Disarmed Jokes
26 disarmed jokes and hilarious disarmed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disarmed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Disarmed Short Jokes
Short disarmed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disarmed humour may include short jokes also.
- South American families are a real threat to American national security... They draw their power from nuclear families. That's why the president is disarming them at the border.
- Why did Thor throw his axe at Thanos's chest, instead of cutting off the hand with the gauntlet? Because he was going for the kill shot instead of disarming him.
- Hey, have you heard about.... A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
- James Bond had to disarm a bomb headed to earths core before it reached there, it was at the ocean floor now... Unfortunately the stress got to him, and he fell apart under pressure.
- A s**... bomber enters a mall, trigger in hand, threatening to blow up the building. I swiftly chop off his hand, disarming him.
- s**... deviant Going out on a limb here, I feel like s**... with an amputee would be disarmingly good.
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Disarmed One Liners
Which disarmed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disarmed? I can suggest the ones about and .
- How do you disarm a man with a knife? Cut between the shoulder and upper arm.
- How did Beowulf defeat Grendel?
by 'disarming' him. - I always greet new people with 'Expelliarmus' ..... it tends to be pretty disarming
- Anyone can disarm a bomb Most people can only do it once.
- What's Sean spicer's best quality? He's disarming
- Why do people date bomb defusers? They have a very disarming quality.
- I held an active bomb in my hand one time. It was very disarming.
- What do you call someone with no arms? Disarmed.
Disarmed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about disarmed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disarmed pranks.
Can you call the British PM a fool?
During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
A guy is getting arrested...
... When the cop asks him "Sir, do you have any weapons on you?"
The guy flexes his biceps and says "Not unless you count these guns."
The cop rolls his eyes and said "No sir, we don't count your arms as weapons."
The guy replied "Good, I wouldn't want you to disarm me."
I came up with that one a couple of weeks back. Hope you guys don't think it's too lame.
An amputist and a swordsman walk into a bar
The swordsmen and the amputist get into a fight, so the swordsmen challenges him to a duel.
"Careful," says the amputist. "I have dis-armed just as many men as you, and de-feated even more"
Four cops had to take a test...
They were all asked the same question:
"What would you do if a man with a knife was coming at you?"
The Cop from the U.K answered by listing the steps in order what he was taught to do in Police Academy and in the Police Handbook
The Cop from the U.S Answered:
"BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG"
The Cop from Japan answered:
"Disarm the man and arrest him using any form of martial arts that is best suited"
The Cop from Canada answered:
"Please put the knife down."