The Best 45 Disneyland Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Disneyland jokes. There are some disneyland goofy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these disneyland tinkerbell puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Disneyland Jokes and Puns

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

HEY! So what did you get for Christmas? The second little boy pauses and says well I got a gift card and a t-shirt…you?

The first little boy excitedly replies Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can't believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt! to which the second little boy replies well…at least I don't have cancer…

A Blonde on her way to Disneyland...

...saw a sign that said "Disneyland, Left", so she turned around and went home.

My farmer grandpa died this time last year. This was his favourite joke...

My grandpa who lived on a farm always used to say that if he won the lottery he would buy Disneyland, bulldoze it to the ground and plant crops...because he's used to struggling.

I hope this made you smile as much as he made me smile.

Disneyland joke, My farmer grandpa died this time last year. This was his favourite joke...

A man saves up enough money to take his kids to Disneyland...

...when he goes to tell them about it, his son says "Thank you so much, daddy! When are we going?"

"Well, whenever we save up enough to come back."

A little girl asks her grandad...

"Would you make a frog noise for me?"
The grandad, confused asks, "why?"
The little girl replies, "dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland".


A little boy went running into his grandfather's hospital room.

Excited, he shrieked, "Grandpa! Make a noise like a frog!"

The grandpa replies, "Why?"

Still excited, the little boy replies, "Because Grandma says that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland!"

Two blonde girls...

...were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland left. They started crying and headed home.

Disneyland joke, Two blonde girls...

What do the Patriots and Measles have in common?

They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.

Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."

"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."

A blond is driving to DisneyLand...

She sees a sign saying "DisneyLand left" so she turns around and drives home.

Two blonde girls are heading to Disneyland...

While driving they see a sign "Disney Left". They cry and head home.

(Little bro told me this one. Not sure if it has been told before.)

You can explore disneyland monorail reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean disneyland sign dad jokes. There are also disneyland puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park

They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.

Sex with my ex was like Disneyland.

I'd have to wait in line for an hour and a half and when it was finally my turn I wasn't big enough to get on the ride.

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland

... and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland...

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. When they were close to the destination they saw a sign: Disneyland Left . They stopped, started to cry and finally turned around and drove back home.

I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ...

Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.

Disneyland joke, I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ...

Ukraine is opening a theme park in Chernobyl.

It's like Disneyland, except the 2 metre mouse is real.

What do Venezuela and Disneyland have in common?

They have long food lines

Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland.

When they see a sign at an intersection.

"Disneyland left" ←

so they went back home.


A man and a monkey

A man found a monkey by the side of the road, but he didn't know what to do with it. When he got home with the monkey he asked his neighbour:

-What should I do with this monkey?

-Take it to the zoo, the neighbor answered.

-That's a good idea, I'll do that tomorrow.

The next day the neighbour saw the man come home again with the monkey.

-You didn't take it to the zoo?

-Yeah, I did. Next week we're going to Disneyland!

Two blondes were in a car heading to Disneyland

They saw an intersection

It said:
Disneyland left ⬅️

So they started crying and went home.

Two blondes are on the way to Disneyland

and sees a sign with a photo of Disneyland.

It reads: Disneyland left

Suddenly they stop and start crying.

Two blondes are going to Disney Land

At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"

They went home crying.

Sorry to hear that they banned your mom from disneyland...

.. but at least she collected a lot of money from kids trying to put quarters in her ears to ride her.

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?"

I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"

because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

My kid was dying to go on our trip to Disneyland

sponsored by Make-A-Wish.

2 blondes were driving to Disneyland...

They see the sign, "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home.

A Father and his Son are talking

Dad: Great news, son! We've saved enough money to go to Disneyland.

Son: That's great! When are we going?

Dad: As soon as we save enough money to get back.

A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland.

She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.

Dad an Son

Dad: Great news, son! We've saved enough money to go to Disneyland.
Son: That's great! When are we going?
Dad: As soon as we save enough to get back.

Two blondes decided

To drive to Disneyland. Those both jumped into the car and started driving. After 13 hours of straight nonstop driving, they see a sign which reads, *** Disneyland - Left ***.

So they turn around and go back home.

A boy says to his grandfather "Grandpa, can you make a noise like a frog?"

He says "Sure I can. but why do you ask?"



"Mom says we can go to Disneyland once Grandpa croaks"

What is Anakin doing in Disneyland?

Killing children

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

Two Blondes were on their way to Disneyland.

They reach the road junction, and the sign display "Disneyland Left".

So, sadly, they went home...

When I die, I have but 2 requests.

The first, I want my remains to be scattered around Disneyland.

The second, I don't want to be cremated.

Kids who are visiting Disneyland for the first time get a button that says It's my first time at Disneyland!

Do Make-a-Wish kids get a button that says It's my last time at Disneyland! ?

A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why?

Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!

I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat

So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland

A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"

The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"

Two blondes are driving to Disneyland...

Well, one's driving....

After what seems like ages they finally are in Anaheim, then they come to a sign that says

"Disneyland Left".

So they went back home.

When I die, I want to be scattered over Disneyland.

But not cremated.

How does Darth Vader greet visitors to Disneyland?

Welcome to the Park side.

When I die I want my remains scattered at Disneyland

I do not wanna be cremated

A little boy comes running Into the room!

A little boy comes running Into the room and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?"
​The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?"

The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"

Disneyland will be opened in Chernobyl. As always, at the entrance, the visitors will be greeted by a 7-feet-tall mouse.

But this time, a real one.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the disneyland tourists jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working disneyland parks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes