Disneyland Jokes
49 disneyland jokes and hilarious disneyland puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disneyland that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your family trip to Disneyland even more fun with laughs from these classic Disneyland jokes. From witty gags about the Jungle Cruise to quips about Neverland and Mickey Mouse, there's something for everyone. Get ready to crack a smile and hop on the Monorail for a magical journey!
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Funniest Disneyland Short Jokes
Short disneyland jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disneyland humour may include short mickey jokes also.
- A little girl asks her grandad... "Would you make a frog noise for me?"
The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland". - I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
- Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
They went home crying. - Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland. When they see a sign at an intersection.
"Disneyland left" ←
so they went back home. - What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.
- Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?" I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation. - Kids who are visiting Disneyland for the first time get a button that says It's my first time at Disneyland! Do Make-a-Wish kids get a button that says It's my last time at Disneyland! ?
- I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ... Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.
- Disneyland will be opened in Chernobyl. As always, at the entrance, the visitors will be greeted by a 7-feet-tall mouse. But this time, a real one.
- Two blondes are on the way to Disneyland and sees a sign with a photo of Disneyland.
It reads: Disneyland left
Suddenly they stop and start crying.
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Disneyland One Liners
Which disneyland one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disneyland? I can suggest the ones about goofy and sign.
- Why is Mickey Mouse's helicopter no use in Scotland? Disneyland
- How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland? Welcome to the Park side.
- My kid was dying to go on our trip to Disneyland sponsored by Make-A-Wish.
- What do Venezuela and Disneyland have in common? They have long food lines
- Wits wrong wae Mickey Mouses helicopter? Disneyland
- Did you guys hear about Mickey Mouse's fatal flaw with his helicopter design? Disneyland
- STAR TOURS 2017 DISNEYLAND NATIONAL Nouvelle attraction a Disneyland Paris en 2017
- Why do people at Disneyland hate coke heads? They're always cutting lines
- My boss called in sick today He must have went to Disneyland.
- What is Anakin doing in Disneyland? Killing children
Silly & Ridiculous Disneyland Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about disneyland you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean funfair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disneyland pranks.
One day bush went jogging...
One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you.
The first boy said, Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!
I'll personally hand it to you, said Bush. I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos, the second boy said.
I'll buy them myself and give them to you, said Bush. And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it, said the third boy.
I'll personally … wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!
No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.
A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...
HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?
The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…
My farmer grandpa died this time last year. This was his favourite joke...
My grandpa who lived on a farm always used to say that if he won the lottery he would buy Disneyland, bulldoze it to the ground and plant crops...because he's used to struggling.
I hope this made you smile as much as he made me smile.
A man saves up enough money to take his kids to Disneyland...
...when he goes to tell them about it, his son says "Thank you so much, daddy! When are we going?"
"Well, whenever we save up enough to come back."
Literary position.
Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.
"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"
"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."
"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."
"How do you figure that?"
"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."
Kids say the darndest things
An old man is sitting in his chair watching the game when his 6yr old grand-daughter sits on his lap, begging him to talk like a frog. "Why do you want me to talk like a frog?", the grand-father asks. "Mom says we can all go to Disneyland when you croak.
2 blondes are on their way to Disneyland...
they see a sign reading "Disneyland left". So they cried a bit and headed home.
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park
They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... with my ex was like Disneyland.
I'd have to wait in line for an hour and a half and when it was finally my turn I wasn't big enough to get on the ride.
A little boy asks his mother what the difference is between a Democrat and a Republican?
The mother thinks hard and comes up with this explanation for the child.
A Democrat is like that very nice aunt you have that always promises to take you to Disneyland. But something always comes up and you never actually go.
A Republican is like a grumpy uncle. Every time you ask him about Disneyland he says absolutely not, we don't have enough money.
But then later you find out that he went with out you anyway.
- Corey Kahaney
A man and a monkey
A man found a monkey by the side of the road, but he didn't know what to do with it. When he got home with the monkey he asked his neighbour:
-What should I do with this monkey?
-Take it to the zoo, the neighbor answered.
-That's a good idea, I'll do that tomorrow.
The next day the neighbour saw the man come home again with the monkey.
-You didn't take it to the zoo?
-Yeah, I did. Next week we're going to Disneyland!
I am really not a crackhead.
But I have cut more lines than crippled kid in the Disneyland.
Why didn't death row records go to Disneyland for their holiday outing?
Because it was too pac'd.
If they opened up a massage parlor in Disneyland...
Would it be called a "Happily ever after"?
The ugly club was going to Disneyland!
When the bus crashed killing all 43 of the occupants and the ugly bus driver. When they reach the pearly gates saint peter tells them all to form an orderly line and they will each get one wish before they pass into heaven.
Each person asks for the same thing, I want to be the most beautiful person ever created. As they move through the line, each person becoming more beautiful than the last they can hear giggling from the back of the line.
The line eventually dissipates and saint peter asks the last person in line his wish.
He says make them all ugly again!
In California, what do you do to someone choking at Disneyland?
You perform the Anaheimlich Maneuver
Thank you
Did you hear about the broken helicopter that Mickey Mouse bought from Scotland?
Disneyland
If you ever want a fun vacation, you should consider going to Disneyland Syria
I hear their rides are the bomb
What's the difference between Disneyland America and Disneyland Thailand?
In Thailand, you pay extra for the happy ending with each ride.
