Discovery Jokes
71 discovery jokes and hilarious discovery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about discovery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the funniest jokes inspired by the Discovery Channel, Discovery Card, Land Rover Discovery, Jackhammer and Laboratory exploration. Laugh and have a good time from this collection of jokes that explore the funniest side of the Discovery Channel.
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Funniest Discovery Short Jokes
Short discovery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The discovery humour may include short discovered jokes also.
- A new discovery which makes dogs live as long as human beings... Allowing a loving bond between them and their non vaccinated owners had been discovered.
- A buck wearing a robe and clutching a bible was found dead near a rural highway... The person who found the animal exclaimed "Deer Lord" upon its discovery.
- Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel ... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go.
- Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees? In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology.
- Did you hear about the recent discovery of a giant, reptile-like predator with hemorrhoids? It was a Tyrannosaurass.
- They should make birth control for men Because it makes more sense to fire blanks than shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Recent discoveries will make this joke obsolete, thought I'd give it one more run. - Sean Connery finds a cupboard in his house he hasn't used before A rare moment of shelf discovery.
- A solid joke A scientist is studying the three states of matter.
The scientist then makes an amazing discovery, the scientist in the other room then walks in, he asks "What's the matter?" - All this WFH time has led to a surprising discovery: I do my best work in the kitchen. I'm counterproductive.
- In light of Germany's discovery of ISIS using mustard gas: What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
A seasoned veteran.
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Discovery One Liners
Which discovery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with discovery? I can suggest the ones about disclosure and investigation.
- In all my years working at the Land Rover factory... I made several discoveries
- Working at a Land Rover factory is so interesting I make a new Discovery every day
- My upstairs neighbor recently made a groundbreaking discovery... He can't fly
- The first Person to drop a Nokia made a discovery- A groundbreaking one
- For how long since its discovery has Covid 19 been deadly? From right off the bat.
- I found a Land Rover whilst metal detecting today It was a lovely discovery
- The shovel. The discovery of the shovel was a truly groundbreaking moment for humankind.
- I was searching for bear photos When I made a grizzly discovery
- I remember when they first told me about pangea.... It was a groundbreaking discovery.
- Was the discovery of a new planet an accident? or did they planet
- What does Arthur say when he makes an amazing discovery? Excalibur!
- NASA just announced discovery of oil on Mars Humans* are finally going to Mars
* US Army - Recent Scientific Discovery: Diarrhea Is Genetic. It runs in your genes.
- The Jackhammer, Now that was a groundbreaking discovery.
- Geologists make ground breaking discoveries everyday. Get it? Haha
Discovery Channel Jokes
Here is a list of funny discovery channel jokes and even better discovery channel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL The Discovery Channel recently green-lighted a controversial new special... shart Week
- Now here's a Discovery Channel Special I'll be sure to watch... Shart Week
- I was watching the discovery channel the other day and they said that a lion would never cheat on it's mate... But a Tiger will.
- Chuck Norris Watches "the Nat.Geo. Specials" on Discovery Channel.
- The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
- Do you want to know what I was for discovery channel dress up day? I dressed up as n**... and afraid.
I was n**... everybody else was afraid.
Land Rover Discovery Jokes
Here is a list of funny land rover discovery jokes and even better land rover discovery puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I returned home late from work one night to find a 2004 Land Rover had crashed into the front of my house. It was an awful Discovery.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Discovery Jokes
What funny jokes about discovery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean explore jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make discovery pranks.
Recently, I discovered my f**... for self discovery.
I just came to that conclusion!
ALEX TREBEK: This accidental discovery in 1928 opened the door to modern antibiotics
**ME:** *(spraying a mouthful of popcorn)* WHAT IS A DOORKNOB?!
A Broken Watch
A guy is walking down the street and suddenly notices that his watch has stopped working. As he stands there musing over this discovery, he notices that the display window of a nearby shop has several dozen watches and clocks in it.
The man steps inside the door of the shop and asks the proprietor, "Excuse me, my watch has stopped working. I wonder if you can repair it for me?"
The proprietor looks up from his desk and says, "What are you talking about? I'm not a watchmaker--I'm a mohel. I perform circumcisions."
Confused, the gentleman asks, "Well then why do you have so many watches and clocks in your window?"
