disgustin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious disgustin puns

Its disgusting how often women are subjected to sexism in todays society...

One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her misogynist pig boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.

Fucking Subway...

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Disgusting joke

This guy gets released from jail. The first thing he wants to do is eat some pussy, he loves mowin pussy. So he takes what money he has and finds a hooker. They go back to a seedy hotel and he proceeds to devour her snatch. As he starts he finds a bread crum, but flicks it aside hardly noticing. Then he finds a noodle, and is a little worried, but he did just get out of jail so he proceeds to bury his nose. He finds a a chunk of hamburger. He can't just ignore this so he asks "What's wrong? Are you sick or something?" She replies " No but the guy before you was."

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Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?"
A: It hasn't come out yet.

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The Most Disgusting Joke You'll Ever Hear

A young boy was licking out an old lady when all of a sudden he tasted horse cum. He sat up and said "oh...grandma, so that's how you died"

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What's grosser than gross?
When you throw your underwear and it sticks to the wall.


What's grosser than that?
When you come back an hour later and it's moved up three feet.

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Q: Who is brave?
A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!

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Why is 6.9 disgusting as compared to 69?

6.9 has the period.

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Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence.


Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"
To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."

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Most disgusting joke I know ... [NSFW]

So, I was eating out my girlfriend when all of a sudden I tasted horse sperm. I couldn't help but shout out "aha grandmother, so that's how you died!".

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Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water?
A: Swimmers are farting.

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Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"
"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"
"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.
A: Ground Beef!

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Why does the witch not wear panties when flying?
Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.

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A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present.


When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video.
He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video.
On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k.
He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough.
Then she turns to the camera.
"Oh, hello, I want a divorce."

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What is grosser than gross?
When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.

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A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses.


Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!

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Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.

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regular ass
(_!_)

fat ass
(__!__)

tight ass
(!)

flat ass
(_.

_)

bubble ass
(_^_)

sore ass
(_*_)

lop-sided ass
(_!__)

swishy ass
{_!_}

surprised ass
(_o_)

ass that's been around
(_O_)

kiss my ass
(_x_)

leave my ass alone
(_X_)

tired ass
(_zzz_)

wise ass
(_o^o_)

unlucky ass
(_13_)

money out the ass
(_$_)

dumb ass
(_?_)

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Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.

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How does herpes leave the hospital?
On crotches.

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Its disgusting and derogatory to call a gay man a fruit

How could something so pure and sweet be compared to a homosexual!!!

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What do disgusting people eat?

Groceries.

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Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.

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Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead?
A: Depth perception.

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If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.

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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.


"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."

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An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office.


The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?"
The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."

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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."

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Most disgusting "Would you rather.." ever

Would you rather - live for the next four years and have Hilary Clinton as President or Live for the next four years and have Donald Trump as President?

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A man farts in bed next to his wife.
His wife asks, "What in the world was that?"
He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."
She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.
He yells at her, "What was that?"
She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."
He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.

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Three old men were sitting on a porch.


"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."

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Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse?
He got a twat in the face.

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One night my mother in law came to our home.


In the middle of the night suddenly I was awakened by a horrible sound from WC.
She farted.
I was so angry that shouted and said: "Your food is under your feet and your weapons are complete get out and go to fight with ISIS!"

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What are the most funny Disgustin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Disgustin? Well, here are the best Disgustin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Disgustin pick up lines to share with friends.

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