Dire Straits Jokes
10 dire straits jokes and hilarious dire straits puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dire straits that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Dire Straits Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good dire straits joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A blonde finds herself in serious money trouble...
Lost her job and she's in dire financial straits.
She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my job and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my job, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my job, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...."Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
If Dire Straits robbed a grocery store
They'd get honey for nothin' and chips for free.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What are the Dire Straits' favorite kind of c**...?
Saltines of swing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which song does the s**... donor play in repeat?
Dire Straits - Money for Nutting
At the IRS audit
IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free.
Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?
IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.
What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?
One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.
^badump ^tssss
Dire Straits are looking for an agent in the Middle East..
They should check out Qatar George...
He knows all the Kurds.
I empathize with the homeless by singing Mark Knopfler's ballads.
They make me feel like I'm in dire straits.
Music
What do you get if you cross Chris Rea and Dire Straits?
Diarrhea
Got Change?
An elderly couple is in financial dire straits. Their pension is running out and things are starting to look desperate.
After several pointless job interviews and attempting to sell some junk from the attic, they reach the sad conclusion that the only hope they have is for the wife to sell her "favors" on the street.
And so, in the morning, the wife leaves the house and doesn't come back until late at night. Her husband is anxiously waiting at the door.
"So, how much did you make?" he asks.
"$719.25", she replies before collapsing on the couch.
"Wha...? Who paid you with a quarter?!?"
"Everybody."
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