Dipping Jokes
73 dipping jokes and hilarious dipping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dipping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These dips may not be for chips, but you'll be tainting your mood if you don't soak up some of these hilarious double dipping jokes. Add some flavor and submerge yourself into this collection of witty and hilarious jokes.
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Funniest Dipping Short Jokes
Short dipping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dipping humour may include short dipped jokes also.
- What's the difference between a restored church and a bumhole dipped in holy water? One's a rectified sanctum...
- Whom did the German philosopher quote when his friend dipped his hand in boiling oil? Johann Gottfried
- The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today. It is expected to dip into the teens.
- Many years ago I knew a man who's love for God was matched only by his love of dipping meat into melted cheese. That's right, he was a Christian fonduementalist.
- I was sending letters to a kid with cancer I told him, "the road ahead will be filled with bumps and dips, but soon, it'll straighten out." no one noticed I was talking about his heart rate monitor.
- An elephant and an ape go to a party together. They want to bring some snacks: crackers and dips. Which of them buys the crackers? The elephant.
Because the ape always buys the dip. - Skinny dipping involves a swimming pool. Fat dipping involves a ranch cup and chicken nuggets.
- Why did the tech CEO's wife leave him? She wasn't satisfied when his performance dipped by 5-30%.
- My long distance girlfriend wanted to see the guacamole I made So I sent her a solicited dip pic
- A detective walks into a party... and asks the partygoers,
"Do you guys have any Nacho Cheese?"
The partygoers respond,
"No dip, Sherlock."
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Dipping One Liners
Which dipping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dipping? I can suggest the ones about chip and dip and dripping.
- Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry? Asking for my naan.
- I poisoned my wifes pita dip The police charged me with hummus-cide
- What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin? The part he dips in olive Oyl.
- Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast? Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.
- what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce? one guacamole
- What do you call a mummy dipped in chocolate? Pharaoh Roche
- I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips... ...I think I'm a hummusexual.
- What do you get when you dip a chicken in paint? A crosswalk.
- What's Avagodro's favorite type of dip? GuacaMOLE
- What does the Pope dip his chips in? Holy Guacamole
- What do robots dip in salsa? Microchips
- What is Avogadro's favorite dip? Guaca-mole
- What's Fozzie Bear's favorite chip dip? Guaca-wocka-mole
- What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip
- What do you buy for a WallStreetBets party? The dip
Skinny Dipping Jokes
Here is a list of funny skinny dipping jokes and even better skinny dipping puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If an obese person goes skinny dipping, It really isn't.
- Finally got up enough courage to skinny dip... ...just can't attend the Baptist church any more.
- What did the Englishman say to the Frenchman that was skinny-dipping in a river? Are you in Seine?
- A couple decided to go skinny dipping in Paris during a cold winter night. Everyone called them in Seine.
- I've stopped going skinny dipping since I put on a little weight Now I've started chunky dunking.
- Why can't elephants go skinny dipping? They can't get their trunks off...
- What did god say when Eve went skinny dipping for the first time? d**..., i will never get that scent out of my fish.
- What did god say when Eve went skinny dipping? d**..., i'm never getting that smell out of the fish.
- A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping... When a c**... floated to the surface
"okay guys, who f**...? - I was walking on the beach when I stumbled on an elderly couple skinny dipping "At least they have a good s**... life" I thought to myself once the husband turned round
Double Dipping Jokes
Here is a list of funny double dipping jokes and even better double dipping puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Greek Economy is so bad... ...they've had to cut production of humus and taramasalata. It's a double-dip recession.
- Did you ever realize That we live in a world where people lick other people's buttholes, and yet some of you still complain about double dipping chips!
- The news have just reported that Greece will be stopping the export of Hummus and Taramasalata later this week... Experts are saying that this will lead to a double dip recession.
- What do you call a Mexican double-dipped in hot oil? A refried b**....
