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Disorder Jokes

144 disorder jokes and hilarious disorder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disorder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A collection of jokes about different mental disorders, including eating disorders, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, personality disorder, multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder, attention deficit disorder, fidget, dailysex, and schizophrenia. Get ready to laugh while learning more about different mental health conditions.

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Funniest Disorder Short Jokes

Short disorder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disorder humour may include short disease jokes also.

  1. I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.
    I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.
  2. My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.
  3. What did the woman with dissociative identity disorder tell her psychologist? "Let me be Frank with you."
  4. My girlfriend broke up with me because I am extremely handsome and too many girls want me She said something else about my chronic lying disorder but I wasn't really listening
  5. Who's got two thumbs and dissociative identity disorder? *points thumbs at chest*
    That guy.
  6. Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder.
    She now have 45 lives.
  7. I have an eating disorder... I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
  8. My wife hates it when I show her old pictures of what she used to wear. She has post traumatic dress disorder.
  9. I was diagnosed with Narcissictic Personality Disorder... ....or as I call it, Handsome Disease.
  10. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder... And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him

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Disorder One Liners

Which disorder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disorder? I can suggest the ones about illness and syndrome.

  1. There's no 'I' in 'team,' But there are six in 'Dissociative Identity Disorder.'
  2. Hi I'm Bob I'll be frank with you,
    I have multiple personality disorder
  3. My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried His life is at steak
  4. My boyfriend just left me because of my anxiety disorder!
  5. Why did the Mexican go to the psychiatrist? His-panic disorder.
  6. What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages? Peter Parkinsons
  7. Just found out I have multiple personality disorder I gotta tell the other guys
  8. Seasonal Affective Disorder More like Fall Damage, mirite?
  9. Everyone in our band has obsessive-complulsive disorder. We're called "OC/DC."
  10. I had split personality disorder... Now we are cured.
  11. I deal with my anxiety disorder the same way I study for tests. I don't
  12. What do you call the outbreak of speaking disorders? The apocalisp
  13. What do you call a group of ducks quacking at once in a disorderly fashion? Quack-aphony
  14. I have a disorder where I see Tom Jones lyrics wherever I go But it's not unusual
  15. What math class does a tree with a speech disorder take? Twigonometry.

Personality Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny personality disorder jokes and even better personality disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My brain made a vote today Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder.
  • My friends always tell me I'm a real people person... But my psychiatrist prefers the term 'multiple personality disorder.'
  • My roommate is spreading rumour that I have multiple personality disorder. Well, three can play that game!
  • My therapist just diagnosed me as a people's person… ..but he insists it's called multiple personality disorder.
  • Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend? Because Sharon is Karen.
  • My therapist told me I have narcissistic personality disorder... I think he's just jealous of me
  • My doctor says I have antisocial personality disorder. At least, I think that's what he said. It was a bit hard to hear him through the duct tape.
  • I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder They've assured me it's me who needs the group and I'm getting enrolled next week. I'm so grateful for their help
  • If a person with split personality disorder falls in love with someone Do they refer to them as their better third?
  • What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ? Unstable.

Eating Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny eating disorder jokes and even better eating disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A girl came into my bookstore and asked... A girl came into my bookstore and asked, "what are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
    Slim to nun?
  • Did you hear about the guy that tried to get a date at a facility for women with eating disorders? It was slim pickings.
  • A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?" Slim to Nun?
  • If Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 40 The NFL would just say he has an eating disorder
  • Why is it obvious when a shark has an eating disorder? You can sea it's way too fin.
  • What do you call a riot in a restaurant? An eating disorder
  • I'm fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn't be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too
  • I have an eating disorder. Eating 'dis order isn't enough
  • I'm depressed and have a eating disorder... I ate my life.
  • What do you call an Indian with an eating disorder? Binjita.
Disorder joke, What do you call an Indian with an eating disorder?

Multiple Personality Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny multiple personality disorder jokes and even better multiple personality disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a monster with multiple personality disorder? A we're wolf.
  • My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder. I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."
  • I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder. Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.
    I would take them all over my ex-wife's one!
  • Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy. But, I've always been more of a people person.
  • I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder.
    Now I feel like a distribution.
  • I wasn't sure about it... so I asked my other personalities if I had multiple personality disorder...
    They said I didn't.
  • Another therapist joke Therapist : I think you have multiple personality disorder
    Me : Oh my god you think I have a personality.
    Also me : Tell me something I dont know
  • What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder? b**... your best friend's wife every night!

