The Best 75 Discussion Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Discussion jokes. There are some discussion flourish jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these discussion conversation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Discussion Jokes and Puns
Arguing couple
A married couple drove down a country road for several miles, sitting in silence. An earlier discussion led to an argument in which neither would concede their position.
As they passed by a barnyard full of mules, pigs, and goats, the husband sarcastically asks: "Relatives of yours?"
'Yup,' the wife promptly replies. 'In-laws'
Jesus vs Satan
Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."
What's the difference between sex and conversation?
You don't know? Well let's go have a discussion...
A guy goes to his psychiatrist complaining about his sex life...
Upon further discussion the psychiatrist suggests that the spark of excitement has gone out of his client's marriage.
"Perhaps," he suggests, "the next time you are feeling amorous, you should just take your wife, sexually and with abandon, right there and then, no matter the circumstance."
The man agrees that it seems a good idea. Two weeks later, he returns for his normal session with the psychiatrist.
"How did things go?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Absolutely amazing," says the man. "One night, as we sat down to dinner, I looked at my wife. She looked at me and we immediately made mad, passionate love right there on the table."
"So, things are good?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Couldn't be better," says the guy, "except we're can't eat at the Denny's next to our house anymore."
A little girl comes home from school...
...and approaches her mom. She asks, "Mommy, is it true where boys put their penises is where babies come from?" The mother is visibly shocked and unprepared to have this discussion with her daughter already. She took a deep breath, and decided to just be honest. "Yes dear, that's true."
"So... does that mean when I have a baby all my teeth are going to fall out?!"
When life starts
A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.
All the letters were having a discussion.
Suddenly they discovered letter T is absent. They called him up and T said, "wait I'm in the middle of something."
(Might be a stupid joke but I made it myself, hence posting)
There are 11 blondes...
hanging on the wings of an airplane. 5 on one wing, and 6 on another, and due to this, theres an imbalance and the plane will crash. So they all decided that one of the blonde has to let go, so the wings are balanced.
After a lot of discussion, one brave blonde decides that she'll sacrifice herself for the others. She lets go, and the rest of the 10 blondes start clapping, applauding her for her bravery.......
Hope you guys like it, nd sorry if its a xpost.
Two nudists are sitting on the porch
Two older nudist men are sitting on the porch, having a discussion about communism. One man turns and says, "Have you read Marx?"
The other man replies, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."
Rabbi's wang-bang
The Rabbi and his wife were expecting a baby. The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Rabbi's family expanded, so would his paycheck.
After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold a meeting again to discuss the Rabbi's pay situation. You can imagine there was much yelling and bickering.
Finally, the Rabbi got up and spoke to the congregation, "Having children is an act of God!"
In the back of the room, a little old man with a full beard stood up and in his frail voice said, "Point of information - snow and rain are also 'acts of God,' but when we get too much we wear rubbers!"
how did the female half of the interracial couple open up the discussion about her swinging fantasy?
Cracker wanna poly?
You can explore discussion topic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean discussion lifeforms dad jokes. There are also discussion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Square Root of Negative One and Pie.
The square root of negative one and Pi are having an argument. After a lengthy discussion the square root of negative one says: 'Will you just be rational?' To that pie replies: 'Get real.'
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor...
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".
Sorry if this is a repost. Saw it on an IMDb movie discussion thread a while back, thought it was pretty good
Gamers vs Feminists
Because gamers are obsessed with Chrono Trigger discussion, feminists decided to kill Crono.
Discussion between husband & wife
Wife : Everyday you spend 5 bucks on a pack of cigarettes. In a month, you would be spending 150 bucks right?
Husband : yes....and?
Wife : In a year, you would have spend $1800 and you have been smoking for 20 years. If you didn't smoke, you would be driving a Porsche by now.
Husband : how about you? Do you smoke?
Wife : Are you crazy? No! I don't!
Husband : And where is your Porsche?
China and Russia are having a friendly discussion...
Russia: "I bet you couldn't kill that group of Buddhist monks over there"
China: "Do you want Tibet?"
manchester united vs hull city live discussion
Two terrorists having discussion in a bar...
The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?
Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..
Waiter :- Why a donkey?
Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people
Two roaches
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.
Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth
engage in a discussion on whose impact
on the computerized world was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait - I never said that."
Theres a couple guys at a drinking party..
