Disaster Jokes
107 disaster jokes and hilarious disaster puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disaster that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh in the face of disaster with these hilarious jokes about natural, man-made, and historical disasters. From Hurricane Katrina to the Hillsborough Disaster, we've got a joke for every disastrous event. Get some emergency comic relief with these disastrous jokes.
Funniest Disaster Short Jokes
Short disaster jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disaster humour may include short tragedy jokes also.
- I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
- Donald Trump claims he won the election by a landslide How else would you describe his campaign other than a 'natural disaster'?
- My dad said "Always leave them wanting more." That's how he lost his job in disaster relief.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl.
- With all these natural disasters happening, Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
- ISIS has reportedly starting putting bombs in cans of alphabet soup If any go off, it could spell disaster
- People always say "why weren't we able to predict a disaster as big as the coronavirus?" But not everyone has 2020 vision.
- I went to an outdoor restaurant last night Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.
- Didi you hear about what happened to the woman who walked backwards into a propeller? Disaster...
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Disaster One Liners
Which disaster one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disaster? I can suggest the ones about crisis and scandal.
- Have you heard about the PR disaster at EA over Battlefront 2? *60,000 credits*
- The results for The Disaster Artist are in. Overall, it's received Hi Marks.
- Don't leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended. It could spell disaster.
- Careful, this is an alphabet bomb! If it goes off, it could spell disaster!
- Why do women and children get evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think in silence
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- The Titanic disaster happened 106 years ago today... Just let that sink in
- A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster.
- I have an alphabet grenade. If it goes off, it could spell disaster.
- Two antennas got married. Wedding ceremony was a disaster. But reception was really good.
- What's the fastest natural disaster? A Hurry-cane
- Why was the spelling bee cancelled? One of the participants spelled disaster.
- What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters? Christmas in July
- What do you call a hurricane that hits Puerto Rico? A PR disaster
- I crashed into a truck full of terrapins earlier Turtle disaster
Natural Disaster Jokes
Here is a list of funny natural disaster jokes and even better natural disaster puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People usually think rolling a Natural 1 is a total disaster But apparently the real disaster is Roll20.
- What natural disaster does earth like the most? Earthquakes. They always seem to crack it up.
- There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill.
- Why are earthquakes the politest of the natural disasters? Because they shake everyone's hands when they arrive and again before they leave.
- Why have we been having so many natural disasters lately? I think the world is trying to prepare us for what nuclear war feels like.
- What natural disaster movie has the most gore in it? An Inconvenient Truth
- What natural disaster do painters fear most? Brush fires.
- Did you hear about the horse ranch that got hit by a natural disaster? It was a tor-neigh-do.
Cheerful Fun Disaster Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about disaster you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disaster pranks.
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning
when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
Tragedy in Poland
The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.
So far 374 bodies have been found.
Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!
Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence...
It was an udder disaster.
Difference between a tragedy and a disaster
A boy asks his dad the difference between tragedy and a disaster. The father answers "a tragedy is if we were on a boat and your mother falls off the boat into the water". "So what's a disaster" asks the boy, "if your mother knows how to swim" says the father.
Sorry for my poor English, this joke is translated
Jokes
1. Something said in the pursuit of laughter.
2. A short tale with an end worth laughs after.
3. A noun you expect
commands no respect.
Root word "jocus". This limerick: disaster.
Tragedy in Eastern Canada
Canada's Worst Air Disaster occurred earlier today when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Newfoundland.
Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as searching continues through the evening.
What did the fish say to his friend who lost his wife in the Fukushima disaster?
There's plenty of other fission the sea
A scientist tried to recreate the Chernobyl disaster using only transparent gases
It was a new, clear reaction.
If Chile and Turkey had a war...
Would that be a recipe for disaster?
Would Greece get involved?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The US is having so many disasters and tragedies
Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.
Tianjin's disaster could have been prevented...
After all, the experts have warned us that China's population might explode.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Red Cross must be a t**... group, everywhere they go there's a disaster.
