Disclaimer Jokes
59 disclaimer jokes and hilarious disclaimer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disclaimer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A disclaimer is used to alert the reader to proceed with caution, but humor can be found within these boundaries. Check out these original jokes that are purely legal!
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Funniest Disclaimer Short Jokes
Short disclaimer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disclaimer humour may include short disclosure jokes also.
- I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke. - How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in.
Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it. - Where does a penguin keep his money? In a snow bank!
(disclaimer: saw this on the display of a local bank and I giggled). - i asked my husband to look at things from my point of veiw he looked out of the kitchen window
DISCLAIMER i am a male
DISCLAIMER i am NOT gay i am straight - Next time your wife is angry.... Put a cape on her and and say, "Now you are, super angry!!!"
Disclaimer: results may vary - I'm not completely useless... I can be used as a bad example.
Disclaimer: I heard this somewhere before. - What's the difference between an AL Queada base and a Pakistani school? I don't know man, I just fly the drone.
DISCLAIMER: Not my joke. - My girlfriend thinks I treat our relationship like a game Unfortunately that cost her 37 points
(Disclaimer: this isn't my original joke, it's from some mobile game I used to play) - Be the change you want to see. Disclaimer : Above quote is not for blind people as they can't see.
- I went on a trip and my girlfriend called. She told me she missed me So THAT explains why I saw a random bullet hole on my car
Disclaimer: I never actually had a girlfriend to begin with.
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Disclaimer One Liners
Which disclaimer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disclaimer? I can suggest the ones about copyright and friendly reminder.
- What is the most widely used legal disclaimer in a Mexican restaurant? "Hot Plate"
- Can you see into the future? No? Well, it's not like you have 2020 vision.
- Goodbye, boiling water... you will be mist
**Disclaimer: Not scientifically accurate**
Disclaimer For Jokes
Here is a list of funny disclaimer for jokes and even better disclaimer for puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Every time I click "Remember Me" on a login page, I get a little sad thinking about my fleeting existence... ...But some cookies would brighten my day!
Disclaimer: Made this joke up just now. - Why don't we let Google Chrome drive? Because it crashes all the time.
*Disclaimer - shameless chrome user* - What did the boulder say to the other boulder? I rock. You Rock. We Rock.
Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks. - Who is Donald Trump's favorite Civil War General? Stonewall Jackson
(disclaimer I don't actually know who his favorite general is) - "Are you nuts?" > Are you nuts?
> No, I'm pistachios.
*^Disclaimer:* *^Just* *^like* *^almonds,* *^pistachios* *^are* *^no* *^nuts.* - Perhaps we should start throwing small potatoes at FCC Chairman Pai to express our displeasure and to annoy him. It would make him Ajit-tatered.
(disclaimer, do not throw potatoes at people, duh) - I guess, with the new Doctor being female... It really has become a period drama.
Disclaimer: I'm hyped for the new season :D - If I meet my lawyer over dinner to give him more work ... does that constitute a mandate?
*Disclaimer*: No, I don't assume all lawyers are male - My parents decided to have a Nirvana-Themed wedding Then again, shotgun weddings were all the rage back then.
Disclaimer: 8371 days is long enough. - Disclaimer: Original joke from an almost 5 year old. What does a fat turkey say?
Wobble Wobble
Hilarious Disclaimer Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about disclaimer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean warning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disclaimer pranks.
The church is struck by lightning.
The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as.
The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church.
One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did so many black people die in Hurricane Katrina? (disclaimer: a tad racist)
Because surviving involved swimming.
Do you have kidneys?
No, you have adult knees
*DISCLAIMER: Should be directed to adults, not children. Dad jokes FTW.
You guys ever hear the joke about the cross-eyed seamstress?..
She couldn't mend straight.
Disclaimer: My 80+ year old grandfather told me this joke over the weekend so it is older than sin, figured you guys may enjoy it. Sorry if re-post.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed...
Try crystal m**..., it really is a miracle drug.
*disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected.
"Coming up on tonight's news, hear about the tragic case of 10 people who lost their lives trying to escape a fire at the nightclub everyone's been dying to get into."
*Disclaimer: No pun in ten dead.
1995: A Chinese Official is conversing with a Russian citizen...
