Disney Jokes
165 disney jokes and hilarious disney puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disney that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready for some family-friendly fun? Get ready to laugh with these hilarious Disney Jokes about Halloween, Jungle Cruise, Frozen, Bad Highlander and Disneyland! Packed with jokes from Hasbro, these jokes are sure to bring out smiles and laughs.
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- Short Disney Jokes
- Disney One Liners
- Disney Movie Jokes
- Disney World Jokes
- Disney Princess Jokes
- Walt Disney Jokes
- More Disney Jokes
Funniest Disney Short Jokes
Short disney jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disney humour may include short mickey jokes also.
- Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
- I have two conditions in my will... 1) I want my remains spread around Disney World
2) I do not want to be cremated - When I die, I want my remains scattered over Disney World. Also, I don't want to be cremated.
- Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
They went home crying. - JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car He becomes the ManDeLorean
- Rick Astley is such a nice guy He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!
He's Never Gonna Give You Up - A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.
- Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
*Joke's from my Dad and his friend* - When I die I'd like my remains to be scattered at Disney Land... Also, I don't want to be cremated.
- What's the difference between michael jackson and Disney Movies ? Disney Movies still touch kids
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Disney One Liners
Which disney one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disney? I can suggest the ones about disney movie and walt disney.
- Mickey mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!" Doctor: Which knee?
Mickey: Disney - I just unsubscribed from Disney+ I feel marveless
- Whats Bill Cosby's favorite Disney character? Sleeping beauty
- How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World? Gatorade
- Did you hear about the new Disney FastPass? Skip the lines, go straight to the ICU
- Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.
- Which Disney character won the Nobel prize? Gaston
- [Scottish]What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings, and Walt disnae.
- What do you call an emo kids cartoon? Disney XD.
- Did you hear Disney is making Austin Powers into a Jedi? It's called Obi-have
- What's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney movie? Sleeping Beauty
- What was the cannibal's favorite Disney song? You've got a friend in me.
- Which disney movie does gordon ramsay hate the most? Frozen.
- Jasmine tried to attend a "Disney Prince Only" gathering She wasn't Aladdin.
- Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess? Sleeping Beauty
Disney Movie Jokes
Here is a list of funny disney movie jokes and even better disney movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common? They can both bring out the child from within.
- My favorite Disney movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a hero with a twisted back story.
- My girlfriend told me to stop watching Disney movies and be a man. Does anyone know how to be swift as the coursing river?
- Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one. He's never going to give you Up.
- Disney has announced that all future Marvel movies will have an all male cast. They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.
- I heard Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Disney collection Except Up. He's Never Gonna Give You Up.
- This just popped in my head... What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?
Mow lawn.
Sorry. - Disney really gets the Star Wars fanbase... After 3 movies, our expectations are now Solo...
- We just finished watching the new Disney movie, Incandescent. It was a light comedy.
- What is the dairy farmer's favorite Disney movie? Moo-ana
Disney World Jokes
Here is a list of funny disney world jokes and even better disney world puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl. It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.
- I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World Guess we should of had her cremated first
- When I die, I want my remains to be scattered throughout Disney world. I don't want to be cremated.
- How do Disney princesses screw in a lightbulb? They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.
- I have two simple wishes for when I die 1. I want my remains to be spread all over Disney World
2. I don't want to be cremated - Last requests After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me.
1) I want my remains spread around Disney world.
2) I do not wish to be cremated - I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World... I said "Wow, it's a small world!"
She said, "actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean." - Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World? She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"
- The Seahawks were going to go to Disney World... but they decided to pass.
- Disney world is reopening today It's about to be an even smaller world
Disney Princess Jokes
Here is a list of funny disney princess jokes and even better disney princess puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whos the funniest disney princess? raPUNzel
*sits there laughing to self*
...so lonely.. - Which Disney princess would be the best judge? Snow White, because she's the Fairest One of All.
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- What's the name of the Disney princess that got burned? Cinder-ella
- I heard Disney is making a princess that's more pc to viewers. She's said to resemble Rapunzel. Except instead of letting down her hair, she lets down everyone in her life.
- Which Disney Princess is always on dating apps? Tinderella.
- My daughter wanted a Disney Princess birthday party… …so I made all her friends come over and clean my house.
- Why didn't the Disney Princess go to the doctor when she got sick? Because the cold never bothered her anyway.