Mental Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental disorder jokes and even better mental disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I tell all my dates I'm an open book. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.
  • I am half Spiderman, half batman and half moon knight... \- Poor
    \- With no powers
    \- With mental disorders
  • Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder Crippling Depression
  • What do you call it when a shark has a mental disorder? Jautism
  • I have a multitude of mental disorders....... hypochondria being the most prevalent
  • What's the difference between a psychologist and a dentist? One treats mental disorders... and the other treats dental mis-orders.
  • What's a incels most common mental disorder A irrational fear of objects
  • I heard internet addiction is now an official mental disorder and you can go to rehab for it. Guess I'm going only if there is only Wi-Fi.
  • I don't have any mental disorders. My other personalities aren't so lucky.
  • Video game addiction is now an official mental health disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder Jokes

Here is a list of funny borderline personality disorder jokes and even better borderline personality disorder puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does a Mexican take Xanax? For his Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder? An asylum seeker.
  • Why did the Mexican go to the shrink? Because he had Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • Did you hear about a mentally ill Mexican? He has Borderline Personality Disorder
Disorder joke, Did you hear about a mentally ill Mexican?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about disorder can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of disorder puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly Disorder Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about disorder you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sickness jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make disorder prank.

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.

How do you bid farewell to a s**... open Arctic animal with a mental disorder.

"Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"

Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

A doctor diagnosed me with...

... Paranoid Schizophrenia.
But he's just out to get me. So are you.
... Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Which means I am AWESOME!
... Multiple Personality Disorder.
But we don't believe him.
... Expressive Aphasia.
Cheddar concrete levitates archetypal moonbeams.
... Dementia.
But I maintain full cognitive... Um. What was the question?

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,

I have mixed feelings about it.

I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...

... just send them to concentration camps.

What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder?

I've heard of it but don't know what it means?

I'm going to start a foundation dedicated to helping people with obsessive behaviour.

And call it Obsessive Disorders Control.

A mailman, a boy, and a unicorn walk into a bar.

The woman gets a concussion, some stitches, and a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder.

Mr. Peanut was arrested for drunk and disorderly at a local s**... Club

The arresting officer said it wasn't the first time he'd busted a nut in front of a stripper and it wouldn't be the last.

My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I bought him a snickers

If 2 vegans are having an argument....

True life story.
Patient: Can I tell you a joke
Me: Sure.
Patient: If 2 vegans are having an argument, is there still beef between them?
No eating disorders were harmed or diagnosed in the course of this joke.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."
"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"
"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

I called an old friend and asked how he's been.

He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.

That's baaad

A sheep goes to see a doctor.
"How are ewe doing today," he asks.
"I'm a little horse," she says.
"Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."

My doctor recently diagnosed me with a personality disorder

No he didn't.

I got a h**... from a girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was the best minute of my life...

Then the worst eleven minutes of my life.

My doctor just told me I have bipolar disorder.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both.

A man with a disorder that makes him urinate randomly is talking to another man with an Italian accent.

He is confused by his accent and asks what nationality he is. The Italian man replies, European!

What do you call a fruit that's high in potassium and likes disorder?

A bananachist.

What do you call that weird sensation when you are suddenly teleported from North Pole to South Pole or vice versa?

Bi-polar disorder.

me at the docters

so I was at the docters and the docter said you have a peeing disorder and that u**... for a treat

Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"

Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.

Therapist: So what brings you two in today?

Therapist: I think I have dissociative identity disorder.
Therapist: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

I went to a psychologist and he said that I'm a narcissist.

That's b**.... A perfect guy like me can't possibly have a personality disorder.

Yesterday I was diagnosed with ADD ( attention deficit disorder ) ...

I always suspected I had it, but I never paid any attention to it before.

Two patients were sitting in a mental hospital cafetaria

Suddenly on the table over, a man, sitting all alone, started laughing hysterically.
First patient asked, "What do you make of that?"
"What, Jimmy two-face over there? That guy has split personality disorder", said the second patient.
"So what?" said the first patient.
"So, one of them must have told a great joke."

USSR should've been called PTSD

Post-Tsarism Socialism Disorder

Doctor: I was told you have some kind of speech disorder. How bad is it?

Me: I can't complain.

Why did the clairvoyant visit the psychologist?

He was suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder.

Why was the airbender afraid to face the fire lord?

He had an aangxiety disorder.

My bro asked what's it like being diabetic?

I said it has its highs and lows I asked him what it was like to have Bipolar disorder, he said it has its ups and downs

I asked my dermatologist why she waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder

she replied she's reluctant to make a rash decision

A medical student

A medical student walks into his favorite local bar and orders a beer. "I've finally decided what my practice will specialize in," the student tells the bartender. "It will be in the study and treatment of the diseases and disorders of the Adam's apple." "Is there some sort of fancy medical name for that specialty?" the bartender asks. "Yes," the student replies. "I'll be a guyneckologist."

I carry a notice with me to let other people know about my anxiety disorder.

It's my social insecurity card

I found a really good website for bipolar disorder.

Unfortunately it keeps going down randomly

A Man Walks into A Psychiatrist's Office

And says,
"Hey, doc, I think my brother's gone crazy! He's convinced he's a chicken."
The doc says,
"Well, it looks like a simple case of an identity disorder: why don't you turn him in?"
The guy responds,
"I would, doc, but I need the eggs."

Disorder joke, A Man Walks into A Psychiatrist's Office

jokes about disorder

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these disorder jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.