...Chinese Official, "You have nothing in Russia."
Russian, "Oh yeah, we have Yeltsin."
Chinese Offical, "Then we will steal your Yeltsin.
Russian, "If you take Yeltsin you'll have nothing in China."
Disclaimer: This joke is not mine, it was told to my father during his stay in Russia in the year 1995.
Spotify's "listen to ad for 30 minutes of ad free music" disclaimer
No seriously, you get 10 minutes...max
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Disclaimer warned about h**... of the eye
I said to my friend "h**... of the eye?! They are doing it wrong."
Friend says "She had to see it coming."
A Bee on a Fly
(Disclaimer) this is a repost from something I saw a long time ago, so if someone could get a source that'd be very cool
A bee is riding on the back of a fly. The fly turns around, and asks, hey, are you a bee?
In which the bee replies, I might bee.
The fly then says, dude, that's the worst pun I have ever heard.
The bee responds, I know man, I made it up on the fly.
What did the scientist say when he put oxygen and hydrogen together?
OH.
Disclaimer - I'm sure this has been used before, but I thought of it this morning and wanted to share it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a farmer, a p**..., and a bluegrass band all have in common?
They all know how to throw a h**... down.
(Disclaimer: I was exchanging dadjokes with our server at Krueger's in Cincinnati. He wrote this joke. Neil, if you're out there..cheers!)
So sad to hear the former lead singer of fleetwood Mac has emphysema.
Wheezy Nicks was always one of my favorite singers.
/disclaimer: I have no idea what her real medical condition is.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend rents out broken kites, no contracts or lease required.
No strings attached
Disclaimer: I know this joke is s**.... My 5 year old nephew did not tell me this.
What do horses eat?
Hay of course.
What do gay horses eat?
*Hayyyyyyyyy*
What do mad horses eat?
HEY!
*Disclaimer-I'm fairly certain I made the last line up, but have heard the previous two all through my childhood. It's much better told in person, especially if you really yell that last line. People think they already know the joke, the extra sentence gets them intrigued, then they're paying attention and super startled when you yell the final "hay".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My mom told me this joke
Donald and Tommy walk into a wedding.
Everyone brings amazing gifts for the couple.
Donald brings a peanut as his gift.
The couple finds this offensive and decides to shove the peanut up Donald's a**....
But then Donald starts laughing.
The couple asks him why he is doing this.
He says 'Tommy brought a coconut for you guys'.
Disclaimer: I replaced the names in this jokes as if I had kept the same names a lot of you might find this offensive.
It was stormy weather outside, so I was really surprised to hear the doorbell ring.
The doorbell camera revealed it was my mother in law, completely soaked from the rain, and shivering in the icy wind. Concerned she might catch a cold, I hollered:
Please, don't just stand there!
Go home!
————————————
Disclaimer:
I really appreciate my mother in law. This is a joke (which I like to tell her once in a while). In-laws deserve to be treated with respect, just like real human beings.
Joke written by an AI
Disclaimer: The joke below was not created by me, or any human, but rather by an AI. I was curious to see if an AI could have a sense of humor.
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a very attractive woman. After an hour of conversation, the woman says to the man, "Thank you for buying me these drinks all night but I am not going to sleep with you. I'm not that kind of girl." The man says, "I'm not that kind of guy. I have a wife and kids at home. I drink to forget my wife and kids at home."
What dog breed is the funniest?
Pit bulls, they leave everyone in stitches.
Disclaimer: I am a pit owner, and I still found this funny. Please don't inundate me with pro-pitty rebuttals, I already know.
A man hires a blonde to paint his porch.
He tells her that the brushes, paint, and ladders are in the garage.
About 30 minutes later he hears a knock and answers the door. The blonde lets him know that she's finished.
"Wow" he says, "that was quick. Did you have enough paint?"
"Yup, enough for 2 coats!" she replies.
The man thanks and pays her. As she's leaving she turns around and says "By the way, it's not a porch. It's a Ferrari."
Disclaimer: I did not make up this joke although I wish I had.
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II
# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part III
# Arizona
Its so hot in Arizona, cows are giving evaporated milk and the trees are whistling for dogs.
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part IV
# Arkansas
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on 1-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver asks, " 'Bout what?"
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