The mohel calmly replies, "What would you prefer that I display?"
A Russian man makes a remarkable discovery
"What poor people there are in America," a man tells his comrade, "Their cars don't have hoods, their phones don't have b**..., and their wine is old!"
A man is walking through the woods...
when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"
What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?
There's been a ground breaking discovery...
My friend has been hiding something.
I was cleaning my friend's room for him the other day and moved a pile of clothes off of the floor and into the hamper. To my surprise, when I lifted them, I found a perfectly gelled, expertly trimmed mustache on the ground, I saw him the next day and confronted him about my discovery. ''You got me.'' he said... I had just found his secret stache.
The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.
They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.
Star Trek Discovery is going to have a female lead which will ruin the series.
The male captains wandered around aimlessly getting into trouble.
She will just ask for directions and head straight to the destination.
u**...! I've done it!
...says the gynecologist after a spectacular discovery.
"I don't think that's quite right sir," says the patient.
Did you hear about NASA's astronomical discovery?
It was a fluke. I heard they didn't plan-et.
A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings
Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
Cops have released a statement on the discovery of "Glory Hole" in the bathrooms of a hugely prestigious college sorority house.
Police are looking into it.
And are preparing a probing investigation.
I don't get the hype about the new Star Trek Discovery
Why are people so excited about a new STD series?
Scientists discover a food proven to lower a woman's s**... drive by at least 95%
This discovery has been named "Wedding Cake"
Did you guys hear about the archaeologist's recent discovery?
Nevermind, I wouldn't want to rune the surprise.
A blonde calls her friend...
"Get here NOW! I made such a discovery!"
A friend comes over.
"Look!", blonde says, and turns off the light.
"Well, it's dark..."
"Do you know where light went?"
"Um... No...?"
Blonde marches her friend to a refrigerator through the darkened apartment. Pulls the door open.
"Here!"
Fat fashion designer has found a time machine [OC]
Thinking about how many opportunities of discovery await him, he went inside and clicked a button.
He soon found himself in ancient rome. He noticed all the plebs wearing cool ancient clothes so he quickly went to the nearest shopping centre.
Being fat himself, he asked the shopkeeper if they can sell him XL shirts. That question made the shopkeeper curious, thus he asked the designer:
\-Do you really want to purchase that many shirts?
Noted archeologist Fred Flintstein made an amazing discovery today in Sweden
He found remains of some primitive musical instrument and a small deposit of fossilized e**.... when asked about what they signified,
Fred Flintstein replied: "A dab o' ABBA doo."
Little Johnny, a young American boy, is down at the shops when..
He sees a group of disgruntled looking Australian tourists holding maps and wandering around.
Being the inquisitive young lad that he is he decides to try and find out a bit about them. Although he cant understand a word they're saying he quickly learns that they're from an ancient Australian tribe called the Fakawi!
Excited by this discovery Johnny runs home to tell his mother about his find.
"Mum, mum!", Johnny shouts, "I met native members of the Fakawi tribe today!".
"How did you know who they were?" Mum asks.
"Well that was easy," says little Johnny, "everywhere they went they were telling people, "We're the fakawi!"".
What do you call it when someone dies on the Lewis and Clark Expedition?
Corpse of Discovery
What did the urologist say when they made a discovery?
u**...!
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer
A Scientist, Inventor, and Engineer are tasked with solving a major world problem. The Scientist does the research and makes a discovery that the Inventor then uses to invent the thing that will solve the problem. The engineer refines the invention until it is ready for operation. Their solution is a huge success and very profitable. Who makes all the money?
The businessman.
Whenever I see an astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.
'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'
'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in Scotland some sheep are black'
'Actually' said the mathematician 'all we know is that in Scotland there is a field in which there is a sheep, one side of which is black'
What do field anthropologists and jokes subredditors have in common?
They dig around all day looking for some rare *humerus* discoveries only to find they've already been catalogued via Google search.
A doctor found a cure for muteness
Dr. Smith, a medical professional studying human vocals, found a cure to muteness.
He found out after dealing with a patient and an unlikely scenario happened.
He receives an award for medicine, and is invited to give a speech. He speaks about his life, inspiration, and discovery. He brings the man that has been cured to the microphone.
The cured man clears his t**... for the first time in ages, and states:
"Thank you all. I don't know what to say."
