Discomfort Jokes
10 discomfort jokes and hilarious discomfort puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about discomfort that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Discomfort Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good discomfort joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Dating when your 30 is like finding a seat at a theater one minute before the show.
The perfect seats are already taken by someone who arrived much earlier than you and of the seats available, the ones in the back are an unfulfilling experience, the ones in the front overwhelm you with discomfort, and the ones that are decent substitutes are either broken or next to kids.
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My kinda Dr.
a woman goes to a new gynocologist for the first time, for her annual pap smear. as the dr.is getting everything ready, and the woman is in the usual position, the dr. explains that there will be some discomfort. he then asks if she would like to numb the area first so she is more comfortable. she tells the dr. *yes please* and he then proceeds to bury his face between her legs and says...num num numnum...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not comfortable with my sexuality...
but luckily I have a discomfort f**....
How are you doing? the doctor asked, as his pregnant patient gasped, sweated, and panted in pain...
She could not even get a sentence out, so great was her discomfort:
"I don't!..... [gasp]... can't!......[grunt] ... don't!..... [cry]..."
"Hmmmm. Sounds like your contractions are a few seconds apart."
A man walks into his doctor's surgery and says "Doc, I'm experiencing some discomfort downstairs"
The Doctor takes a look and says "well I think I see the problem - you've got a steering wheel in your pants".
The man says "Thanks doc! It was driving me nuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you hate it when an egg gets stuck in your t**...?
Luckily, the discomfort is always over easy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Hot Thai Nurse
After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service in the UK, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.
As usual he was asked to s**... off, he lay n**... on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.
"At this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an e**..." said the nurse.
"I haven't got an e**..." said the man.
"No, but I have" replied the nurse.
Healing Kiss
In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting.
The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"
She replies. "My head hurts."
Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks her, "Is it better now?"
"Yes," she says.
Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?"
"Here," she replies, pointing to her lips. So the boyfriend kisses her lips.
"Is it better now?"
"Much better."
"Anywhere else?"
She replies by pointing to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck.
Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me, do you do hemorrhoids?"
Cough medicine.
A pharmacist is about to take a lunch break and he says to his assistant, "I'll be back in an hour, keep an eye on things".
Upon his return, he notices a man outside the pharmacy, standing against the wall, clutching his abdomen, obviously in some pretty serious discomfort.
He continues into the store and asks his assistant, "what's with the guy outside?" to which the assistant says "he came in with a bad cold. I couldn't find the cough medicine, so I gave him some laxatives."
"Laxatives??!!" exclaims the pharmacist, "that's not gonna do anything for his cold!"
"Sure it will," replies the assistant "Look, he's afraid to cough!"
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