The Best 75 Disaster Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Disaster jokes. There are some disaster mishap jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these disaster natural disaster puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Disaster Jokes and Puns

Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!

If it goes off, it could spell disaster!

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles

My next dump could spell disaster

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning

when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Disaster joke, Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning

Tragedy in Poland

The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.

So far 374 bodies have been found.

Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.

Paddy's firework party was a complete disaster.


"I don't understand it!" He said. "They all worked fine when I tried them yesterday,"


What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?

An udder disaster.

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins.

What a turtle disaster.

Disaster joke, A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was an udder disaster.

^(I'll show myself out)

I had a bukkake party last night.

It was a disaster. Nobody came.

Difference between a tragedy and a disaster

A boy asks his dad the difference between tragedy and a disaster. The father answers "a tragedy is if we were on a boat and your mother falls off the boat into the water". "So what's a disaster" asks the boy, "if your mother knows how to swim" says the father.

Sorry for my poor English, this joke is translated

Tragedy in Eastern Canada

Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.

You can explore disaster tsunami reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean disaster tragedies dad jokes. There are also disaster puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I hosted my very first orgy last night and it was a total disaster

Nobody came.

Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?

It was an udder disaster.

The US is having so many disasters and tragedies

Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.

Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...

After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.

The Red Cross must be a terrorist group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.

Disaster joke, The Red Cross must be a terrorist group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.

My dad said "Always leave them wanting more."

That's how he lost his job in disaster relief.

The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.

* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.

But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.

A Russian boy walks up to his grandfather...

"Grandpa, is it true that there was a nuclear disaster at the Chernobyl Power Plant?" he says. "Yes, there was." replied the Grandfather, patting the boy's head.

The boy then says "And is it true that there were absolutely no consequences of it whatsoever?". The Grandpa says "Yep. None at all." and pats the boy's second head


Today I had dinner with my boss and his wife

It was a complete disaster. The wife asked me "how many potatoes would you like?" and I said "I'll just have one". She said "it's alright, you dont have to be polite", and I said "alright then, I'll just have one you stupid cow".

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

Breaking news

This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.

Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...

...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.

Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Why do women and children get evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think in silence

My wife yelled down the stairs that I was courting disaster.

"No honey," I called up, "we have been married for nearly seven years."

Did you hear about the terrorist attack on the dairy / cow farm?

It was an udder disaster.

ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup

If any go off, it could spell disaster

I just ate a load of scrabble tiles.

Now I'm terrified my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster.

Why was the spelling bee cancelled?

One of the participants spelled disaster.

What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?

The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.

What do you call a group of people who are trying to rebuild after a major disaster?

The Detroit Tigers.

Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...

is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!

Two antennas got married. Wedding ceremony was a disaster.

But reception was really good.

Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2?

*60,000 credits*

Be careful on the roads tonight

Lots of people will be drinking excessively and letting their wives drive. Recipe for disaster.

The results for The Disaster Artist are in.

Overall, it's received Hi Marks.

Help! I just ate a bagful of scrabble tiles!

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster for me.

Over half of UK KFC stores have closed down after switching chicken suppliers.

It was an original recipe for disaster.

The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today...

Just let that sink in

Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.

It could spell disaster.

Gave my girlfriend a surprise bukake party for her birthday.

It was a complete disaster. No one came.

Didi you hear about what happened to the woman who walked backwards into a propeller?

Disaster...

What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?

Lots of drowned seamen.

High aunt

My family have a tradition of placing bets on how high they can hoist my mother's sister. I keep telling them to stop as it will end in disaster but they just keep upping the ante each year...

Sorry

I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier

So going to the bathroom could spell disaster

People usually think rolling a Natural 1 is a total disaster

But apparently the real disaster is Roll20.

My idea of starting a professional Hide and Seek tournament was a total disaster.

Good players are hard to find.

Instead Of Blocking Your Ex

Become such a disaster online, that everyone makes fun of your ex for dating you



Revenge 101

Patient: "I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!"

Doctor: "Your next trip to the toilet could spell disaster"

Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 (a small two-seater plane) crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.

Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...

It will be a monumental disaster.

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles....

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

Why do Women and Children evacuate first during any type of disaster

So men can think of solutions in silence

During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working.

It was a flat out disaster.

Thank you for calling the 2020AD customer support line

All of our natural disasters, plagues, and political upheavals are currently busy. If you are not experiencing a natural disaster, plague, or political upheaval, one will be assigned to you shortly. Please stay on the line, and thank you for choosing 2020.

I went to an outdoor restaurant last night

Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.

My whole week was a disaster

Wife died
Dog walked away
Car crashed into a tree
My house burned down

The only positive thing were the results of my cancer tests

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.

It was a turtle disaster.

Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.

The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.

The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.

The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!

Why do women an children evacuate first in any disaster?

So men can think of a solution in silence.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.

My next poop could spell disaster!

I have an alphabet grenade.

If it goes off, it could spell disaster.

I ate a bunch of Scrabble tiles. I went to the doctor and he said:

"Your next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster."

People always say "why weren't we able to predict a disaster as big as the coronavirus?"

But not everyone has 2020 vision.

My dog ate all my scrabble tiles once.

His next shit spelt disaster.

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"


Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"

This is a bit wordy…

I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles, and now I'm experiencing some unexpected vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

Why should make sure your donkey is well rested?

Because a tired ass could spell disaster

I got drunk last night and swallowed some scrabble tiles

Next trip to the toilet could spell disaster..

What's the fastest natural disaster?

A Hurry-cane

Credit to my nine year old.

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles

Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell DISASTER.

A friend of mine just saw a documentary on the Chernobyl disaster..

He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980's and was able to count at least 8 inaccuracies on one hand

I just swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles!

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the disaster tornadoes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working disaster devastation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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