The Best 79 Disorder Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Disorder jokes. There are some disorder compulsive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these disorder obsessive compulsive disorder puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Disorder Jokes and Puns


A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

How do you bid farewell to a sexually open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"

What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist?

"Let me be Frank with you."

I have an eating disorder...

I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.

... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!

... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.

... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.

... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?

My girlfriend says I have compulsive lying disorder...

...she's right; I don't have a girlfriend.

Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder?

*points thumbs at chest*

That guy.

Disorder joke, Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder?

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,

I have mixed feelings about it.

I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...

... just send them to concentration camps.

Premature Ejokeulation

What do you get when you cross someone with a sex disorder and someone who ruins punchlines?

What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder?

I've heard of it but don't know what it means?

You can explore disorder schizophrenia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean disorder therapy dad jokes. There are also disorder puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.

The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I bought him a snickers

My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me

She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening

What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ?


Disorder joke, What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ?

What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages?

Peter Parkinsons

My brain made a vote today

Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder.

Cat with mental disorder

The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.

She now have 45 lives.

If a person with split personality disorder falls in love with someone

Do they refer to them as their better third?

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go

But it's not unusual

A man with ejaculatory disorder ran up behind me...

Jesus he really came out of nowhere.

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."

"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"

"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

I called an old friend and asked how he's been.

He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.

Disorder joke, I called an old friend and asked how he's been.

What's it like living with Permanent Erection Disorder?

Some days are harder than others.

I just read a book about Bipolar Disorder.

One hand I liked it and sent it to everyone I know, on the other hand I burned it and my house down.

Everybody in my family has a disorder. My mom's depressed, my dad has ADHD, and my brother has autism.

There's nothing wrong with me though. I'm perfect.

That's baaad

A sheep goes to see a doctor.

"How are ewe doing today," he asks.

"I'm a little horse," she says.

"Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."

Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder

Crippling Depression

I finally talked to my therapist about my 5 bottle a day seltzer habit.

She diagnosed me with Buy Polar Disorder.

I deal with my anxiety disorder the same way I study for tests.

I don't

Why is it obvious when a shark has an eating disorder?

You can sea it's way too fin.

My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried

His life is at steak

My doctor recently diagnosed me with a personality disorder

No he didn't.

I got a handjob from a girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was the best minute of my life...

Then the worst eleven minutes of my life.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder...

And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him

I wake up happy, slowly get angrier, then eventually start lightening up and by bedtime I've come full circle and am happy one again

I've got pi-polar disorder

I had split personality disorder...

Now we are cured.

Hi I'm Bob

I'll be frank with you,
I have multiple personality disorder

I was diagnosed with Narcissictic Personality Disorder...

....or as I call it, Handsome Disease.

My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder.

I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."

I was recently diagnosed with an inflammatory disorder.

Apparently I say things that make people really angry.

My doctor just told me I have bipolar disorder.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.

What's the opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

A tropical depression.

A man with a disorder that makes him urinate randomly is talking to another man with an Italian accent.

He is confused by his accent and asks what nationality he is. The Italian man replies, European!

What do you call a fruit that's high in potassium and likes disorder?

A bananachist.

What do you call that weird sensation when you are suddenly teleported from North Pole to South Pole or vice versa?

Bi-polar disorder.

I told my patient that you have a Dissociative identity disorder.

He replied, "I have been waiting here for 10 minutes. Can I have my latte please?"

My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder.

Well, three can play that game!

me at the docters

so I was at the docters and the docter said you have a peeing disorder and that urine for a treat

I just got home from the psychiatrist and got some good and some bad news

The bad news: I got a bipolar disorder. And the good news: I got a
bipolar disorder.

Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder.

We're called "OC/DC."

Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.

But, I've always been more of a people person.

I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder.

Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.

I would take them all over my ex-wife's one!

Why did the Mexican go to the psychiatrist?

His-panic disorder.

Therapist: So what brings you two in today?

Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.

Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.

That's bullshit. A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.

My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder...

I think he's just jealous of me

Just found out I have multiple personality disorder

I gotta tell the other guys

Yesterday I was diagnosed with ADD ( attention deficit disorder ) ...

I always suspected I had it, but I never paid any attention to it before.

My boyfriend just left me because of my anxiety disorder!

Seasonal Affective Disorder

More like Fall Damage, mirite?

If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40

The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder

Two patients were sitting in a mental hospital cafetaria

Suddenly on the table over, a man, sitting all alone, started laughing hysterically.

First patient asked, "What do you make of that?"

"What, Jimmy two-face over there? That guy has split personality disorder", said the second patient.

"So what?" said the first patient.

"So, one of them must have told a great joke."

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family.

They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.

I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

USSR should've been called PTSD

Post-Tsarism Socialism Disorder

Doctor: I was told you have some kind of speech disorder. How bad is it?

Me: I can't complain.

My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear.

She has post traumatic dress disorder.

What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder?

A we're wolf.

Why did the clairvoyant visit the psychologist?

He was suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder.

Why was the airbender afraid to face the fire lord?

He had an aangxiety disorder.

My bro asked what's it like being diabetic?

I said it has its highs and lows I asked him what it was like to have Bipolar disorder, he said it has its ups and downs

I asked my dermatologist why she waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder

she replied she's reluctant to make a rash decision

I carry a notice with me to let other people know about my anxiety disorder.

It's my social insecurity card

I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help

My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder

But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.

My doctor says I have antisocial personality disorder.

At least, I think that's what he said. It was a bit hard to hear him through the duct tape.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the disorder attention deficit disorder jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working disorder borderline personality disorder piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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