Pearl Harbour 9/11'd Josh Hartnett's career.
Three disasters in seven words that make a fully coherent sentence. Can anyone do better?
Goya tried to cover up a disaster at one of their factories
Someone spilled the beans.
The Worst Natural Disaster
So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today I had dinner with my boss and his wife
It was a complete disaster. The wife asked me "how many potatoes would you like?" and I said "I'll just have one". She said "it's alright, you dont have to be polite", and I said "alright then, I'll just have one you s**... cow".
I heard Anheuser Busch is sending 9 truckloads of canned water to the areas affected by Hurricane Matthew.
Who knew there was such a demand for Bud Light after a disaster?
To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site.
An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.
Breaking news
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in the Midwest. An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin. So far, the search and rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...
...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
My wife yelled down the stairs that I was courting disaster.
"No honey," I called up, "we have been married for nearly seven years."
Did you hear about the woman who backed up into a fan?
Disaster.
Dis-assed-her.
Copyright Chris Farley.
Today marks the 80th anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster.
Next up: Led Zeppelin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the t**... attack on the dairy / cow farm?
It was an udder disaster.
After a disaster only four people on earth were left alive, a lesbian, a gay, transgender and the straightest guy possible.
They wish if only they could get bi somehow.
Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the picket fence?
It was an udder disaster!
Edit . Ruined the joke - udder
What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?
The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
What do you call a group of people who are trying to rebuild after a major disaster?
The Detroit Tigers.
Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...
is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
National disasters really turn my wife on
Everytime I come home from disaster relief efforts she is pregnant
Be careful on the roads tonight
Lots of people will be drinking excessively and letting their wives drive. Recipe for disaster.
Did anybody hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
It was a disaster!
The first time he tried to salute, he nearly killed himself
Over half of UK KFC stores have closed down after switching chicken suppliers.
It was an original recipe for disaster.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The award for Best Feline Behind was a disaster.
...a real cat-a**...-trophy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gave my girlfriend a surprise b**... party for her birthday.
It was a complete disaster. No one came.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Titanic disaster and your moms dietary plan have in common?
Lots of drowned s**....
High aunt
My family have a tradition of placing bets on how high they can hoist my mother's sister. I keep telling them to stop as it will end in disaster but they just keep upping the ante each year...
Sorry
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hear about the p**... who wanted to do his part to support the victims of a disaster?
He sent THOTs and prayers.
My idea of starting a professional Hide and Seek tournament was a total disaster.
Good players are hard to find.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Instead Of Blocking Your Ex
Become such a disaster online, that everyone makes fun of your ex for dating you
Revenge 101
I know the next 2020 disaster
Road WON'T Work Ahead
If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore...
It will be a monumental disaster.
2020 is like when you where playing SIM CITY 2000
You got bored and started clicking on all the disasters menu options at the same time
During my piano recital, some of the black keys stopped working.
It was a flat out disaster.
Thank you for calling the 2020AD customer support line
All of our natural disasters, plagues, and political upheavals are currently busy. If you are not experiencing a natural disaster, plague, or political upheaval, one will be assigned to you shortly. Please stay on the line, and thank you for choosing 2020.
My whole week was a disaster
Wife died
Dog walked away
Car crashed into a tree
My house burned down
The only positive thing were the results of my cancer tests
An electrical fault at the zoo saw the entire tortoise population electrocuted.
It was a turtle disaster.
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dog ate all my scrabble tiles once.
His next s**... spelt disaster.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.
In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"
Another google meme...
Me: what is the meaning of life?
Google:
*noun*
1. 1.the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death."the origins of life"
2. 2.the existence of an individual human being or animal."a disaster that claimed the lives of 266 Americans"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why should make sure your donkey is well rested?
Because a tired a**... could spell disaster
My uncle wants to publish a cookbook that teaches people how to prepare nutritious and tasty meals using the kinds of meagre rations that are available in the aftermath of a hurricane/earthquake/flood/etc.
I told him it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
