The Best 82 Dislike Jokes

I dislike people who constantly make Harry Potter references and I hate the use of malapropism for comedic effect but...

I'll admit I'm a bit of a hippogryph sometimes.

I dislike Nike because they use Indonesian children to make their shoes

I hate Indonesian children.

I used to dislike the idea of having a beard ...

but it slowly grew on me.

Why the quarry worker dislike his boss?

Because he kept taking his work for granite.

Why I dislike this sub:

There's not enough cheese and bacon on it. I think I'll go to a different place for lunch next time.

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

give dislike on this video

Why do indegionous people dislike snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes.

I like my internet like I dislike my women.

Not going down on me.

I ordered a book called "How to relieve stress"

My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time.

And that it's useful.

And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me.

I don't see why people dislike racial diversity

I'm getting bored of watching the 100 meter dash.

I really dislike the "N" word...

I don't even like saying vinegar.

why do terrorists dislike coffee?

because they hate french press

Why do some people dislike twitch chat?

It's just not their Kappa tea

I don't know why everyone dislikes catholics...

They are putting so much into the youth.

I really dislike going to the dry cleaners

I can't stand perchloroethylene and I don't like glycol ether.

Why did 6 and 8 dislike 7?

They thought 7 was pretty odd.

Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders?

Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name "Sanders".

Name a famous recipe which Europeans, americans and Turks generally dislike

Recipe Erdogan :D

Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ?

It saves so much time.

Why do mathematicians dislike cloth rugs?

They prefer fur mats.

I strongly dislike the subject of math

However, I am partial to fractions.

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

Why do mexicans dislike rust?

Because it is feo

Life has never given me lemons

It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for stupid people

I always disliked my hair

but its growing on me.

Why do feminists dislike maths?

There's an XY axis but no XX axis.

Why do LGBT people dislike coding?

It's binary

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

I dislike elevators so much...

that I've started taking steps to avoid them.

Did you know that people who dislike calculus are typically racists?

They hate integration.

US Representatives are like the dislike button on Youtube comments

They are supposed to be there to represent your dissent and anger, but never actually do.

why do apple computers dislike love songs?

they are all done by Adele!

Why do dwarfs dislike the big city?

Because of Smaug

Those two friends in your group who dislike each but don't hate each other enough to stop talking

The beef (ain't) stroganoff

Something I've observed in my life. You never know how many people you dislike until ...

you have to name your child

Why does Anakin dislike Spongebob Squarepants?

He finds Sandy course and irritating.

Why did the programmer dislike his job?

He wasn't getting arrays at work.

I've been to jail five times and got raped twice

I'm starting to dislike playing Monopoly with my dad.

I really dislike Russian dolls

They're so full of themselves

I dislike how Mandarin is romanized

But that's just my o-pinyin

Why does Mozart dislike metal?

It's too djentle!

Why did Darth Vader dislike the new more aerodynamic TIE fighters?

He found their lack of strafe disturbing.

How many [college team you dislike] students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but they get 3-credits for it.

I've never really disliked pastries

But I hate Pai now

What do you order at a restaurant with your best friend's vegetarian girlfriend who you strongly dislike?

I asked my wife what three things she finds most irritating.

She said, "well, I really dislike Sunday drivers. I'm not particularly keen on loud, abnoixious children. But mostly, I really hate it when I have to repeat myself!"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely!" I replied, "You can say that again."

Why don't blind people go bungee jumping?

Their dogs dislike it.

What do children learn from Green Eggs and Ham?

If someone you strongly dislike really really wants you to eat something strange for no apparent reason, you should try it.

I really dislike people doing Michael Jackson impressions

Whenever I see one, I turn 360 degrees and walk away.

Define Homophobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms

Why does Hitler dislike strip clubs?

Too many Poles.

Why do most people dislike anchovies?

Because they're a little fishy

People want to help hippos and conserve them, while others dislike hippos for attacking humans.

Why are people so hippo-critical?

Why did the mirror's parents dislike it misbehaving?

They were concerned about how it would reflect on them.

I really dislike whole blocks of cheese

They aren't grate.

With Apples new measure app

Men are going to dislike it for incorrect results.

Why did the Italian allergen dislike it's mother's sister?

Because it's auntie ista mean!

I don't dislike gay women...

They just don't like me.

I just love the feeling you get when someone you dislike is wearing slightly uncomfortable shoes

Ah shoddenfreude

I don't understand why people dislike dark jokes

It's not like am using the N-Word.

Why did the anesthesiology students dislike their professor?

Because they were always putting people to sleep.

Why do scientists dislike computer science?

Because it's a sudo-science.

I used to dislike my hair,

But it's growing on me.

It's ok if you dislike your hair when you're younger.

So you don't miss it when you're older.

I really dislike whipped cream

There's actually only one way I liked whipped cream, but that's personal.

Everytime I see youtube rewind 2018 I feel better

Seeing the dislike count rising that is.

If you ever feel like you've failed, a lot of people dislike you, and your out of touch with the people who rely on you, just remember one thing:

YouTube Rewind 2018

How do Australians dislike a YouTube video?

They press the thumbs up

What do Hillary, Stormy and Karen all have in common?

Each of them started to dislike Trump after he stopped making personal deposits.

How many [not your political party] does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they are incapable of making real changes due to [thing you dislike about the opposing political party]

As a vet i dislike working with ducks

They keep calling me a quack

What kind of drink does Hitler dislike?

Juice.

Why does fruit dislike being preserved?

The process is jarring.

What pop star do Moldovans dislike the most?

Lady Gagauzia

I really dislike people who don't like Ketamine

They need to get down off their high horse.

I wrote down the names of everyone I dislike on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.

He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.

I dislike the colour purple

more than blue and red combined.

Which anion has an ​​intense dislike of itself?

Sulfate

YouTube disabled the dislike counter.

I would say that everyone disliked that, but I honestly can't tell.

I dislike people who are missing toes…

You could say I'm lack-toes-intolerant!