Disguise Jokes
58 disguise jokes and hilarious disguise puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disguise that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Disguise Short Jokes
Short disguise jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disguise humour may include short conceal jokes also.
- Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone? Because eventually, its cover would be blown.
- My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise... He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in
- A masked priest just threw some holy water at me... ... I think it was a blessing in disguise.
- I started a company.. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
- I started selling land mines disguised as prayer mats Prophets are going through the roof.
(Yes it's old, but I still love it) - I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats... Prophets are through the roof
- My friend decided to start an industry selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets have been going through the roof.
- Have you heard about the new landmines? They're disguised as prayer mats and prophets have gone through the roof
- I used to own a business, where I sold landmines disguised as prayer mats.. The prophets are going through the roof
- Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree? He was a decorated veteran.
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Disguise One Liners
Which disguise one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disguise? I can suggest the ones about camouflage and hiding.
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- Who has two thumbs and wears a mask? Disguise!
- What do you call a plane on a secret mission? In disguise.
- What do you call an amphibian in disguise? Infrognito.
- What did one costume say to the others? Look at disguise
- Why would a Batman villain be disguised as a nurse? To Poison IV!
- Who has two thumbs and a concealed identity? Disguise!
- What do you call marsupials in disguise? Kangaruse
- What do you call a man disguised as a woman? Amanda
- Why can't you find any planes at the airport? They're all in disguise.
- Why are flying airplanes so hard to see? Because they are high up in disguise.
- Positive thinking in disguise Optimist Prime
- What did the fish say about the snake disguised as a shrimp? He's playing the long prawn!
- What do you call a priest in a fake moustache? A blessing in disguise.
- Why did no one recognize the airline pilot? Because he was the master of disguise.
Cheeky Disguise Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about disguise you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hides jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disguise pranks.
A ten-year-old boy called his school office and disguised his voice.
Speaking with as much baritone as he could muster he said, "Timmy Smith is very sick and he can't come to school today." The school secretary said, "I'm sorry to hear that. Who is this?" And the boy said, "This is my Dad."
A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup…
…when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. Right away, officer, replies the man, and off he goes.
The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing sunglasses and straw hats. Sure enough, the man is stopped by the same officer. After pulling the man over, the officer approaches.
What is the meaning of this? I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday, why are they still in the bed of your truck? Did you really think these disguises would fool me?
They're not disguises, officer, you see I DID take them to the zoo yesterday—in fact, we had so much fun, we're going to the beach today.
I walked into a store today...
...and they were selling explosives disguised as prayer mats. I wasn't one to judge them; after all, they'd said prophets were going through the roof.
I've been thinking about manufacturing and selling landmines disguised as prayer mats...
...prophets would go through the roof!
A new type of product !
I opened a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
"But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well? Won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"
James Bond gets called into M's office
M: I have a job for you. You will have to disguise yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith.
Bond: But I have dark hair! Do you expect me to wear a wig or something?!
M: No mister Bond, I expect you to dye.
It recently came out that ISIS was developing a bomb disguised as a laptop battery to take on airplanes
They must have been taking Notes from Samsung
A sad man at the bar
A man sat at a bar looking really depressed. Why the long face? asked the bartender
Well, my wife got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me for a month.
What! That's a blessing in disguise! You'll get peace and quiet for a whole month, said the bartender.
The problem is, replied the man, today's the last day.
„Soldier!
„Yes, General?
„I didn't see you at the disguise training this morning!
„Thank You, Sir!
Whats red, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket.
Whats blue, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket in disguise.
My 8 year old son...the comedian.
I think my boss might actually be Thanos in disguise
Today, he snapped his fingers and half my weekend disappeared.
The best way to disguise an undercover cop car
would be to put a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker on it. Nobody's gonna think thats a cop car now.
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave."
One day Stalin decides to go to the cinema in disguise and hear what people are really saying about him.
When the newsreel comes on the audience stands up and applauds each time he appears on the screen. Stalin is pleased. Modestly, he himself remains seated. After a few moments the man next to him leans over and whispers
Most people feel the same way you do Comrade, but you'll be safer if you stand up.
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
They say that one tree can make a million matches.
I wonder if this is true. Since I disguised myself as a tree on Tinder, I don't make any matches at all.
Every time I go to a comic convention in my normal clothes, people ask me who I'm going as. I finally have an answer...
Thanks to Marvel, I'm going as a Skrull in disguise...
Airplanes are a blessing in disguise
*clears t**...*
Excuse me...
A blessing in the skies.
It's better said than typed :/
I've started disguising landmines as temple doormats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Once, a prince..
..decided to disguise himself and mingle with people to see their hardships by himself. There, he encountered a farmer who looked exactly like him. Curious, the prince approached the farmer and asked him "By any chance, did your mother work in the palace?"
The farmer replied, "No, but
.
.
My father used to work in the palace"
P.S.:This is an old Indian joke, I'm doing my best to translate it. Hope I can make some people smile:)
My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card
Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order
A man was eating cookies at the park.
While eating his last cookie out of the bunch, he was approached by an old lady. She was putting her hands out, gesturing if she could have his last cookie. The man broke the cookie in two and gave the old lady half of the cookie.
With a single bite, a bright light flashed and the old lady turned out to be a fairy in disguise "For your selflessness, I shall grant you a single wish."
"I wish for a red sportscar!"
With a flick of a wand, half of a sportscar fell in front of the man.
You might have read about nature photographers disguising their cameras as herd animals to photograph lions...
Don't believe it.
Fake Gnus
I used to work for Chicken of the Sea, until a new supervisor became convinced that I was actually a tuna disguised as a human
It was because of this that I was later wrongfully canned
paranoid fantasies
A woman is laying on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The psychiatrist says, "I want to talk about these paranoid fantasies you've been having of being stalked by a man who is disguising himself as furniture. How long have you been having these delusions?"
The woman says, "About 5 months."
The couch says, "It's been 6 months, actually."
I need a funny punchline...
My bf is going on a trip and I thought it'd be fun to give him a joke and tell the punchline when he gets home. Only thing is we were on a time crunch and I just said the first thing that came to mind which was:
What do you call a sheep with 3 legs?
I have absolutely no idea so if anyone can think of a punchline for this please help me.
An original joke for you as thanks:
Why was the caribou wearing a disguise?
He wanted to remain anonymoose.
Last Halloween, my friend Lucy dressed up like a cat burglar on a jewel heist.
Lucy….in disguise with diamonds.
Piece of string walks into a bar.
He sits at the bar and asks the bartender for a Moscow Mule. The bartender looks him over and says I'm sorry, but we don't serve string here . The piece of string leaves with a bit of hurt feelings.
The next night he decides to go in disguise and try again. He ruffles up his hair and adds a few curves and loops to make himself seem thicker, before putting on a bigger jacket. When he makes it back to the bar, the bartender spots him and immediately asks Hey, aren't you that piece of string from last night? .
No he replies, I'm a frayed knot .