- A Disney princess was arrested by mistake They thought it was someone Elsa.
- My daughter wanted to have a Disney princess tea party. I couldn't find the tea or the dresses, so I settled for Taco Belle.
Walt Disney Jokes
Here is a list of funny walt disney jokes and even better walt disney puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Haunted mansion opened three years after Walt Disney died. It's what Walt would have haunted
- So which knee is hurting Walt? Walt: Disney .
- Why did Walt Disney visit a mechanic? He wanted to get his Car tuned
- Ok I have a Scottish joke: Sam Wanamaker, Immanuel Kant. Sammy Cahn… … but Walt Disney.
- I went to see Walt Disney on ice It was a bit disappointing, just an old bloke in a freezer.
- If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney.
Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction... - In a recent interview about the state of the Disney empire... ... Walt Disney responded with no comment.
- It's Walt Disney's birthday today I wonder what his ice age is...
- How do you access the task manager on a Disney-brand PC? You press "Ctrl+Walt+Delete"
- What did Walt Disney have to say about "OK"? "It's a small word after all"
Great Disney Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about disney you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean disney world jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disney pranks.
Tip: when making a s**... tape, play Disney music in the background.
That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.
Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!
Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most n**... joke involving a Disney character.
Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.
I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.
BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars
Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
I want to create a Disney channel sitcom about an irreverent Chinese kid...
and name it "That's so Wong!"
GRANPA, GRANPA CROAK LIKE A FROG
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!
Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?
Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.
A young boy asked his grandad to do his frog impression...
Grandad: "What do you mean?"
Boy: "Do your frog impression!"
Grandad: "What frog impression?"
Boy: "Mum says: When you croak, we can go to Disney World!"
I just read that Disney is making a sequel to Bambi. He gets revenge on the hunters that killed his mother. They're calling it.......
Bambo
I knew this guy who was so dumb...
he saw a road sign that said, "Disney Land Left", so he turned around and went home.
I have two requests for my f**...
1) be scattered at Disney Land
2) not to be cremated
I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get "Disney." And on my left...
dat-knee.
Disney is releasing an alternate version of its latest film for the Indian audience where Nemo's father starts looking for a bride for his son.
It's called Finding Dowry.
What do Disney and Kellogg's have in common?
They both make pop tarts.
Hellen Keller was the first person to go to Disney land.
Don't worry, she didn't know it either.
Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.
For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.
What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?
The rogue one
Rick Astley told me that you could borrow any of his Disney movies, except Up
He's never gonna give you Up...
What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?
Immigrants
I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ...
Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.
I got in touch with my inner self today at Disney World
I can't believe that a multi billion dollar company can't afford 3 ply toilet paper.
Disney is already working on a sequel to Beauty and the Beast...
They're calling it The French Prince in Belle's Snare.
Why is Pinocchio the most requested at the Disney brothel?
Because he lets girls sit on his face while he tells them lies.
2 blondes go to disney world
They see a sign that's says Disney World left.
They start crying and head back home.
When I die, I want my body to be scattered about at Disney World
But I do not want to be cremated
Which knee is Mickey's favorite knee?
Disney
Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse.
She was so excited when I got home and told her.
Disney have finally announced a Ratatouille sequel!
It's called "Incredible Stew"
A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts.
# I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.
Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.
Turns out my son is a heroine addict
Thanks a lot Disney
Disney and I have something special in common.
We both love happy endings.
The director of the "Guardians of the Galaxy" series will not be making the third part
I guess Disney really knows how to fire a Gunn
What happens once a year and only at a graveyard?
Mother's Day for Disney characters.
Why don't they cooperate at Disney Pixar?
Because teamwork makes the Dreamwork(s)
I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...
He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"
What does Disney have in common with a guy in an outhouse in Chicago?
They're both making frozen number two.
Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.
He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
Which knee is hurting you, Walt?
The famous film producer points to his left knee.
Disney.
My wife was teaching our children that Barbie and Disney were sexist and misogynistic.
I happen to believe that children learn through examples set by their parents.
So I told my wife to shut her yap and get back in the kitchen.
Did you hear about the new Roller Coaster at Disney World Florida?
It's called the Coronacoaster. It just keeps going up and up until everyone on it dies.
I feel that Disney is taking the "Rainforest Cafe" theme a bit to seriously
I was just sitting there eating when they bulldozed half of the place down.
Disney makes female hips very big, anime makes female b**... very big
And america makes female waists very big