Dipping Sauce Jokes
Here is a list of funny dipping sauce jokes and even better dipping sauce puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the shopkeeper say to the dip sauce thief? It's nacho cheese.
- What is a r**... plumber's favorite dipping sauce? ...wranch
Share Hilarious Dipping Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about dipping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sipping jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dipping pranks.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...
Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
A l**... walks into a restaurant
He sits down to have dinner. His oozing sores and appearance make him nervous. He later notices a woman look at him and throw up. He walks over to apologize for his appearance ruining her dinner. She says "oh, it's not you. It's the guy behind you dipping his shrimp in your neck."
My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning
Seems he was their favorite rabbit
An Old Man and His Lake
An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."
One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Roy Moore is like winter
He's often dipping into the teens
Call me the temperature
Because tonight I'm dipping into the teens
What do Roy Moore and the recent weather have in common?
They've both been dipping into the teens at night.
GOP releases current polling numbers for Roy Moore
they're dipping into the teens
The forecast in Alabama is favoring Roy Moore...
The temperature is dipping into the teens.
Did you hear about the professor who could tell the acidity or baseness of a solution by dipping his g**... into it?
He had a PH D
An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond
As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"
A farmer was picking apples when he heard a noise from his pond. He walks over and sees three young women skinny dipping.
They notice him and crouch in the water up to their shoulders. Go away! Stop spying on us! The farmer says Sorry ladies, but I didn't come out here to see you n**.... Holding up his apple bucket he says I came to feed the alligator.
There's a guy going around dipping his t**... in glitter
It's pretty nuts.
So there's this guy going around dipping his t**... in glitter
He's an investment banker at Goldman Sachs
Have you heard about the guy dipping his t**... in glitter?
Its pretty nuts.
A man was recently caught for breaking into craft stores and dipping his t**... in glitter.
It's pretty nuts.
Did you hear on the news about the guy going to all of the craft stores in the area?
He was dipping his t**... in in glitter.
It was pretty nuts.
They found a guy in hobby lobby dipping his t**... in the glitter bins
One eye witness was quoted as saying "It was pretty nuts!"
Have you heard of the artist that creates beautiful artwork by dipping his girlfriend in paint and dragging her across a canvas?
He always paints with a broad brush.
Police have warned of a man in craft stores dipping his t**... in glitter.
It's pretty nuts.
Tennessee man accused of dipping t**... in customers salsa.
I'm sure j**... Lee Lewis wrote a song about that.
Police have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his t**... in glitter
It's pretty nuts
Adam walks into a cafe and orders tea
Adam ordered a cup of tea in a cafe.
So, a waiter brought it for him but dipped his fingers in it.
Adam asked "Hey m**..., why are you dipping your fingers in my tea?"
The waiter replied, "My finger is injured and the doctor advised me to keep it warm."
Adam said, "Then shove it up your a**...!"
Then the waiter said, "Yeah, that's where I keep it when I am not carrying tea"
I just got escorted out of the crafts shop for dipping my b**... in the glitter...
Pretty nuts!
Skinny dipping
A farmer heads down to the pond carrying a bucket. As he nears the pond he hears voices. It's a bunch of girls skinny dipping. The girls hear him coming and all head down to the deep end. "We see you!" shouts one of them. "We're not coming out until you've gone". The farmer says "What? You think I've come all this way just to see a bunch of n**... girls? Sheesh. Nahhh, I just came down here to feed the alligator".
A homeless guy was caught at a craft store dipping his b**... into a bag of glitter
It was pretty nuts.
Security Guard : "I'm sorry ma'am but skinny dipping is prohibited in this beach "
Woman : " You could have warned me before I removed the clothes"
Security guard :" Well, there is no law about that".
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
"Hey, monkey"
"Hey, lion"
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Ten bucks and I will explain"
The lion pays her.
"Thanks. I'm dipping a banana peel in the water"
"w**..., monkey? You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"
"Sure, I'm an idiot, but I'm making $40 an hour."
