The Best 32 Disciples Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Disciples jokes. There are some disciples follower jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these disciples christians puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Disciples Jokes and Puns

Jesus and his disciples at last dinner.

"Waiter!", Jesus called, "Can I get a receipt please?"

After some time, waiter finally comes to Jesus and puts a receipt in his palm.

Jesus is looking at receipt for 10 seconds straight with confusion and shock all over his face.

He turns to disciples and shouts "Didn't I tell y'all to order water instead of wine?!"

Good Friday / Easter Joke

So it's after the resurrection and boy is Jesus in the mood for some partying. He gets the disciples together and heads for the club!

They hit the dance floor, but something is wrong - Jesus just can't seem to get in groove with the music. He tries and tries, but finally yells out. . .

Help! I've risen and I can't get down!

Jesus and his disciples are fishing in heaven....

After a while Peter says, "hey Jesus, remember when you walked on water...that was awesome!" Jesus says, "Yeah, that was fun! I'm going to do it again!" He steps off the boat and immediately sinks to the bottom of the lake. After a lot of effort the disciples manage to get him out of the lake. Paul asks, "Jesus, what happened?" Jesus responds, "I don't know...I guess last time I wasn't as holy...."

Disciples joke, Jesus and his disciples are fishing in heaven....

Proof that Jesus and his disciples were all Mexicans...

It says in the Bible that they all traveled in one accord!

Jesus walks into a bar with his disciples...

"Thirteen glasses of water, please!", Jesus said to the barman, winking at the others...


What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

(Old WoW joke) ...and Jesus said to his disciples 'I shall grant you wisdom and salvation.'

And the disciples replied 'could we get kings instead?'

Disciples joke, (Old WoW joke) ...and Jesus said to his disciples 'I shall grant you wisdom and salvation.'

Last Supper

Recently discovered scrolls reveal Jesus' words to his disciples at the Last Supper:

"If you guys want to be in the picture, you've got to get on this side of the table."

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.

Jesus: A table for 26, please.

Headwaiter: But there's only . . . um, 13 of you.

Jesus: Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side.

Jesus sits down at the Last Supper with his disciples.

He rises and addresses them: "I'm the son of God."
"No way!" they say.
"Yahweh."

Jesus walks into a bar

"Just 12 waters please", while winking at his disciples.

You can explore disciples salvation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean disciples crossfit dad jokes. There are also disciples puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So everyone's at the Last Supper...

... and Jesus is speaking to his disciples.

He says "Take this bread, for it is my body. Take this wine, for it is my blood."

Then Peter turns to Paul and whispers "Don't eat the brownies!"

Playing guitar is a sin...

...after all, Jesus told his disciples to "fret not."

Hitler vs Jesus

Jesus gave his 10 disciples bread and wine.

Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

Jesus and the disciples are at the last supper...

Jesus holds up a piece of bread and says, "This is my body."

Then he holds up a cup of wine, saying," This is my blood."

Then he holds up a jar of mayonnaise and Peter says, "Let me stop you right there, Jesus."

Jesus said to his disciples I am divine

And you are the branches

Disciples joke, Jesus said to his disciples I am divine

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

He and his disciples were together in one Accord.

The Bible says you can fit 12 men in a Honda.

All the disciples were in one Accord.

Why does Jesus always go first when the disciples go Curling?

Because they let he who is without sin cast the first stone!


Jesus is preparing for the Last Supper...

Jesus: Judas, I need you to go to each and every one of my disciples and tell them to meet me here for supper. Also, stop by the market and get some fish, vegetables, and a dessert. When you've come back and are done cooking, set up the table and our best plates.

Later that evening, while everyone is enjoying their food, Jesus begains in a somber tone, "One of you will betray me -

Judas: "Why do I have to do everything around here?!"

The disciples are saving Jesus, taking him off the cross...

Rowing with his arms, Jesus screams: First the feet, first the feet!

So Jesus walks into a restaurant with his disciples...

...and asks the maitrre'd for a table for 26.

"26? Is your whole party here sir?" He replied.

"Oh yes" said Jesus.

"But there are only 13 of you here" replied the maitrre'd.

"Well we always sit on the same side of the table" said Jesus.

Whether it be juries or disciples, 12 is not a fair number.

It's 2 against 1

Why do Jesus and the disciples always sit on one side of the table?

The other side is for the little boys.

Which of the disciples were well-endowed?

Judas - He was hung.

What did the disciples do while waiting for Jesus to die?

They played crosswords.

Peter and the Messiah were out for walk...

when Peter asks, Master, why do you and your disciples not have nice things? You are the son of God. A king. Why don't you buy something like a new boat, or a palace? The Master stops, puts his hand on Peter's shoulder and says, Jesus saves.

[OC] Why did only one of Jesus's disciples betray him?

There wasn't enough wood for a double cross.
*badum tsssss*

Jesus walks into a bar

12 glasses of water please
*winks at his disciples*

When Jesus was resurrected, an angel escorted him to Heaven in a flying car

As the car ascended to the skies, it suddenly stalled and fell.

One of the disciples looked up and said, "Guess he shouldn't have driven emmanuel."

Jesus walks into a bar.

Jesus: 12 waters please! *winks at disciples.

Working for Jesus would be terrible.

One day, one of Jesus' disciples walked up to him to ask for a sick leave, and He replied "and you are healed."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the disciples comrades jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working disciples gospel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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