The Best 75 Disney Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Disney jokes. There are some disney shrek jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these disney disney frozen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Disney Jokes and Puns

Tip: when making a sex tape, play Disney music in the background.

That way, if it ever gets leaked online, Disney attorneys will have them all taken down.

I have two conditions in my will...

1) I want my remains spread around Disney World

2) I do not want to be cremated

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!

Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

Disney joke, Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.

I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.

BREAKING. With Disney buying Star Wars

Donald Duck will now have four nephews. Huey, Louie, Dewey and Chewie.


[Scottish]What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

Bing sings, and Walt disnae.

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Disney joke, Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

I want to create a Disney channel sitcom about an irreverent Chinese kid...

and name it "That's so Wong!"

GRANPA, GRANPA CROAK LIKE A FROG

 

A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa.  When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room.  "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"

 

"What?" said her Grandpa.

 

"Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!

 

Did you hear about the woman banned from Disney World?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming, "Lie to me, Pinocchio! Lie to me!"

The Seahawks were going to go to Disney World...

but they decided to pass.

You can explore disney hasbro reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean disney mickey dad jokes. There are also disney puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

A young boy asked his grandad to do his frog impression...

Grandad: "What do you mean?"
Boy: "Do your frog impression!"
Grandad: "What frog impression?"
Boy: "Mum says: When you croak, we can go to Disney World!"

This just popped in my head...

What's a mexican's favorite Disney movie?

Mow lawn.

Sorry.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

Disney joke, What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

Who's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney princess?

Sleeping Beauty

I knew this guy who was so dumb...

he saw a road sign that said, "Disney Land Left", so he turned around and went home.

When I die I'd like my remains to be scattered at Disney Land...

Also, I don't want to be cremated.


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ?

Disney Movies still touch kids

The Ukrainian government is opening up a tourist attraction in Chernobyl.

It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

I've decided to get a couple tattoos. On my right knee I'm going to get "Disney." And on my left...

dat-knee.

How do you hydrate a 2 year old at Disney World?

Gatorade

Mickey Mouse "Doc, my knees hurt!"

Doctor: Which knee?

Mickey: Disney

I got in line behind an old classmate of mine while vacationing at Disney World...

I said "Wow, it's a small world!"
She said, "actually this is Pirates of the Caribbean."

Last requests

After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me.

1) I want my remains spread around Disney world.

2) I do not wish to be cremated

Whos the funniest disney princess?

raPUNzel

*sits there laughing to self*

...so lonely..

Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.

For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.

[NSFW] I'm so sad, my favorite dating site is shutting down

Disney has announced they are shutting down Club Penguin. =(

I didn't know the Disneyland had moved to the white house ...

Apparently the president is Donald and the vice is Mickey.

Disney is already working on a sequel to Beauty and the Beast...

They're calling it The French Prince in Belle's Snare.

What do you call an emo kids cartoon?

Disney XD.

Why is Pinocchio the most requested at the Disney brothel?

Because he lets girls sit on his face while he tells them lies.

When I die, I want my body to be scattered about at Disney World

But I do not want to be cremated

Which knee is Mickey's favorite knee?

Disney

Went to Disney World because my daughter is obsessed with Mickey Mouse.

She was so excited when I got home and told her.

Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one.

He's never going to give you Up.

Two blondes are going to Disney Land

At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"

They went home crying.

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?

'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse.

That's the last time we're going to Disney.

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered throughout Disney world.

I don't want to be cremated.

I just got a lifetime ban for spreading my wife's remains around Disney World

Guess we should of had her cremated first

I heard Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Disney collection

Except Up. He's Never Gonna Give You Up.

A lot of people believe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen in the basement of CalArts.

# I personally love this conspiracy theory because it's a wonderful example of suspended animation.

Credit to the greatest animation professor of all time, Mr. Theo Artz of Drexel University.

Jasmine tried to attend a "Disney Prince Only" gathering

She wasn't Aladdin.

What happens once a year and only at a graveyard?

Mother's Day for Disney characters.

My girlfriend told me to stop watching Disney movies and be a man.

Does anyone know how to be swift as the coursing river?

What's Bill Cosby's favourite Disney movie?

Sleeping Beauty

I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...

He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

Disney has announced that all future Marvel movies will have an all male cast.

They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.

What does Disney have in common with a guy in an outhouse in Chicago?

They're both making frozen number two.

Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.

He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.

Which knee is hurting you, Walt?

The famous film producer points to his left knee.

Disney.

My wife was teaching our children that Barbie and Disney were sexist and misogynistic.

I happen to believe that children learn through examples set by their parents.

So I told my wife to shut her yap and get back in the kitchen.

Disney world is reopening today

It's about to be an even smaller world

Did you hear about the new Disney FastPass?

Skip the lines, go straight to the ICU

Which disney movie does gordon ramsay hate the most?

Frozen.

Whats Bill Cosby's favorite Disney character?

Sleeping beauty

Disney makes female hips very big, anime makes female boobs very big

And america makes female waists very big

Netflix and Disney should just join forces to create the most controversial movie ever: a young girl becomes infatuated with makeup and skimpy outfits, but first she must save China from the threat of the Uighur.

Call it *Mulan Rouge*

How do Disney princesses screw in a lightbulb?

They hold the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Why did Robinhood steal from the rich?

He actually didn't he instead limited what the working class could trade in stocks in order for the rich to make money. Disney lied.

Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess...

...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.

What's the difference between Disney and PornHub?

Disney teaches you to hate your stepmother.

Did you hear Disney is making Austin Powers into a Jedi?

It's called Obi-have

Boy talking to Grandpa.

Boy: Grandpa can you make a noise like a frog?

Grandpa: No I can't, why do you ask?

Boy: Well Grandma said I can go to Disney Land when you croak..

Which Disney character won the Nobel prize?

Gaston

What was the cannibal's favorite Disney song?

You've got a friend in me.

Wife: Our Disney certified stroller fits through all openings

Dad: Yep, it's Universal


This interaction occurred as we left our Disney hotel room heading to the bus to EPCOT.

What is the difference between Disney+ and Xvideos?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.

We just finished watching the new Disney movie, Incandescent.

It was a light comedy.

I have two simple wishes for when I die

1. I want my remains to be spread all over Disney World

2. I don't want to be cremated

Disney reveals that the upcoming "Kenobi" series will be streamed exclusively in Flash player

It will be titled Adobe Wan Kenobi

JUST ANNOUNCED: Disney in talks of a Star Wars - Back to the Future crossover where Marty flies so far back in time (long, long ago) that he fuses with his car

He becomes the ManDeLorean

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the disney disney movie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working disney kids disney piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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