The Best 23 Discipline Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Discipline jokes. There are some discipline plagiarist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these discipline methods puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Discipline Jokes and Puns

A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat died.

In Heaven, all three faced God, who wanted to know what they believed in.

The German Shepherd said, I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.

Good! said God. Sit at my right side. Then God asked, Doberman, what do you believe in?

The Doberman answered, I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.

Aha, said God, you may sit on my left.

Then God looked at the cat and asked, And what do you believe in?

I believe, replied the cat, that you are sitting in my seat.

A German Shepherd, Doberman And Cat Have Died And Gone To Heaven

A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.

All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."

Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?

The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."
Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."

Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"

The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting on my seat."

How do you discipline your pet rock?

You hit rock bottom

How do you discipline a coffee bean?

You ground it.

Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies?

It's so realistic.

Discipline is important

A wife calls her husband into their son's room. She says, "Look what I found under Johnny's bed!" as she points to a suitcase filled with whips, paddles, canes, and cat–o'–nine–tails of every size, color, and material. "What are we going to do with him?" she asks. The father looks at the suitcase, looks at his son, and looks at his wife. He says, "Whatever we do we shouldn't spank him."

If laziness were an olympic discipline...

... I'd want to finish 4th so I wouldn't have to climb the medals podium...

Discipline joke, If laziness were an olympic discipline...

Not sure which is the harder part about being vegan

The discipline and focus it takes to eat that way, or the time and energy it takes to tell everyone you're a vegan.

What do you call a flatworm that firmly believes in discipline?

A disci-planarian.

People say that being able to count is important in order to get somewhere in life. I disagree.

The 3 most important things to obtaining success are
and Wisdom.

You Wanted Kinky....

Guy tells his wife he'd like to try some humiliation and discipline. So she took him to her parent's house.

You can explore discipline misconduct reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean discipline misbehave dad jokes. There are also discipline puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Long ago, my mentor told me to look into self improvement. He used to mumble a bit, though.

Now I don't have the discipline to actually build one, but I know everything about constructing shelves.

Confusion reigns at the Olympics

A young journalist walked up to a track and field athlete who was warming up for his event to get an interview.

Not entirely sure of the athlete's discipline he asks, "Are you a polevaulter?"

The athlete replied, "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"

Courage, Discipline, Faith. We are the total package.

Join the United States Postal Service.

How does a quarterback discipline his kids?

Intentional Grounding

I figured out how to discipline my kid without spanking

Electric dog collar

Discipline joke, I figured out how to discipline my kid without spanking

If you fully dedicate yourself to the discipline of procrastination . . .

You should never face any problems.

If you do encounter problems, you are doing it wrong.

A monk had sex with a practically decomposed corpse.

It was considered a grave offense.

(True story in the Buddhist "Book Of Discipline volume 1")

Whats the most important aspect of gun safety to practice around a feminist?

Trigger discipline

Which vegetable has the highest discipline


How Do You Discipline A Ghost?

Corporeal punishment

My wife bought a new dress and asked me if it made her look fat

I said, "Of course not, honey. It's not the dress. It's your lack of discipline and self-control."

Which academic discipline is the most racist?


Philosophers claim there are no paradoxes, thus they are all inherently Zenophobic.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the discipline ethic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working discipline consistent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes