Disagreement Jokes

18 disagreement jokes and hilarious disagreement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about disagreement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Disagreement Short Jokes

Short disagreement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The disagreement humour may include short dispute jokes also.

  1. I had a disagreement with my girlfriend while she was pmsing She:" You better stop fighting. You know what I'm capable of right?"
    Me: Yes..bloodshed.
    Period jokes are not funny. Period.
  2. A Muslim and a Christian had a disagreement in a bar... they talked it over and resolved their differences because they are both Canadians.
  3. While discussing trigonometry, two mathematicians had a disagreement over the best method for measuring angles. It turned into a protracted argument.
  4. What's the official title for the Poopsmith's boss? We feel like we have the best two answers, and there's disagreement over who's is best.
  5. When my wife and I have a disagreement, I always have the last word... usually it's, "Yes Dear"
  6. There were people having a disagreement over whether it is correct to use the term "Jew", "Israeli", or "Hebrew". In the end they were just arguing semitics.
  7. My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement. My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement.
    She wants a huge wedding with 500 guests and a piano player… I want us to see other people.

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Disagreement One Liners

Which disagreement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with disagreement? I can suggest the ones about agree to disagree and controversy.

  1. If two vegans have an disagreement Is it still called a beef?
  2. A subject and verb walk into a bar... They have a disagreement.
    They walks out.
  3. Genie quits working after a severe disagreement with master. He rubbed her the wrong way.
  4. What do you call a disagreement about cows ? A cow-troversy.
  5. Do you suppose there was much disagreement over what to call the Honda Accord?
  6. How do l**... settle relationship disagreements? Rock, paper, scissors!

Disagreement joke, How do l**... settle relationship disagreements?

Amusing & Witty Disagreement Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about disagreement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean misunderstanding jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make disagreement pranks.

A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"
They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.
"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're n**... and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.
"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist, who had a major disagreement with the second and knows the second chemist only drink water, says to the bartender, "I'll take some H2O."
The second chemist automatically responds, "I'll take some H2O too."
The bartender shrugs then turns around and promptly gives the first chemist his glass of water, and the second chemist a glass of water too... because the bartender is an adult and can infer meaning from contextual clues.

Buddy Hackett duck joke

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

Disagreement joke, Buddy Hackett duck joke