare at each other for a few more moments. After a few seconds the owner walks over and says, Sir this is a mirror store. To which the man replied, SHUT UP! Can't you see I'm flirting?
I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,
I have mixed feelings about it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a personality disorder...
And so do I...
I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...
... just send them to concentration camps.
p**... Ejokeulation
What do you get when you cross someone with a s**... disorder and someone who ruins punchlines?
My psychiatrist said my exhibitionist disorder was incurable.
I'll show her.
What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder?
I've heard of it but don't know what it means?
I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour.
And call it Obsessive Disorders Control.
A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.
The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.
Mr. Peanut was arrested for drunk and disorderly at a local s**... Club
The arresting officer said it wasn't the first time he'd busted a nut in front of a stripper and it wouldn't be the last.
Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?
Because Sharon is Karen.
My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I bought him a snickers
If 2 vegans are having an argument....
True life story.
Patient: Can I tell you a joke
Me: Sure.
Patient: If 2 vegans are having an argument, is there still beef between them?
No eating disorders were harmed or diagnosed in the course of this joke.
What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ?
Unstable.
I'm fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder
But I wouldn't be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too
My brain made a vote today
Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder.
If a person with split personality disorder falls in love with someone
Do they refer to them as their better third?
How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?
Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.
A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...
Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."
The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...
"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."
"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."
I called an old friend and asked how he's been.
He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.
What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?
b**... your best friend's wife every night!
What's it like living with Permanent e**... Disorder?
Some days are harder than others.
I just read a book about Bipolar Disorder.
One hand I liked it and sent it to everyone I know, on the other hand I burned it and my house down.
Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.
There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.
That's baaad
A sheep goes to see a doctor.
"How are ewe doing today," he asks.
"I'm a little horse," she says.
"Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."
Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder
Crippling Depression
I finally talked to my therapist about my 5 bottle a day seltzer habit.
She diagnosed me with Buy Polar Disorder.
Why is it obvious when a shark has an eating disorder?
You can sea it's way too fin.
My doctor recently diagnosed me with a personality disorder
No he didn't.
I got a h**... from a girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was the best minute of my life...
Then the worst eleven minutes of my life.
I wake up happy, slowly get angrier, then eventually start lightening up and by bedtime I've come full circle and am happy one again
I've got pi-polar disorder
My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder.
I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."
I was recently diagnosed with an inflammatory disorder.
Apparently I say things that make people really angry.
My doctor just told me I have bipolar disorder.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.
What's the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder?
A tropical depression.
A man with a disorder that makes him urinate randomly is talking to another man with an Italian accent.
He is confused by his accent and asks what nationality he is. The Italian man replies, European!
What do you call a fruit that's high in potassium and likes disorder?
A bananachist.
What do you call that weird sensation when you are suddenly teleported from North Pole to South Pole or vice versa?
Bi-polar disorder.
A disordered protein is found brutally murdered. It looks like just another random robbery gone wrong.
A cop looks at the scene and laments:
"It's a crime without motif"
I told my patient that you have a Dissociative identity disorder.
He replied, "I have been waiting here for 10 minutes. Can I have my latte please?"
My roommate is spreading rumour that I have multiple personality disorder.
Well, three can play that game!
My friends always tell me I'm a real people person...
But my psychiatrist prefers the term 'multiple personality disorder.'
me at the docters
so I was at the docters and the docter said you have a peeing disorder and that u**... for a treat
I just got home from the psychiatrist and got some good and some bad news
The bad news: I got a bipolar disorder. And the good news: I got a
bipolar disorder.
Since Christians believe that God is The Father, The Son and The holy spirit
Clearly states that Jesus Christ suffered from Tripolar Disorder.
Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.
But, I've always been more of a people person.
I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder.
Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.
I would take them all over my ex-wife's one!
I do not have dissociative personality disorder
I don't.
Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"
Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.
What do you call a riot in a restaurant?
An eating disorder
Therapist: So what brings you two in today?
Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.
Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.
I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.
That's b**.... A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.
My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder...
I think he's just jealous of me
Yesterday I was diagnosed with ADD ( attention deficit disorder ) ...
I always suspected I had it, but I never paid any attention to it before.
If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40
The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder
Two patients were sitting in a mental hospital cafetaria
Suddenly on the table over, a man, sitting all alone, started laughing hysterically.
First patient asked, "What do you make of that?"
"What, Jimmy two-face over there? That guy has split personality disorder", said the second patient.
"So what?" said the first patient.
"So, one of them must have told a great joke."