And they all start an in depth discussion on inkblot drawings
Some of my Satan worshiping friends invited me to an open discussion on Satanism...
I'm not a Satanist myself, but I do like to play Devil's advocate...it was very confusing.
After much discussion, it was decided that Korea would divide its capital city into two, half for North and half for South, the job of splitting the city went to some unusual ministers: Cenobites. In their first public address about their new task, they gave their mission statement:
"We'll tear your Seoul apart"
I saw two really fat people today talking...
Looked like a heavy discussion
College Assignment: Short Story
So, the assignment in a college writing class was to compose a short story using as FEW words as possible, but in order to be accepted, the story had to include discussion of three things:
1) Religion
2) Sexuality
3) Mystery
The winning entry:
"God God! I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it."
Oh God, I am coming
During a group discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die.
A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!
What do you call a person who makes a clever point during a discussion at another's expense?
A Douché
Two Norwegian scientists were operating on a frog....
They taught it to jump on command. When they said "Jump!" it leaped forwards.
They removed one rear leg and said "Jump!". The frog leaped forwards.
They removed the other rear leg and said "Jump!", but nothing seemed to happen.
After much discussion they could conclude that if you remove both rear legs from a frog, it becomes deaf.
Obama and Putin have a discussion..
Putin: Let's just talk about this man to man..
Obama: Ok one moment, let me get Michelle.
My uncle told it much better but I can't remember how he said it. Feel free to repost it if you can format it better.
A concerned husband goes to his priest...
"Father, I think my wife is trying to poison me. Every time she makes me something to eat, the rat poison bottle gets lighter and lighter."
Troubled by hearing this, the priest tells the man, "I will go and speak with your wife and see what is going on here."
The priest then heads to their home and sits down with the wife and has a long discussion. He then comes back to talk to the husband.
"I've spoken with your wife for over 45 minutes about this", the priest said.
The husband looks intently at the priest, "Yeah, what should I do?"
The priest calmly says "you should take the poison."
Adam's discussion with God
So Adam is walking around the Garden of Eden and he calls out to God that he's kinda bored and lonely. He asks God if he can create someone who is kind and admires and serves him(Adam) in every way. God responds He can, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg, so Adam asks what he can get for a rib.
Remember that political discussion where someone seriously considered the ideas of someone with a different opinion?
Me neither.
Hey, wanna argue semantics?
Well, sure! However, I think it's more of a conversation. We're not really arguing; moreso having a discussion in which our opinions might be differing.
A discussion me and my wife just had
*Me trying to place the curtain on its rails*
Me:I can't reach it, I need 10 more cm to do it!
Wife:*sigh*.. I know..
I was having a discussion about the derivatives of velocity with my friend. He insulted me so I said...
...don't be d^3x/dt^3.
Two philosophers are having a discussion about the morality of swords. To back up their claims, one of them picks up a sword and shouts "The tip of this sword could never pierce your leather vest" and proceeds to lunge the sword into their chest
Coughing up blood, the wounded philosopher weakly replies "That's a good point"
Doctor's Discussion
Two surgeons are conferring in the hospital corridor outside a patient's room...
"We found a large lump in his wallet but I think we got it all."
Why do hard cheeses tend to shy away from political discussion?
They prefer to remain biparmesan
you'd think a discussion about water would be boring
but it's never a dry subject
Every time I start a discussion with my landlord about my unfair rent we end up arguing about nothing.
He just doesn't get it.
The Jew says...
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!
Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!
They all wait for the Jew to speak…
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!
A priest, a vicar and a rabbi are having a discussion about miracles...
With all the discussion around #metoo I've decided to swear off women.
I'd rather be safe than Ansari.
A large discussion is held about a car manufacturer coaxing young Mr. Bating while he pleasures himself.
Mass debating Mazda bating masturbating Master Bating
If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour...
..you get baked.
...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.
The Great Cow Escape
A group of cows who were no longer producing the required amount of milk were scheduled to be butchered. They had a long discussion the night before, and decided to try an escape. They used cow mannequins to fool the farmer and snuck out successfully. It was an elaborate plan filled with bravery and heroism. Proving true, once again, that drastic times call for plastic heifers.
What did Trump say to the Mexican President in a private discussion about his wall?
Let's keep it between us.
Two priests drive around at night.
