Disaster Jokes
110 disaster jokes and hilarious disaster puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disaster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh in the face of disaster with these hilarious jokes about natural, man-made, and historical disasters. From Hurricane Katrina to the Hillsborough Disaster, we've got a joke for every disastrous event. Get some emergency comic relief with these disastrous jokes.
Funniest Disaster Short Jokes
Short disaster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disaster humour may include short tragedy jokes also.
- I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
- The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.
- This is a bit wordy… I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, and now I'm experiencing some unexpected vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
- Why do Women and Children evacuate first during any type of disaster So men can think of solutions in silence
- I got drunk last night and swallowed some scrabble tiles Next trip to the toilet could spell disaster..
- Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
- I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next vowel movement could spell disaster.
- My dad said "Always leave them wanting more." That's how he lost his job in disaster relief.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl.
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Disaster One Liners
Which disaster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disaster? I can suggest the ones about crisis and scandal.
- I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster
- Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2? *60,000 credits*
- Why are women and children evacuated first in disasters? So we can rest in peace.
- The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
- I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier So going to the bathroom could spell disaster
- Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.
- Careful, this is an alphabet bomb! If it goes off, it could spell disaster!
- Why do women and children get evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think in silence
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today... Just let that sink in
- A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
- I have an alphabet grenade. If it goes off, it could spell disaster.
- Two antennas got married. Wedding ceremony was a disaster. But reception was really good.
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
Credit to my nine year old. - Why was the spelling bee cancelled? One of the participants spelled disaster.
Natural Disaster Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural disaster jokes and even better natural disaster puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With all these natural disasters happening, Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
- People usually think rolling a Natural 1 is a total disaster But apparently the real disaster is Roll20.
- What natural disaster does earth like the most? Earthquakes. They always seem to crack it up.
- There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill.
- All of the world's natural disaster met to decide which one was the worst. Avalanche won by a landslide.
- Why are earthquakes the politest of the natural disasters? Because they shake everyone's hands when they arrive and again before they leave.
- Why have we been having so many natural disasters lately? I think the world is trying to prepare us for what nuclear war feels like.
- What natural disaster movie has the most gore in it? An Inconvenient Truth
- What natural disaster do painters fear most? Brush fires.
- Did you hear about the horse ranch that got hit by a natural disaster? It was a tor-neigh-do.
Cheerful Fun Disaster Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about disaster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disaster pranks.
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Tragedy in Poland
The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.
So far 374 bodies have been found.
Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.
Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!
Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
I had a b**... party last night.
It was a disaster. Nobody came.
Difference between a tragedy and a disaster
A boy asks his dad the difference between tragedy and a disaster. The father answers "a tragedy is if we were on a boat and your mother falls off the boat into the water". "So what's a disaster" asks the boy, "if your mother knows how to swim" says the father.
Sorry for my poor English, this joke is translated
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
I hosted my very first o**... last night and it was a total disaster
Nobody came.
Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?
It was an udder disaster.
Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...
After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.
The Red Cross must be a t**... group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
A Russian boy walks up to his grandfather...
"Grandpa, is it true that there was a nuclear disaster at the Chernobyl Power Plant?" he says. "Yes, there was." replied the Grandfather, patting the boy's head.
The boy then says "And is it true that there were absolutely no consequences of it whatsoever?". The Grandpa says "Yep. None at all." and pats the boy's second head
Today I had dinner with my boss and his wife
It was a complete disaster. The wife asked me "how many potatoes would you like?" and I said "I'll just have one". She said "it's alright, you dont have to be polite", and I said "alright then, I'll just have one you s**... cow".
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...
...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Did you hear about the t**... attack on the dairy / cow farm?
It was an udder disaster.
Why are women and children evacuated first during disasters?
So the men can have some quiet to think of a solution.
ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup
If any go off, it could spell disaster
I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.
Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.
What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?
The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
What do you call a group of people who are trying to rebuild after a major disaster?
The Detroit Tigers.
Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...
is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
Be careful on the roads tonight
Lots of people will be drinking excessively and letting their wives drive. Recipe for disaster.
Help! I just ate a bagful of scrabble tiles!
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster for me.
Over half of UK KFC stores have closed down after switching chicken suppliers.
It was an original recipe for disaster.
Didi you hear about what happened to the woman who walked backwards into a propeller?
Disaster...
What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?
Lots of drowned s**....
High aunt
My family have a tradition of placing bets on how high they can hoist my mother's sister. I keep telling them to stop as it will end in disaster but they just keep upping the ante each year...
Sorry
My idea of starting a professional Hide and Seek tournament was a total disaster.
Good players are hard to find.
Instead Of Blocking Your Ex
Become such a disaster online, that everyone makes fun of your ex for dating you
Revenge 101
Patient: "I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!"
Doctor: "Your next trip to the toilet could spell disaster"
Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 (a small two-seater plane) crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...
It will be a monumental disaster.
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles....
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
2020 is like when you where playing SIM CITY 2000
You got bored and started clicking on all the disasters menu options at the same time
During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working.
It was a flat out disaster.
Thank you for calling the 2020AD customer support line
All of our natural disasters, plagues, and political upheavals are currently busy. If you are not experiencing a natural disaster, plague, or political upheaval, one will be assigned to you shortly. Please stay on the line, and thank you for choosing 2020.
I went to an outdoor restaurant last night
Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.
My whole week was a disaster
Wife died
Dog walked away
Car crashed into a tree
My house burned down
The only positive thing were the results of my cancer tests
An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.
It was a turtle disaster.
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
Why do women an children evacuate first in any disaster?
So men can think of a solution in silence.
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me.
Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.
I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.
My next p**... could spell disaster!
I ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I went to the doctor and he said:
"Your next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster."
People always say "why weren't we able to predict a disaster as big as the coronavirus?"
But not everyone has 2020 vision.
My dog ate all my scrabble tiles once.
His next s**... spelt disaster.
A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.
In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"
Why should make sure your donkey is well rested?
Because a tired a**... could spell disaster
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles
Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell DISASTER.
A friend of mine just saw a documentary on the Chernobyl disaster..
He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980's and was able to count at least 8 inaccuracies on one hand
I just swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster...
Why do they always evacuate the women, and children first when there is a disaster?
Just so the men can have a moment of peace and silence
The Polish government is planning a manned space mission to the sun
When asked if they are afraid the mission will end in disaster, they responded, no, we are not worried, we are going at night .
(Credit the late great norm mcdonald)
