Discover Card Jokes

I've just discovered that the kids next door stole my credit card to pay for their Mom's b**... job

Just wait till I get my hands on them!

A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners

At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took at a card and wrote Revelations 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it to the door.
When the offering was taken the following Sunday, the pastor found his card had been returned. Along with the verse he had written, he found another cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 .
When he checked his Bible to discover what this could mean, the pastor began to chuckle.
Revelations 3:20 reads behold, I stand at the door and knock . Genesis 3:10 says, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**....

There is a sign at a gas station that said, 'We take Visa, Mastercard, Discover Card, and American Express.'

After I filled up they took my Visa, Master Card, my Discover Card, and my American Express.

On a day full of infidelity, an American, French, and Japanese businessmen all returned from work early.

to discover their wives in bed with other men.
The American went straight for his 12 gauge shotgun.
The Frenchman began removing his own clothes.
And the Japanese man pulled out his business card and waited politely for his wife to finish and introduce him to the stranger.

Scientists recently discovered a fossil of a giant bespectacled dinosaur carrying a library card.

They wasted no time naming its genus *thesaurus*

MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.