Going through a wooded area, they are stopped by the police. Seeing he just has stopped two men of the cloth, the officer mutters: "Excuse me, but we are looking for a child molester..." The priests stick their heads together, and after a short whispered discussion, exclaim: "OK, we'll do it!"
It's funny how a sentence can have different meanings depending on where you say them.
saying "you da bomb" in the US is a compliment.
However a discussion in the Middle East.
What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia?
A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.
What do you call to fat people having a chat?
A heavy discussion.
A Broccoli, Mushroom, Walnut and a Banana are having a discussion
Broccoli: I look like a tree!
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella!
Walnut: I look like a brain!
Banana: You guys wanna talk about something else?
Hollywood Halloween
Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.
Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'
Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'
Arnold Schwarzenegger overhears their discussion, walks over and replies 'I'll be Bach.'
An amputee is taking part in a discussion on the effectiveness of gloves
On one hand, they are good for cold weather.
On the other, they don't really help.
4 friends decide to emigrate from China to the United States
Their names are Chu, Tu, Bu, and Fu.
They have a discussion and decide that it may be a good idea to change their names to sound more western, so they improvise on their names.
Chu changes his name to Chuck,
Tu changes his name to Tuck,
Bu changes his name to Buck,
And Fu decides to go back to China
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist...
While you guys were having your discussion about the glass of water, I drank it!
Sincerely,
The Opportunist
I swear, if I hear another Gi / No Gi Jiu Jitsu Discussion ...
Im going to choke someone.
I told my roommate you get enough vitamin C in your diet without needing supplements.
The next morning, I noticed he was still taking Vitamin C with breakfast.
"Why are you taking that?" I quizzed him.
"What do you mean?" was his response. Feeling the need to revisit our previous discussion, I reminded him,
"It's fruitless".
Comparing subjects that are apples to oranges isn't useless
It can lead to a fruitful discussion
A so-called friend of mine and I were having a heated discussion regarding what to do with all of the plastic waste we are generating. I decided we couldn't be friends when he brought up straws.
I can't be friends with someone who makes straw-ban arguments.
Father and son are having discussion who is smarter
"Dad, do you know who invented AC motor?"
"Of course I know! Nikola Tesla"
"Yep Dad, Nikola Tesla, not his father."
What did Peter Parker say when someone stole his answer during a discussion?
"I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye."
I saw two vegans talking to one another.
Fittingly, it wasn't a tasteful discussion.
What an interesting discussion to start
Hey guys, I wanted to ask if you eat the middle of the donut. I've heard that it has a lot of calories so I don't eat it, I don't throw it out either it just dissapears.
If the US would switch from inches to meters
We'd have a lengthy discussion
I had a really good discussion with my calculus professor today
but after a while, it started going off on a really weird tangent.
After a long discussion about our future, my partner and I decided to name our first born 'No Pun'.
That way they'll certainly be aware that they weren't intended.
The Greatest Sex Culture . . .
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
At an ecumenical round-table discussion, various religious leaders tried to answer the question "When does life start?"
"At conception," said the Catholic priest.
"No, no," said the Presbyterian minister. "It begins at birth."
"It's in between," said the Baptist. "Life begins at 12 weeks when the fetus develops a functional heartbeat."
"I disagree with all of you," said the rabbi. "Life begins when your last child leaves home and takes the dog with him."
I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday
We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
In a British bar,
a discussion about arranged marriages took place as follows:
English gentleman: How could you marry a woman before knowing her?
Indian man: How could you marry a woman AFTER knowing her?
End of the discussion.
Internet discussion:
user kiki357: HEEEEY, HOW ARE YOU? I'M NEW HERE!
user ukili: Try pressing CapsLock.
user kiki357: AWESOME, NOW I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP PRESSING SHIFT!!!!
Reddit banned me from commenting on posts about trains.
.
They said I kept derailing the discussion.
Even though I'm a nerd, I don't really embrace the notion of complete and perfect knowledge of canon, but I'll admit I was pretty embarrassed when I lost all credibility in a discussion on Chewbacca when I inadvertently spelled it with a K.
It was a Wookie mistake.
When my girlfriend and I first got together...
... we had a frank discussion wherein she said she's monogamous. I candidly admitted to her that I am polyamorous. So far we've had a great mono-poly thing going. And the upside is, I own all the railroads!!! And a hotel on Boardwalk!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the discussion deliberation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working discussion diverse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.